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21 facts about MNs - Are they accurate?

175 replies

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 13:37

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

  1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.
  1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.
  1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.
  1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.
  1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)
  1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.
  1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.
  1. Benefit threads never end well.
  1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

  1. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

  2. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

  3. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

  4. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

  5. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

  6. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

  7. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

  8. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

  9. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

  10. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

  11. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

OP posts:
Stratters · 01/04/2012 23:26
Grin
Stratters · 01/04/2012 23:27

Oh, Twigs and Pebbly Shit too.

TimrousBeastie · 01/04/2012 23:28

another one- when following a link that leads you to ebay make sure you are logged out of ebay otherwise you will get an email with special recommendations just for you, with lots of private and well worn pants.

< resisting temptation to click on small photo in email to see if the person is real or rubber>

Honeydragon · 01/04/2012 23:28

erm...just to update my dog quota may be about to increase, mine appears to have chronic flatulence - oh heavens the smell! Sad

cheesesarnie · 01/04/2012 23:28

had to tell dd off yesterday for laughing at a lady wearing a baby in a sling with extreme side norkages

op- please add to your list cheesesarnie loves zombieslayer and is extremely glad that zombie has stopped lurking and started posting if this wisdom is anything to go by but we shall no doubt clash over grapes etc in a few months Wink

Maryz · 01/04/2012 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissElisabethLindor · 01/04/2012 23:30

ooh, I missed the mangoes one.

  1. (or whatever) Posting "I really love this name, but am not sure how to pronounce it" on Baby Names topic are generally told that if they can't pronounce, how the hell do they think that their friends and family will know how to.

  2. Yoonique spelling of names are not encouraged on MN.

zombieslayer · 01/04/2012 23:31

Thank you cheese Grin
But what are wanky baskets?

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 01/04/2012 23:32

Maryz - I am already fearing for my life, blow back from flambé is a risk I'm prepared to take over slow stenchy asphyxiation.

I'm not sure whether the dog is asleep or unconscious from her own bottom burps!

DeepThought · 01/04/2012 23:35

wnaky baskets this is very affectionate, we love treasure baskets really; Cod misnamed them and the label stuck

Maryz · 01/04/2012 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeepThought · 01/04/2012 23:37

oh em gee we have not told you about UCM is that you?

Maryz · 01/04/2012 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeepThought · 01/04/2012 23:39

nannypasta-gate

cheesesarnie · 01/04/2012 23:42

arf forgot about the it that you

cheesesarnie · 01/04/2012 23:42

is not it

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 01/04/2012 23:48

No one has mentioned Boden.

Are we not allowed to talk about TW's cock? I missed that memo.

Stratters · 01/04/2012 23:48

FIFTY FOUR POUNDS?

For a wnaky basket with bits in?

Shock

Sorry, Sinister Easter Bonnet wins hands down for me every time. If docket ever removes the SEB photo from her profile a little bit of me will die.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 01/04/2012 23:49

Or how about Leave The Bastard? I see that one fairly regularly.

DeepThought · 01/04/2012 23:49

this explains LOADS

Stratters · 01/04/2012 23:51
DeepThought · 01/04/2012 23:55

moo hah hah

fussbucket · 02/04/2012 00:00

Marking place, need to peruse properly and possibly partake tomorrow

DeepThought · 02/04/2012 00:02

god yes the sinsiter easter bonnet still reduces me to tummy wrenching hon king-like-a-seal tears of laughter

DreamingOfPeace · 19/05/2012 18:27

It informed me :-)

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