How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

I think bbq is a great idea. Are there bbqs on site? disposable ones are rubbish.

I think the actual wedding meal itself you probably need 'proper' catering with someone serving and cleaning up.

I think the best approach might be to contact your guests and see what the are up for - you might get some amazing offers

you said the understand what’s happened

Dress - cut to £500
Food - bbq one night or cook a veggie chilli and sides, or hire a fish.and chip van to visit and do a Costco run for drink, could also do costco sandwich order
Favours.- put sweets on the tables
Do own hair and makeup

Sorry if someone else has already posted this, but you can rent Seema Gurjal dresses:

https://byrotation.com/designers/seema-gujral?srsltid=AfmBOopDi2EoSCKo4C4lbvp6FLn9V4Cl5WL35lzX8jcDbJ9b0O-SHb8f

Because you’ve started multiple threads about this, and ignored all advice

You’re bent upon what you want to do, sod your guests

so many people posted on your s/c cottages thread; and the castle thread; now this 🤷🏼‍♀️

Dress - cut to £500
Food - bbq one night or cook a veggie chilli and sides, or hire a fish.and chip van to visit and do a Costco run for drink, could also do costco sandwich order
Favours.- put sweets on the tables
Do own hair and makeup

This popped up in Google

to hire

https://byrotation.com/designers/seema-gujral?srsltid=AfmBOoo0YEF-zoD-GUEiLqVF3cXXK8XvbqJvCeyeI94bUsEBAvA5msOW

I don’t think so I dont drink - and if I did it wouldn’t be Chardonnay

this is a public forum - plenty of people agree

On the flowers and decorations these can be dome by you and your family very cheaply. For my wedding I did my own bouquet by contacting a grower of my favourite flower. They sell the bulbs so were happy to send the flowers to me really cheaply. I think I paid 20 pounds for several hundred flowers. I went for a rustic look and used hexagonal jars for vases (my family all had to eat the same brand of sun dried tomatoes for about a year before) yards of voile (£1 a meter from a fabric shop on goldhawk road) and greenery from family gardens. I did supplement with supermarket flowers bought the day before.

Not only did it look amazing, it saved about £3000 and doing the set up with family and friends was fantastic fun and one of my favourite memories.

The venue and accommodation is non refundable, her dress is the thing she needs to compromise on.

And the photographer - why are they needed for 2 and half days - just use them for one days for the ceremony only.

Ah there we go

Have the cottages got dishwashers? Serving dishes and enough tableware?

I’d go back to the beginning.
start with what you’re already committed to and then add on the other non-negotiables until you hit the £15k.

cut the number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.

prioritise what you’ll need to have a great celebration. Personally, that’d be good, drink, entertainment. I wouldn’t cut flowers, photography or hair completely. But you’ve hopefully got time to negotiate prices.

take a breath and remind yourself that your guests want to celebrate with you. They don’t want you to be worrying about how you’ve overspent.

im sorry your wedding isn’t going to be as lavish as you originally planned. But with careful planning and prioritising, you can still have a wonderful occasion.

It's not called the "wedding industry " for nothing

I agree. Cut the dress. You can get a beautiful dress for way less than that and it's an easy saving straight off.

X

£4k on a dress is insane when that’s a 1/3rd of the budget

I get it’s tradition over the days but cutting back on certain things like bridemaids buying their own is wrong

photographer for the main wedding day is fine and everyone will be taking pictures

food sadly is the big cost - we’re you the poster who was renting the cottages and needed 20 meals or something like that on £3k

Cut one of the events?

Cut it down to one day, everyone can still stay for 3 days, one to prepare and one to relax afterwards. You only need to cater for one meal then, one outfit, one day of photography. Do your own makeup, no one will notice. Make sure all of your guests are aware your budget has been cut so they know not to expect everything to be paid for.

Why not curtail the whole thing and have just one day and use your budget on that so you can have the dress, pay for bridesmaids dresses, bouquets etc ? You won’t get a refund on the venue but you’ll save on everything else. It seems ridiculous to have to cover three days when you simply cant afford it.
I’d be pretty upset as a guest to make the effort to come to a wedding that everything was skimped on, as it will show and will be what people remember.

They aren't being kind @dandiesc but they are telling you what you need to hear. You just can't afford this extravagant plan. You need to scale everything back proportionally, which means £500 dress, and either wear a nice outfit you already have on other days, or a modest new outfit.

Food wise, I definitely think you could bring it down. Alcohol doesn't have to be so plentiful.

Wow Google is listening in!

@Bumblebeeforever great minds think alike.

Do the rental and you’ve only got to cut another 4k

Am I correct it is 3 days
Day before - evening meal & drinks
Wedding day - breakfast+ wedding food
Day after - breakfast, lunch, evening meal
Another breakfast ?

For breakfast could you have a box at each cottage - fruit, cereal, bread milk & butter
Wedding day catering sorted?
2 evening meals - for 1st night could you bring something pre made and heat up. A big pot curry & rice.
Last night order stuff in - could someone collect take away ? No mention of wedding just take aways into cottage. If stuck could ask contribution for this.
Lunch day 3 - bring supplies with you soup & sandwiches, pasta.
Alcohol BYO will they have time to stop at off license OR arrange kitty. With wedding day drinking people may not be interested in others.

Once you figure out cost of food, then see what left.
Next on my list would be wedding band/music, dress, hair dresser, bridesmaid dresses.
No way favors, no need bridesmaid gifts, make up optional, photographer assigned to guest

Thank you!!!

it does feel like deaf ears

Ditch the photographer entirely and do as someone previously suggested of a QR code or link for people to share their photos. At a push put out some disposable cameras for people to take photos. But look into the cost of developing them first.
I'd also look at how you cam reduce the food costs. You must feed people decently over the course of it but consider lots of options. Don't bother with favours. I imagine the bouquet can be made pretty and meaningful with some thought. This is one event and I get that it's important but don't let it put you in debt for the future. As a PP said- you will barely look back at the photos. The same with the dress or the bouquet. No one will remember, and a lot won't keep, the favours.
I do think it's unfair for bridesmaids and groomsmen to have to foot the bill of their outfits. If they hadn't been a major part they wouldn't have had that expense. A friend of mine looked around at a whole range of prices and then found some gorgeous evening style dresses in Monsoon at a much better price than traditional bridesmaid dresses. I appreciate that if there are particular cultural requirements that might not be suitable but hopefully there are options. Also don't get too hung up on your own dress. I don't know if you've tried it on yet but try on others. Wedding dresses are funny in that often brides will go for the exact opposite of what they had imagined, so approach it with an open mind and a tight budget and you might be pleasantly surprised. I also stated my budget subtly and they actually bent over backwards to try to meet that.
I hope you have a lovely day that is everything you want but without the added financial stress.