Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Original poster

Male Carers at Nursery

289 replies

alison39 · 22/03/2011 22:59

Has anyone any experience of a male carer at nursery looking after their daughter? One has just started at my daughter's nursery and whilst i am absolutely fine with this, I am a little concerned about their policies over bathroom assistance, and the fact that he will be allowed to take girls to the toilet on his own, is this usual??? Would appreciate any thoughts, experience or comments.

Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
TheVisitor · 22/03/2011 23:00

The same way a female nursery nurse can take a male child to the toilet?

RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:02

He's probably a peedo, you should get an angry mob together.

cookielove · 22/03/2011 23:06

Oh dear not this one again, agree with TheVistor.

Yes it is usual, by the way its in his job description 'to care for children'

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 22/03/2011 23:06

my daughter loves the one male she has at the her school. The ladies take the boys to the loo, so whats the problem?
Ask what their policy is? most have a 2 at time rule in place.

purplepidjin · 22/03/2011 23:07

I don't know about littlies but in care, a male worker can only provide intimate care to a male patient while female staff can provide intimate care to both sexes. It's massively sexist but it's the law.

Good on the bloke for doing the job - there's not many have the patience, and the little boys will learn a lot from a good role model Smile

GwendolineMaryLacey · 22/03/2011 23:10

You're going to get a load of replies like Rita's...

But yes it is entirely usual. DD has had a couple of male keyworkers at her nursery and they're just part of the team in the same way as the female staff. It's a whole new world, nurseries etc I found and male nursery workers are increasing in numbers which is great. But I can understand why you'd do a bit of a double take if it's new to you. Don't worry about it. The two guys men that worked at dd's nursery were the most popular staff with the kids, they adored them :)

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:13

I agree with everyone who has said it is positive to have male carer at nursery, I think it could be a great influence on the children, but the toilet arrangements just concern me. I will speak to the nursery again and see what they say.

Thanks everyone for your comments, really helpful, well all apart from Rita's which is just plain ridiculous.

OP posts:
EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 22/03/2011 23:16

Well I can see Rita's point tbh - she did use a shovel to make it though! What is it that concerns you about it?

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 22/03/2011 23:16

Toilet issue, not Rita's post, obviously Blush

RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:19

If you are happy with a male carer, what do you think is going to happen in the toilet that concerns you?

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:20

it simply does not feel right to have a man, who is a stranger to my daughter and not her main carer wiping her bottom, and being in the toilet with her on his own. Husband really not happy about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:21

Rita it is not that I think that anything will happen, I think you have completely misunderstood me, I just do not think it is right that a man should be wiping a little girls bottom.

OP posts:
Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:24

I also feel strongly that the nursery have put him in a very awkward and potentially dangerous situation. I have spoken to a number of people who work in nursery or primary education and all have said that a man would not be allowed to take a girl to the toilet on their own. What if that child became upset or made a false accusation, they guy would not have a leg to stand on.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:24

Why? Should men not be changing nappies either?

DarkSkies · 22/03/2011 23:25

He won't be a stranger though- he will be one f her carers.

Doesn't her father take her to the loo?

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:25

What in general Rita or just at a nursery?

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:27

Well when I have worked in nurseries with male staff, they have always changed nappies/clothes/taken children to the toilet. It would be unworkable to excuse men from doing the dirty work - female staff don't want to do all of it while the men get to play.

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:27

yes of course her Daddy takes her to the toilet and has changed her nappies since day one. But not just random men, why would you let any man take your daughter to a toilet?

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2011 23:28

If you are suspicious about him wiping your dd's bottom, why would you want him looking after her in the nursery full stop? You must surely be able to see that your concerns are odd.

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:28

but did they do it on their own Rita or did you have a 2 carer policy which is ofsted suggested!?

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:28

Toilets in nurseries tend to be quite open plan anyway.

RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:29

I have never worked anywhere with a 2 carer policy - if you had 2 carers changing nappies who would be watching the other children?

Original poster
alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:30

Ok I give up, I came on here to get some advice and instead have been accused of being weird odd and sexist. If all you ladies are quite happy to have any man seeing your daughters private parts, then good luck to you all. I am a Mummy that cares about the right of privacy.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:31

He's not just some random man though, he's her nursery carer.

My son goes to nursery and women see his genitals.

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2011 23:31

Ok then.