How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

Cancel everything and get married with just the two of you and two witnesses. What you are planning is completely ridiculous under the circumstances.

What cultures are involved? South Asian / Chinese / Irish / European / Africa cultures pay money to the bride and groom so could cover some of the smaller costs.

I’m Indian & I think:

1. Cutting bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits & giving them a colour is fine.
2. Consider an artificial bouquet.
3. £3k on a wedding dress is mad. I’m Indian and got a svarovski crystal dress made for me last year for £1k!
4. Cut the stag / hen.
5. Instead of cutting the photographer / videographer I would probably just limit their involvement to the main wedding ceremonies, reduce what they do, and ask them to focus on you as a couple and immediate family as that can reduce costs.
6. Don’t touch the food but don’t pay for any alcohol. That can be self-pay.

If I turned up to a three day wedding to find out I wasn't being properly fed and the bride was wearing a stupidly expensive dress, I would not be staying for the second day.

You don't need a stag/hen do. Reduce the amount of alcohol you are paying for. You don't need plural of bridesmaid and groomsmen. When we got married we had one bridesmaid and one best man. That was plenty. You don't need everyone to get hair and make up done. I just did me and my bridesmaid professionally. Video will spend most of the time on the shelf collecting dust, so can that. Get a friend to take a video. Get a family member to take photos and have a professional for the ceremony and some official shots only. I don't mean this critically but your wedding does seem quite extravagant to me.

What city will the wedding be in? I'm sure if you just look at caterers but don't mention it is a wedding, you can get a nice tapas/deli spread of things much cheaper, or ask a local restaurant who may be able to deliver a few treats of hot food. Have you looked at a food van type thing? Their minimum spend might be much cheaper. You could get pizza delivered from a pizza place for way less than £30 a head for example, and things like Krispy kreme trays are half price but still a nice treat for the night before our something and £20 for 24 atm. You could make the cottages B&B and provide a breakfast box in each one - just put croissants/pastries, nice bread, eggs, juice, fruit in, then guests can sort their own lunch. The night before or after in a local pub sounds a good idea too.

What city will the wedding be in? I'm sure if you just look at caterers but don't mention it is a wedding, you can get a nice tapas/deli spread of things much cheaper, or ask a local restaurant who may be able to deliver a few treats of hot food. Have you looked at a food van type thing? Their minimum spend might be much cheaper. You could get pizza delivered from a pizza place for way less than £30 a head for example, and things like Krispy kreme trays are half price but still a nice treat for the night before our something and £20 for 24 atm. You could make the cottages B&B and provide a breakfast box in each one - just put croissants/pastries, nice bread, eggs, juice, fruit in, then guests can sort their own lunch. The night before or after in a local pub sounds a good idea too.

Could you look into having a similar dress made for you, sometimes local seamstresses can do amazing things for much cheaper prices.

I think only you need a bouquet, the rest won't be missed. My dad took all our wedding photos for us, he's not a photographer but they look really great. He bought a remote for his camera so he could be in then too.

Food wise, I think you need one main catered meal, but that doesnt have to be fancy. You could as others suggest use supermarket buffet services or similar. Or you could order pizzas or similar.

I think you need to thank people who help out, but it doesn't need to be expensive, you could buy a nice box of chocolates or make something for them.

Dresses, there are loads of ways to get these fairly cheap online so I wouldn't worry about that. Don't bother with hair and make up at all for anyone, just help each other out - it might actually be nicer not to have a stranger coming in doing hair etc.

The main thing to hold onto is that you are getting married, the rest is all just extra.

@dandiesc registry office?

We had a thrifty (!) wedding which was lovely but without unnecessary extras.

No wedding cars - I took a taxi. No wedding favours (usually left behind). No special chair covers (?). Definitely no makeup artist to make me look not-like-me.

My MIL made my wedding dress and my Step Mum made bridesmaid dresses for my sisters. Wedding cakes from M&S, as was DH’s suit (and the best man’s). My wedding ring is lovely and also M&S.

I did have a proper bouquet, but from a local woman recommended by the venue.

The photographer came for the ceremony and official photos. Disposable cameras were for the rest of the time.

What I didn’t skimp on was food and drinks for the guests. Plenty of canapés, snacks and drinks while we had photos and then a huge buffet for more than the number of guests so no one missed out. The venue allowed you to bring your own wine etc and charged corkage which meant great wine for less than hotel prices.

My priorities were the result of being one of the last to marry, and having spent a lot of time hungry at other weddings!

Sorry if this has already been suggested, but could you hire the dress or something similar for the day instead of buying it? Or have a similar dress made instead perhaps? That could be a cheaper way of doing it. Good luck with it all, and hope all is ok with your parents.

ETA: I’ve just seen you’ve already looked at renting it.

