21 facts about MNs - Are they accurate?

[zombieslayer]

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

21. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

1. Naice hamis a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

3.The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in Victoria Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombieis a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread aboutthe most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood howthe reference to only 1 dogis a defence!)

1. Netmumsis either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here.Orthe tool ofthe devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasionor any other disaster.There are many threads discussing this withthe more practically minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who started their site in secret, while still posting away on MN,and the existence of the site was leaked by Justine from MNHQ, leadingto the falling out between Those-Who-Were-In and The Rest Of Us. At least some Moldies still post on both sites.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14.There is no such thing as populars, unpopularsor royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters,or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long asthey can type and havetheir own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think ofthe children"is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e.there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating.The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day, or to offer round biscuits.

21. Fruit Shoots and Greg sausage rolls arethe drink and food of the devil and only suitable forthe DCs of netmums.

22. Matthew Wright's research team seem very interested in threads here and strangely threads discussed on MN often appear on Matthew Wright's show shortly afterwards.

23. Stealth boasting refers to posts that include irrelevant details of wealthor achievements of kids. For example, AIBU to be annoyed that my DP burnt tea that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on while I supervised the pool boy cleaning out our large heated indoor swimming pool.

24. Gregg sausage rolls and Fruit Shoots arethe food and drink of the Devil and only suitable for the children of Netmums.

25. Never google anything suggested by posters on here especially strange terms terms you have never heard of such as dragon butteror munting.It will be much worse than you could ever imagine.

26. There are a whole number of unintentionally funny threads in the Classics section. Many of these started off as fairly boring threads such as the one where the OP asks what she could do with some mangoes she has. This descended into a verbal fight when one poster posted the suggestion "juggle them".

27. Bun fight - means a fight here between posters that is pretty heated.

28. Some posters used to have great fun posting "deleted by mumsnet" on their post to make it look as if there had been a bun fight when there hadn't. MN HQ stopped this particular fun by postin "deleted by mumsnet" in a grey background.

29. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

Made me chuckle

Left off
29. Quiches are support threads.

And I have read poo troll threads, although obviously never...ahem...contributed, so I know they are real.

Yes, zombieslayer, poo trolls are real. And they make poor HelenMumsnet nervous.

She doesn't seem to mind zombies or Zombie though.

30. MNHQ drink gin.

31. MNHQ steal the MN teddy bear, POM, his little traveling case and scoff all the chocolate I sent with him without updating his blog. this has happened 100% of the times I have sent POM to them.

I don't need a sock puppet. Do you really want more than one of me?

Am I one of them?

I always thought pombears was a reference to Little Lapin (?) finding one in her knickers.

Zombie proudly presents the PomBears thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1056940-to-think-this-couple-are-bonkers

Zombie must point out that the PomBears don't actually put in an appearance until about 3/4ths of the way through the thread. She also reminds you that, if you've not read this before, you must start at the beginning and read the entire thread. She promises you it is worth an hour of your life.

"I don't need a sock puppet. Do you really want more than one of me?"

Fair point Stratters. I know Zombie is someone's sock puppet though.

31. The MN scarf is a leapord print black and white one. The MN haircut is a shoulder length layered type bob (I think)>

Do you understand the meaning of sock pupper, zombieslayer? Your point 16 would appear to show that you do.

Yes, Zombie has other NNs that she has used in the past and may well use in the future to post about different aspects of her life on which she wanted advice. She does that to keep from being identifiable in RL. She is far from alone in using the name change facility in that way. That is not sock puppetting.

She also has registered a few other Zombie names. She'll declare them here and now: ZombieMNDB - the self appointed Mumsnet Zombie Liaison Officer; ZombieCatG; ZombieCatT; ZombieCatM.

Zombie rarely if ever posts on controversial or serious threads. That's not why she exists.

She has never sock puppetted. Ever.

Zombie is not a sock puppet, she has two NNs for two parts of herself IYSWIM but it's not the same thing.

Quiches are cliques, sometimes support threads but not always.

Fair point zombie, you are right, you are not a sock puppet. What I should have posted is that I don't know your other non zomie user names.

Maryz - I agree with everything you say.

If you peek in the Dustbin? you'll see that in the OP there Zombie does disclose one of her other non-Zombie nicknames.

You're more than welcome to join us...

Maryz is actually practising sock puppetry zen.

She is the Mighty Sock Puppeteer, whilst also being a sock puppet herself

Thank you zombie. Sorry I hope I haven't upset you by wrongly suggesting you are a sock puppet.

Maryz remind me never to agree with you again. except in teenagers I don't want to be accused!

No no, the MN scarf is tan and black, not black and white.

HTH.

945. Simple MN equations:

+ =

+ + =

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+ + + + + + + + =

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you will be accused of not giving all facts, even tho noone actually wants to read a 10 paragraph op. Oh, and do make sure you use paragraphs because even if you have shagged half of take that, noone will be impressed.

Then again, noone ever ever say what famous person they have shagged in the 'what famous person have you shagged threads'.