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Original poster

thinking of trying for a girl and want to hear your experiences

154 replies

happyforthemostpart · 01/09/2011 18:20

Okay - so i know it's not PC to want a particular sex BUT I have always envisaged having a daughter. My son is 17months old and when he was born i have to be honest i was disappointed. I can't believe i could say that now and i love him more than anything else in the world and would not swap him at all!!

BUT - we have started trying for a brother or sister for him and I am wondering whether the 'girl' theories are worth giving a go.

I have done a lot of reading up and my thoughts are:
Timing method Timing method - seems to make sense but I am worried about missing out on pregnancy completely and don't really want to be TRYING for too long!
Diet method - I think a balanced diet is necessary when trying for any baby. Though i have been drinking oj and eating yoghurt.... not sure this will tip the balance though!!
Sperm count - again i know lowering it is supposed to work for a girl but i am concerned lowering it too much will just result in no pregnancy at all!!

My orginal plan was just sex every other day and see what happens - the normal sensible way to conceive... But wondering if any ladies out there have had luck? Or think it's all rubbish?

Also - I haven't been charting cycles for long as just came off the pill - first cycle was 31 days and then 34 days so i think ovulation is around day 20/21 as was monitoring mucus too.....

Anyway - I just wondered if anyone felt comfortable sharing their stories? I don't want to talk about it with any of my friends or family!

Thanks!

OP posts:
drcrab · 01/09/2011 22:32

Thank you nicknack for pointing that out. Yes that's what I meant - sorry didn't do biology and am rather sleep deprived at the moment as said DD does not sleep through the night or for any extended period of time.

No need to take such a tone.

TinkerTailorSoldierLibrarian · 01/09/2011 22:37

It is perfectly natural to have a preference sometimes and often it's difficult to divorce your rational and logical knowledge about it from the desire to have a certain gender. You can't help wanting something. And it doesn't at all mean that you aren't desperate for a healthy pregnancy and any baby or even that you would reject a baby who wasn't the gender you had a preference for. There are myriad, often quite complex reasons for these gender preferences in the first place. They're not an idle whim usually.

Threads like these will always go the same way. You are not wrong or terrible to have a preference. You don't have to filter your experiences through the experiences of others. Being mindful is of course important but your are entitled to ask a question without being lambasted for it. It's a trite comparison but my Mum is upset by the appearance of her leg post cancer surgery. But her neighbour has no leg. The two are unrelated and nobody should ever tell my Mum that she is stupid or insensitive because 'at least she has a leg'. We all have our experiences, wants and ideals. And as long as they're not harmful and actually pretty natural then this shouting down of posters is unnecessary.

And surprisingly it does work both ways. People who have a girl are told they MUST want a boy. I'm pg with dc2 (a boy after a girl first time round) and people told me I of course would want 'the set' and particularly that dh must be desperate for a son and heir. I quite happily tell them I want a pig actually. And globally, boys have been the ideal for many, many years, often with terrible outcomes.

Anyway, there's very little you can do. It remains pretty much 50/50 which is quite pleasing. You get the baby you get and they rather transcend their gender in the end. I won't tell you off for hoping though. You're only human.

Good luck ttc.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 22:39

"Because I don't want to read a load of childish name-calling posts when I come on here.

Make a point in an adult way or risk having your post deleted for breaching the talk policy. I don't care either way."

Hahahahahaahahahaha, want to pull that stick out of your arse? We are grown ups. We are allowed to express ourselves however we want, whether its through swearing or jokes. Grow up!

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 22:41

You're expressing yourself very nicely this evening Lissie. Do you feel better for it?

NickNacks · 01/09/2011 22:41

No tone- but just pointing out a factually incorrect statement you made. Wouldn't usually be picky but it matters to the thread quite a bit considering the question of the OP and the information she is asking for.

That's all- don't be so tetchy!

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 22:46

I do actually, sorry if I am not adhering to your personal talk policy. This is mumsnet. People swear, they tell you when you are being a twat and they express themselves however they want. I don't understand requesting deletion of such a tame post, and I think you are being precious. I'm entitled to say that surely?

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 22:48

And now I'm bowing out. Derailing the thread. Good luck op.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 22:48

And now I'm bowing out. Derailing the thread. Good luck op.

