Help dd has put her toe up the bathroom tap and is stuck in the bath.

[Brookmyre]

I have left her there but she is getting cold. What shall i do?

Message withdrawn

you forgot the durex rub. i'm panting to know what that is.

Hope the kettle was plugged in in the bathroom then.

here is rub

Cod you get worse everyday

martha you are v funny this am

fgs how long does it take the fire brigade?

HAve to go out in a sec - come clean Brookmyre, pls?!!!??

flamebat! i'm honestly shocked.

Why thankyou kind Enid It's because I have been up since 20 past 5, I thrive on lack of sleep.

All is well, trauma over, she is out of the bath and cuddled up on the sofa.

Husband has come home to find ky jelly open and doesn't believe why it is out, so i must go and sort my marriage out.

Thanks for all your help everyone.

{http://www.soest.hawaii.edu/expeditions/mariana/images/annsoupy/kids-easter%20soupy%20closeup.jpg\this} is much more shocking.

Glad it's all over!

Damn! cocked that up well and truly not much of a shcok now!

i'm joking, flamebat. interesting site, the durex one. will foreward it dh's office.

it's my birthday in exactly one month!

You're welcome, brookmyre - do post again if we can help you with anything

It's my birthday on Sunday, sansouci! But I don't want any warming lubrication (unless I can drink it).

Did you see the vibrating ring device thingy?

did nhs ring back?

i couldn't order something like that. i'd be tracked down via internet!

glass of wine... yum-yum. might have one with my beans & bacon on toast.

sanoucci its my husbands birthday in exactly one month too and mine in exactly one month two days

sansouci

maybe he thinks you pushed DD toe into the tap on purpose so that you could get frisky with a mysterious bloke.

Quite a good plan I think. With the duvet, caremat, telly and toaster in there with her you could have had used up the whole tube of KY.

Please etll us who you are.

Fio, we're all dreaded scorpios!