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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Male Carers at Nursery

289 replies

alison39 · 22/03/2011 22:59

Has anyone any experience of a male carer at nursery looking after their daughter? One has just started at my daughter's nursery and whilst i am absolutely fine with this, I am a little concerned about their policies over bathroom assistance, and the fact that he will be allowed to take girls to the toilet on his own, is this usual??? Would appreciate any thoughts, experience or comments.

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:56

OK, teach your 3 year old to wipe her own bum. Problem solved.

Skinit · 22/03/2011 23:56

but Bonzo....what about children who may accuse carers of some wrong? And it does happen.

LessNarkyPuffin · 22/03/2011 23:57

'so as long as my three year old can't complain its ok is it. but its acceptable for you to be able to object as you get older'

Yes. Because a child needs it's bottom wiping and has no hang ups about who does it. Although I'm sure you're working on that.

Skinit · 22/03/2011 23:57

OldLady well thats tough! There should be something in place. why shouldn't toddlers have the same protection as adults?

SueWhite · 22/03/2011 23:57

All this talk of doctors and OAPs is irrelevant, because it's not the law that a male nursery worker can't change a child's nappy. If that bothers you, don't use a nursery.

vintageteacups · 22/03/2011 23:57

An elderly woman with dementia is not really any different than a 3 yr old child.

RitaMorgan · 22/03/2011 23:58

Skinit - there aren't enough nursery staff to have two doing every nappy change, that's why! It's impractical and unnecessary.

Skinit · 22/03/2011 23:58

LessNarky It's not all abut hang ups! It's about protection. The same as when a doc examines you or I!

vintageteacups · 22/03/2011 23:58

To be honest, I felt a bit about the ladies (lovely as they were) wiping DS' bottom at preschool. I didn't like the fact that people he didn't know well (like me or dh) were wiping him.

Original poster

alison39 · 22/03/2011 23:59

Well thanks so much for comments, it has been a very interesting discussion, I will leave you all chatting.

OP posts:

Skinit · 22/03/2011 23:59

SueWhite I think the OP has hit on an important point....WHY are doctors protected from accusation and patients from abuse but not carers and toddlers!

Rita well there SHOULD be!

BonzoDooDah · 23/03/2011 00:00

Skinit the same applies - women and men could equally be perpetrators. Poeple are not worried about women cleaning male children. No-one thinks they need protecting / chaperoning. The issue has only arrisen because the carer is male.

Bed time.

RitaMorgan · 23/03/2011 00:00

Babies and toddlers don't need privacy, they need to be kept clean and well cared for. They don't care about gender.

bibbitybobbityhat · 23/03/2011 00:00

Will this be your first and last thread on the forum alison?

SueWhite · 23/03/2011 00:01

It's not really relevant to the discussion though, is it? If you do not like a service you are paying for, then pick another.

kat2504 · 23/03/2011 00:01

Yes an elderly woman is different. Even if she does have dementia, it is important to treat her as if she didn't. Dignity in old age and all that.
However, if a man was providing her care, for whatever reason, that doesn't make him a perv. He would most likely just be carrying out a part of his job.

You aren't bothered about protecting boy toddlers from women. obviously all child molesters are male then?

bullet234 · 23/03/2011 00:01

"Ok I give up, I came on here to get some advice and instead have been accused of being weird odd and sexist. If all you ladies are quite happy to have any man seeing your daughters private parts, then good luck to you all. I am a Mummy that cares about the right of privacy."

So I realise that I'm probably repeating loads of the same comments (have just read the first page) but surely that is no different from the female teachers and/or TAs seeing my son's private parts when they have to change him. Which doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Skinit · 23/03/2011 00:01

vintage there's a real fashion on MN to appear SOOOO relaxed about thes things and God help any poster who admits fear about abuse. They are JUMPED upon by all and sundry.

Its a very unhealthy way to go about business imo...esp on what is meant to be a parenting site.

RitaMorgan · 23/03/2011 00:03

Skinit, how can there be though? You'd have to employ extra staff as toilet chaperones and nursery fees would have to rise - parents wouldn't afford it.

Toddlers don't tend to make false allegations of abuse anyway, so it's not an issue.

Skinit · 23/03/2011 00:03

Bonzo yes...it has arisen due to the OPS fears about a man but nonetheless it has raised a very important failing imo.

Rita I suppose you also think children should be seen and not heard

LessNarkyPuffin · 23/03/2011 00:03

No it isn't. Why is it about 'protection'? Doctors do internal exams. Male nursery workers are doing the same job as female workers in the same conditions, but somehow their gender makes it inappropriate to you.

BonzoDooDah · 23/03/2011 00:04

No it's not about being "sooo relaxed" it's about whether you want to live your life in fear or to trust the precautions others have been paid to make on your behalf and enjoy life and relax.

Really ... bed ... [I must will not press refresh again.]

Skinit · 23/03/2011 00:05

Well who pays for the staff in a doctors surgery? We do. I think it's a big ommission.

3 and 4 year olds can say things which can throw suspicion on a carer. It happens.

And yes...nursery workers both male and female can abuse.

Original poster

alison39 · 23/03/2011 00:05

bibbity I wouldnt say that, although I am rather shocked by some comments. Skinit thank you, you have been genuine and caring.

Goodnight all.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 23/03/2011 00:06

Why, because I don't think they need privacy? They have no concept of shame (or at least they shouldn't) so they don't feel the need to hide their nakedness.

I would worry about a toddler who was ashamed of someone seeing them naked.

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