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 22:50

Say what you like Lissielou, you obviously need to direct your anger somewhere.

You made a typo btw, when you referred to my personal talk policy. It's the mumsnet talk policy - if you get round to reading it you'll discover that, no, people aren't 'entitled' to express themselves however they want.

Why do you think it's necessary to personally attack people by the way? Are you like this in real life as well? Perhaps if you need to find a way to deal with your emotions so that you can express yourself without needing to attack people?

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 22:52

No idea why you keep going on about swearing btw Confused

Graciescotland · 01/09/2011 22:52

We have a DS currently trying for DC2, DH has put on weight deliberately as he thinks that way we will have a DD. The thinking goes lean mean fighting machine - times of war more boys are required - a bit chubbier settled down -time of peace and prosperity more girls are required to neutralise all that testosterone.

TBH a baby is a blessing, healthy baby doubly so, having one of each might be nice but it's not the important thing.

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 22:54

Gracie - for women at least I think the opposite is true. Girls are hardier than boys and if a woman is eating less calories she's more likely to conceive a girl as they are more likely to survive a famine.

Don't know whether a man's diet has any influence.

MinimallyNarkyPuffin · 01/09/2011 22:57

You could try eating watermelons.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 22:58

How have I made a personal attack? I said I didn't understand reporting a post where the op was called a silly moo (or whatever it was) and I've read the talk policy thank you Hmm. Im not particularly angry (could you get more passive aggressive) the op did bug me, but I thought I was pretty restrained, in fact, I think I wished her luck. Maybe you are just being over-sensitive. Either way, this isn't fair to the op.

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 23:00

I didn't say you made a personal attack.

I didn't report your post.

I'm having a discussion with you about your point of view that it's ok to make personal attacks on posters you disagree with.

CoteDAzur · 01/09/2011 23:02

Research suggests that it is the woman's diet and not the man's that slightly effects the sex of their baby.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 23:04

Why do you think it's necessary to personally attack people by the way? Are you like this in real life as well? Perhaps if you need to find a way to deal with your emotions so that you can express yourself without needing to attack people?

I obviously misread the above paragraph. Anyway. Goodnight.

OracleInaCoracle · 01/09/2011 23:04

Why do you think it's necessary to personally attack people by the way? Are you like this in real life as well? Perhaps if you need to find a way to deal with your emotions so that you can express yourself without needing to attack people?

I obviously misread the above paragraph. Anyway. Goodnight.

Graciescotland · 01/09/2011 23:08

Really Ticklebumpkin? Didn't know that, would of thought sex would of been more to do with the man as he provides the X or Y.

That said, I think DH made up the man diet thing to justify eating my chocolate!

FunnysInTheGarden · 01/09/2011 23:08

for anyone who has had difficulty carrying or conceiving a child this topic is offensive. For anyone else it is fine. Perhaps we should just leave the OP to wish for her girl and be glad she hasn't suffered any of the foregoing? It must be lovely to contemplate pregnancy with anything other than fear.

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 23:10

Yes you did misunderstand. Good night.

TinkerTailorSoldierLibrarian · 01/09/2011 23:13

I've had problems getting and staying pregnant. I've lost a couple of babies but really nothing compared to what some posters such as lissie have been through trying to have dc2. But I still understand gender preference. It's a separate issue. It hurts like nothing else to measure your desire for any healthy baby against what seems an inconsequential whim. But the pain of one does not negate the validity of the other iyswim.

Graciescotland · 01/09/2011 23:13

Xposts with Cote's article. Interesting!

ticklebumpkin · 01/09/2011 23:14

I really am going to bed so just in case you return once again - you are defending your/other people's perceived 'entitlement' to attack people on here. I'm questioning why you think the site can't run without that 'entitlement' and if you extend this behaviour into real life.

LawrieMarlow · 01/09/2011 23:18

Am only replying to OP as I realise this is very emotive subject and not going to say anything about that.

Will say about the conception of DS and DD. DS conceived around ovulation I think. DD conceived earlier on in my cycle - about day 8 I think as period had very recently finished (was not intending her to come along when she did but v glad she did :)) and so in my case having sex earlier led to a girl. No change in diet and nothing different with sperm.

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