I have just had the shock of my life and really don't know what to do.

[santababee]

I will preface this by saying I have only posted once using this name, I am a regular poster,Iknow, I know, we read it all the time don't we? Me included.
I am in a state ATM.

Dh had a colleague who he was very close to(for osme reason even hearing her voice made a small alarm bell ring. He would go for coffee with her regularly, advised her about various things to do with her wedding (we had gotten married a year before)just general stuff like that.
She's never met me or addressed anything to me directly but also bought ds some things when he was small. I do remember reading something which had "I miss you alot" on a card or something from her, anyway. She was tranferred to another office hundreds of miles away about 18 months and I found out from an acquantance that she's had a baby. I thought it odd that my dh never mentioned it as he tends to drop into conversation anyone who is having a baby close to us and also quite relieved thather time would be taken up elsewhere!
I was being nosey and asked the acquantance a few bits about her baby wanting to send a few gifts for her from me rather than dh IYKWIM, kind of silly I know but I wanted to gain a bit of control (does that make sence?)

She e mailed a photo of this lady's baby and I nearly fell off my chair. The baby is so like my son that at first I thought it was a joke or at best a mistake. Her baby is the double of my husband.

I have sat here opening and shutting the photo in disbelief. I am talking myself out of being stupid ,then comparing photos of my ds. I've been doing this for a couple of hours even leaving my ds with my neighbour as I can' think straight, type properly or do much really.

I know the colleagues e mail address and have resisted the urge to mail her a pic of my son with a question mark next to it. I'm imagining all sorts.

it could be a coincidence. I have a friend whose girlfriend had a son that wasn't his, but everyone commented on how like his "father" he was (and actually he was like him).

it could justy be coincidence! if she moved 18 months ago it can't be your husbands can it?

i saw the absolute double of my ds on member profiles the other day (danishmummy's little boy).... and he definitely isn't dp's! lol

I personally would have to contact the woman directly and ask.

And if it is your husbands, I'd boot him out on top.

Sorry, I'm not the most rational of people!

how old is the baby now do you know?

And has your husband been 'away' at all?

Senora. There is NO difference between the images of our babies. None. I keep looking at the picture and willing myself to believe that my ds had the same outfit and that it's really him. It's not a passing resemblance.

Show the pic to your dh and mention the similarity???

How old is the baby?

My husband goes away regularly. I would say once every two months sometimes overseas. I don't know how old he is, from the photo I would say about 6/8 weeks, pretty small.

Sorry that was already posted.

Could you ask someone objectively to look at the two photos and see if someone unrelated can see a similarity.

HAve you ever suspected anything going on before this?

Fuzzywuzzy I think I'm too damn frigtened to even think about it. I just want to print off the pic leave it somewhere in the house and disappear off to my parents house without saying a word.

Is it a recent photo. God I cant imagine how you are feeling. Did something actually happen before she left between her and your DH that you are certain of?

the only way this is likely to be resolved is by you taking the bull by the horns, difficult though that may be. I thibk you ought to ask some questions, either of her or of your dp....otherwise it just gets more and more churned up.
It is probably just a weird coincidence!!

No never. He is the most lovely husband. He rings me every night no matter where he is sometimes several texts too.

Santababee

Don't let this even plant a seed in your head. It is probably just coincidence.

Does this woman look at all like your dh (people are often attracted to people of a similar physical type/appearance to themselves)?

Or maybe the womans husband has similar features/colouring to your dh. It does happen. ds's childminder looks after a little girl who could easily be taken as ds's sister by strangers.

Don't let your mind go in the direction your currently following.

There could be some weird coicidences going on here...

It could be that your husband has the sort of looks she generally goes for. Hers could perhaps even have similar features to your husband... Perhaps why she likes him so much - but not necessarily in THAT way - just lots of these things go on sub-conciously IYKWIM.

Also, if you have ever had a teensy niggly worry about these things, this seed of doubt could have sparked the worry here... We can often convince outselves of things where there is nothing to see. There's a definate 'face' on mars. Doesn't mean that someone carved it...

And also remember that without seeing her husband, you can't know for sure.

You could confront DH by saying "don't you think it's weird that her son looks like ours..." and see how he reacts...

I do hope that it turns out to be just an odd co-incidence...

I can't put my finger on anything I really can't other than the fact I distinctly remember feeling uncomfortable when he mentioned her name during a conversation.

I think you ought to take this to your dh before you confront her with it. If there is nothing in it she'll be pretty offended by your suggestion. But if your suspicions are making you this anxious you can at least find out what he has to say.

Ok Elfbert. She sent us(my dh) a photo of her on her wedding day and her dh was in the photo they are both blonde and fair skinned.(funny that the photo isn't anywhere at home isn't it?) My dh is not British or fair, he is dark skinned.

Can you do some more fishing, find out if she has a partner? Could be coincidence but you need to find a way to put your mind at rest.

I know what I would end up doing but it's probably not the right thing to do as it would be very challeneging and confrontational. It would also involve calling his bluff.

BE Careful

This sort of thing can cause a whole heap of trouble in a good marriage, if your dh thinks you are accusing him of something and he's totally innocent.

If you trust your hubby, then it's unlikely the baby is his.

Also, most small babies look alike, at least to me.