21 facts about MNs - Are they accurate?

[zombieslayer]

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

21. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

Your name is similar to mine.

Though Ive been 2ombie5layer on other internet places well before they became popular here.

Massive plasma TVs are chavvy. Calling anything chavvy is discusting snobery.

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

3.The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in Victoria Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombieis a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here.Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster.There are many threads discussing this with the more practically minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who started their site in secret, while still posting away on MN,and the existence of the site was leaked by Justine from MNHQ, leading to the falling out between Those-Who-Were-In and The Rest Of Us. At least some Moldies still post on both sites.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14.There is no such thing as populars, unpopularsor royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. under MN Terms & Conditions there always has to be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating.The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day, or to offer round biscuits.

21. Fruit Shoots and Greg sausage rolls are the drink and food of the devil and only suitable forthe DCs of netmums.

22. Matthew Wright's research team seem very interested in threads here and strangely threads discussed on MN often appear on Matthew Wright's show shortly afterwards.

23. Stealth boasting refers to posts that include irrelevant details of wealthor achievements of kids. For example, AIBU to be annoyed that my DP burnt tea that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on while I supervised the pool boy cleaning out our large heated indoor swimming pool.

24. Gregg sausage rolls and Fruit Shoots are the food and drink of the Devil and only suitable for the children of Netmums.

25. Never google anything suggested by posters on here especially strange terms terms you have never heard of such as dragon butter or munting.It will be much worse than you could ever imagine.

26. There are a whole number of unintentionally funny threads in the Classics section. Many of these started off as fairly boring threads such as the one where the OP asks what she could do with some mangoes she has. This descended into a verbal fight when one poster posted the suggestion "juggle them".

27. Bun fight - means a fight here between posters that is pretty heated.

28. Some posters used to have great fun posting "deleted by mumsnet" on their post to make it look as if there had been a bun fight when there hadn't. MN HQ stopped this particular fun by postin "deleted by mumsnet" in a grey background.

29. Depending on your point of view quiche threads are either support threads or cliques.

30. The MN scarf is a leapord print black and tan one. The MN haircut is a shoulder length layered type bob.

31. TalcandTurnip has an impressive command of the innovativde use of smilies. (Perhaps NM may suit better??).

32. Fuck off to the far side of fuck is a perfectly acceptable MN phrase when annoyed with a poster.

33. Paragraphs are essential in all posts.

34. If you do not include all details in your OP, you will be accused ofdrip feeding - especially in AIBU.

35. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

zombie5layer - ooops sorry, didnt realise.Don't name change. If I decide to post again, I will name change. Sorry.

29. Wha-wha-WHAT?

Retract that calumny this minute, MsSlayer - or I shall labour you around the face with my eau-de-nil kid glove and challenge you to a DUEL with emoticons.

simmer

I am sure you would win any such duel. Are you sure you don't post on NM . They have an imprssive range of smilies that would suit your unique talents.

There is a yawning void of difference between using ready-prepared, animated emoticons - and constructing a tableau from the paltry range we have in the pantry here on MN.

That is like ordering a Vesta chow mein at Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons.

I am huffy.

.

.

.

.

And no, I don't post over there. I am loyal

Sorry T&T

Only knobbing about

'Twould take a great deal more than that to nark me.

But don't mention the you know what again or I shall be obliged to consult my legal people.

The You Know What?

Ello Talc, my lovely.

34. Mumsnet has its very own 'she who must not be named' we are all currently hunting down her horcruxes. If you say her name three times over you will immediately appear in your local court where you will be sued for defamation.

Stratters - good evening!

The You Know What was zombieslayer's implication that I post in the other place. Because they have a wider range of emoticons.

I ask you.

They haven't got side norkage though, I'm fairly sure of that.

What is side norkage? That one has passed me by.

Side norkage is what one suffers from when lying down. That sad floppage outwards.

Unless you are moi and have perfick buzzoms.

I clearly have side norkage - sadly.

zombie I once posted a representation of Stratters lying on a treatment bed displaying a bit of cheeky side-boob.

Several male MNers had to excuse themselves and one was obliged to tell his wife that he "couldn't stand up for a minute or so" and had to keep his copy of Angling Times firmly in his lap.

Missed that too

Have you mentioned the bat?

What bat?

Did someone say gin?

What bat?

That bat. Of course.

I prefer this bat on the whole.

Oh yes the bat, and of course TWC.