21 facts about MNs - Are they accurate?

[zombieslayer]

Hi I am a lurker. I am just posting to check out the accuracy of my knowledge of mumsnet. Can someone let me know if these are accurate and if I have missed anything out (note it is after 12pm, so too late for April Fool's jokes!)

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

21. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

Glad to hear it Kurri. But I feel I must point out that the evidence your dog could count was less than impressive. If I remember rightly you asked your dog if she could count to 1,000 and she barked "yes" in response. Conclusive proof??

25. Never google dragon butter or quite a few other things

Are you suggesting my dog is a liar Zombie??

unprovoked my arse!!!!!

It's 2 barks for yes and 1 bark for no in the Boh household.

Grapes. You forgot The Great Grape Supermarket War.

Okay thanks for all the suggestions. I have updated the list below and will of course as suggested be campaigning for them to replace official TAlk Guidelines.

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket.

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears.

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in Victoria Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion.

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster.

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole.

1. Benefit threads never end well.

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again.

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex.

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex.

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.22. Fruit Shoots and Greg sausage rolls are the drink and food of the devil and only suitable for the DCs of netmums.

21. Matthew Wright's research team seem very interested in threads here and strangely threads discussed on MN often appear on Matthew Wright's show shortly afterwards.

22. Stealth boasting refers to posts that include irrelevant details of wealth or achievements of kids. For example, AIBU to be annoyed that my DP burnt tea that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on while I supervised the pool boy cleaning out our large heated indoor swimming pool.

23. Gregg sausage rolls and Fruit Shhots are the food and drink of teh DEveil and only suitable for the children of Netmums.

24. Never google anything suggested by posters on here especially strange terms terms you have never heard of such as dragon butter or munting. It will be much worse than you could ever imagine.

25. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive.

No Kurri - you on the otherhand....

What is the great grapes war? Missed that one! Or is it the one about eating grapes in supermarket and then presenting cashier with the stalk?

Well done - a very comprehensive list

22. Leave the bastard!

SHMNBN

Although as she must not be named, she shouldn't be on the list.

It is indeed the stealth, or not so stealth eating of grapes prior to purchase. As practised by robbing bastards.

Oooh, oooh

26. It is your choice to be a SAHM or a WOHM. Nobody else's business. Each is equally valid.
27. Don't start a BF vs FF thread unless you have a really strong constitution.
28. Nobody but you cares about your child's reading level

29. Mortimer is the unofficial mascot of Mumsnet.

You've got moldies wrong and I'm not sure of the point of your list but if it's kept you off the streets for a while then fair play to you.

Bananas - explain Moldies to me then? Wasn't a lurker then, so only picked it up second hand.

Why do you want to know the ins and outs of it? You can find it all in the archives but it's not at all like you seem to think atm.

I don't want to know the ins and outs of it - just a summary of what people mean when they refer to moldies.

30. If you don't like the subject of a thread or think it is pointless, don't open it. If you do open it, close it down again without commenting.

No no no, I'm not having a pop or saying your thread is pointless. I'm being curious as to why you've compiled the list and posted it. Do you want to add to it? Propose it as an introduction to MN? I've just never, ever seen anybody do this kind of thing. But then I've never met anybody who has the power to lurk and not post.

Don't know really tbh. Yes add to it if anything missing.

To amuse people? It amused me.

Thanks Robin.

Zombie would like to point out that this thread is in _Chat. It is a lighthearted, fun thread. It needs no further reason to exist.

1. Naice ham is a reference to a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket. dont have a clue, missed this

1. Pombears refers to a dinner party where the OP and her DH were offered a variety of nursery type food. At a later dinner the OP's DH offered everyone pom bears. i often wondered what this was about

1. The poo Troll posts about a variety of improbable poo situations often involving manual evacuation, including the infamous thread about a woman pooing her clothes in St Pancras Rail Station. A Mn's sister was dispatched with clean clothes to said toilet to find them empty.ive never found the poo troll

1. Zombie is a very nice zombie who lives in a Trade Marked Dustbin and has promised to warn all Mn's of any imminent zombie invasion. oh

1. Honeydragon has only flambeed 1 dog on a thread about the most intelligent MNs. (Although I have never understood how the reference to only 1 dog is a defence!)?

1. Netmums is either a perfectly reasonable alternative site with greater support than here. Or the tool of the devil full of tickers, anti SN comments, racism, sexism and homophobia - and no swearing! Although some posters belong to both, including MrsDeVere who was forced by netmums to reduce the size of her sparkly tickers after a complaint by another poster. netmums just scares me

1. All self respecting MN's do a maintenance wash and put veet down the plug hole. I don't do this

8.i never post on benefits threads

1. An OFRS is a rucksack to keep by the door in case of a zombie invasion or any other disaster. There are many threads discussing this with the more practicaly minded including dry foods, battery torches, weapons and those strictly in mum mode including baby wipes and favourite DCs toys.

10.The moldies were a group in 2008 who fell out with people here and left to start their own site, only to never be heard from again. i wonder if their site ever took off

11. Swearing is perfectly acceptable here and any thread asking for less swearing, especially from a newbie, will not end well.

12. Somone will always post - what business is it of yours to any thread commenting on somebody else's family - even in AIBU.

13. Using the term Huns is not acceptable.

14. There is no such thing as populars, unpopulars or royalty, just those who are long time lurkers, prolific posters, or post occasionally.

15. Anyone can post here - men, childless women, even dogs as long as they can type and have their own MN account.

16. A sock puppet is a second user name that some posters use to post support for their point of view when no-one is agreeing with them - particularly useful in AIBU.

17. Anyone typing "think of the children" is always being ironic.

18. Friday night is bumsex night i.e. there should under MN Terms & Conditions always be a thread that involves anal sex. ive never found this

19. Centreparcs that you may previously have thought of as an overpriced middle class holiday destination, is in fact a hotbed of bumsex. i might give this a go

20. Fathers 4 Justice regularly post here berating mums for being men hating. The "correct" response is to talk about the weather, where you are taking your kids that day or to offer round biscuits.

21. Whether lurking or posting, MN is addictive. my house fell down the other day, i didnt notice