How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

I’m not entirely sure about all of the different elements and I feel for you, but I’d say the dress (sadly) is the easiest chunk of cash to lose. It’s just one day, don’t spend that amount on it. Good luck with it all.

You can’t afford this wedding. Would you lose much money if you postponed?

You can’t ask people for that level of financial contribution, it’s really crass.

I really don’t think you can ask people to attend a three day wedding with no formal catering. Similarly you can’t ask bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for their own outfits and not give them a gift.

I think you need to share what you will be spending your money on. I wonder if you need to rethink the style of wedding and venue entirely?

basically either do a tescos value wedding style or abort

Straight off the bat, ditch the videographer. You will never watch it.

What a circus! Three days? Even with allowances for different cultures are you getting married or having a wedding? Focus on the marriage and not the wedding. It is (normally!) one day.

Can you cut numbers of the bridal party, number of guests, number of days?

If not will the venue allow you to postpone and re-schedule. This may safeguard your deposit or some of it.

The accommodation and the venue are paid for and non refundable so the wedding needs to go ahead. It's a really rubbish situation and much more rubbish than I have let on. But we need to try and make this work so any suggestions that can make this work are welcome. I already feel really awful about this.

It all sounds bonkers to me, spending £14k never mind £23k that you don't have.
How far ahead is it?
Can't you cancel the whole lot and do something simple? The cottages and catering don't sound much fun regardless of cost. I'm sure most people would prefer a) not to have to give up 3 days, and b) just to be fed and not to be self catering. No-one expects wedding food to be good, it's just a formality.

Cut favours entirely.
ask for ‘no boxed gifts’ and that’s a strong hint for people to give you cash, which may help you pay for anything you have to take a loan out for.
one of your nights in cottages can be pizza night?
At the cottages - you could ask everyone to bring a bottle (write a very polite note about this)
ifyoy scrapped the catered meals you could get everything on cook and enlist people to help with it being cooked.
bridesmaids - I’d just tell them any long dress. Don’t make them match, if they’re your best friends they’ll understand but they need to be able to wear something they already own or will wear again.
there are apps you can get where you scan a QR code and the guests put all of their photos and videos into a folder for you so you can make a collage or video that way.
can the groomsman outfits be hired instead of bought?
entertainers - can any guests do any music playing or singing for you as your wedding present?
no big Wedding cake.
can you get a second hand dress?
I would probably take a loan and hope the cash gifts cover a lot of it

This is extremely rude it’s very common in many cultures to have more than one day of events when people are travelling far for a wedding it’s nice to turn it into a mini break

Another idea, what my friend did for hers, is organize a group meal at the pub locally the night before and everyone bought their own dinner

We have £15k. We just don't have anymore than that. Thank you to those who have suggested cuts I appreciate it

Don’t skimp on your bouquet - it’ll be in important photos.

Ditch wedding favours and gifts for bridesmaids - unless it’s mini Fabergé eggs, honestly, people will consider it tat and not even take it home.

Reduce the photographer - you’ve seen one photo, you’ve kinda seen them all. You aren’t framing a pic in the evening of people dancing, are you? You’ll look through all the photos when you first get them through, print the Actual Moment ones and basically never look at them again.

Ditch hair and make up for days there is no photographer!

Not if you can’t afford it. That is the reality here.

And actually this OP wants to cut back and see what she can get her guests or wedding party to pay for whilst still having a super expensive dress. Priorities.

I think you could ask your bridesmaids to help you galvanize the guests to fund the hen eg everyone chips in £30 for pizza and Prosecco it’s not normal for the bride to be funding the hen

Have you considered fake flowers for your bouquet? I did this and it was less than half the price of real ones, they looked amazing and I still have them in vases around the house 3 years later

Get rid of videographer, nice to have but not needed. Can you just have a photographer for the main day and ceremony? Ditto hair and make up. Wedding favours get rid! Recent wedding I went to they did a scratch card as a favour. Nice little treat but no tat!

Link to dress?

Is it a lehenga choli?

The MN hive mind might have a way of finding similar

Honestly call the venue and see if you can change the date for another year to give you time to save. As you will have to cater for all the days. And that’s a lot of money. I don’t know what family style means but I wouldn’t want to be preparing food at some one else’s wedding

@Sodontmindififallapart Its a Seema Gurjal dress!

Can you scrap colour scheme and ask the bridesmaids to wear whatever they feel good in?

I don't think you can ask bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.

People can provide their own food and drink in cottages.

Have you looked at supermarket platters of sandwiches for one of the days lunches?

Yes to the PP who suggested Cook. Get the big sharing multi serve ones

Can you swap out one of the remaining catered meals, that would be £1k+ saved and you'd still have one formal meal.

You can’t scrap paying for the two basic meals when you are asking guests to travel and pay for accommodation, nor can you ask bridesmaids to buy their own dresses if you want to specify the colour. They either wear something entirely of their own choosing or you pay.

You’re right to get rid of videography and favours, then look at photography, hair and make up and decorations.

You will remember how you feel on your wedding day above anything else, and you won’t feel good if you have guests who are not adequately catered for. They are an important part of making your wedding happy.