I know what you mean, yet I continue. In some ways you are right to say we are focussing on outward appearances only, and not looking at the inside. However my daughter enjoys her 'work' and at 4 yrs old is only vain in the way a child can be. She believes (because I tell her) that she is the most beautiful girl in the world. But she also knows she is the cleverest, kindest, funniest girl too. Actually she knows that both her and her sister are fab. To us parents all children are beautiful and I know full well that there are much more beautiful children out there and my dd is only a model becuase of timing and my previous job which gave me an in (so to speak).
Also we get work because we are not precious as parents, and never hassle the agency, turn up on time and do the job. Hence we get more work.
The only time I felt bad was when a child turned up to a shoot who was just too big for the clothes, I felt awful to look at a kid and see her as too fat! However she couldn't work that day because the clothes just didn't fit, since they were ASDA's which come up big it was not the fault of the clothes. I couldn't believe it and I felt so bad for her. This would happen in adult modelling too and she still got paid.
I don't think we are asking our kids to be too beautiful, but yes we are surrounded by images of so called 'perfect' kids. I think it is a fault of society in general but people (adults and children) with any kind of special needs or disability are marginalised by the media. This is wrong, but if we as women vote against 'fat' models in our mags, what hope is there.
Larger models are not used in womens mags as surveys have said the vast majority don't want to see them. They want to see thin models as inspiration. This is mad, but true.