In the run up to the day could you (and some family/friends) be making some dishes (and put em int he freezer) and borrow loads of people’s slow cookers and have an array of stuff in em? Chillis, curries, marry me chicken, pasta etc?

A friend of mine did a bake off competition where everyone brought a baked item (cakes, cupcakes etc) and put little voting cards on them. Winner gets a wee prize and you’ve got all ya cakes etc hehe

Get a food shop delivered morning of for fresh bread and booze?

When you are getting catering quotes, what are you asking for?

Are you mentioning the word wedding (£££) or are you asking for a family / entertaining meal or buffet??

You could just have a 2-course. Source your own appetisers to have with drinks. Get one course meal or buffet catered (prob the latter) and again provide your own sourced desserts.

I really don’t think you can ask the guests to contribute, I would ditch the dress, videographer and makeup artist

Some ideas:

• buy plain white iced cakes from M&S and scatter some flowers and leaves over them (you can pick daisies even for this)
• get Waitrose entertaining delivery to the cottage. They do large platters of buffet food and sides of salmon and I think that would work well for a buffet style feeding of 25 people. Get a different delivery each of the 3 days.
• buy red and white wine boxes and a crate of beer and put a few in each cottage and then that's it for drinks. People can then arrange to swap stuff or share if one cottage drinks less than another. I can't remember if it's Lidl or Aldi but one of them does a really decent cremant which you can use for toasts on the main day
• for bouquets you can get really pretty bridal dried flower ones which are way cheaper
• rather than presents for bridesmaids give them £50 towards the outfit
• get a few sets of boules and some other outdoor games so there's some stuff everyone can do together
• check 2nd hand wedding dress stores for your dream dress

Good luck !

We had a budget wedding.
no professional photographer - but asked guest to send us photos, and they are great!
definitely no videographer
Bridesmaids and groomsmen wore their own clothes- it looked amazing as they all suited their clothes and were happy

It sounds a lot and I feel for you but really if you can’t afford it there’s nothing worse than trying to cut costs, it’s unreasonable to expect people to fly in for a wedding and have limited food or drink and have to pay themselves, either do it all how you want or scale right back or postpone.

Suggestions could be:

• Fake flower bouquet? You could buy flowers make your own? Corsage for bridesmaids are often cheaper.
• Afternoon tea for the meal? Sandwiches and cakes for 25 would maybe be cheaper than a standard meal (M&S/Morrisons might do might do platters, or you could make your own)?
• Pizza might be cheaper to do than a meal- could just buy some fresh Asda ones for first night?
• Drinks- people pay for their own at a cash bar, and you could supply some wine and beer in the cottages- go to aldi/lidl for this?
• Favours - could you do a hamper for each cottage, with the things you are supplying anyway, so breakfast, drinks, food, sweets, and a little card/note to say thank you for coming?
• Music - make your own playlists and Bluetooth speaker?
• Dress- unfortunately you may have to find a different dress
• bridesmaid dresses - ask the bridesmaids to get there own dresses and just give a colour or reduce numbers (if you have more than one) and buy that dress.
• make up, hair, nails etc - do your own
• Photography - just for main day. Ask guests to capture photos for other days . Only do photos not the book, because you can make your own if you get the high res images and it will be cheaper.
• videographer- possibly ask guests to film little snippets of the day and then create your own (or use AI to help)?
• Entertainment - if you have kids attending, maybe get some outdoor games (from the works or somewhere), giant jenga? Bubbles, colouring books/pencils. Adults: cheap projector and possibly have a film night if weather is good, put popcorn in hamper? Fake movie ticket printed in hamper?
• Decorations: make your own?

These may or may not be helpful, but I’m sure whatever you do will be lovely.☺️

Spent 3K on my own wedding day and even think that was just the right amount looking back. No help from our parents, had to pay ourselves. A relative of mine took all the photos. Been married 19 years. Small wedding. If I had my own way it would have been a meal at a local restaurant with close family only after the registry office but I compromised on DH wanting a reception.

Have you thought about getting takeaways? That could work for evening meals.
breakfast hampers in the cottages for people to cook themselves, croissants and fruit, eggs sausages and plenty of bread butter and jam.
Waitrose sandwich platters for lunches and you could buy a variety of cakes.

Dont forget soft drinks too…bulk buy these.

As for alcohol, I’m not sure if I’ve missed when the wedding is but can you wait for one of the supermarkets to do a 25%off 6 bottles deal. You can get all the wine and fizz on the deal.
Beers and ciders can be bought on offer too. Just be on the look out for what’s on offer.

You will feel like a princess on your wedding day whatever you wear! Keep an eye out on vinted and eBay.

How many bridesmaids and groomsmen? Absolutely no gifts for them - that’s a waste of money. Dresses and suits, set a colour and let them pick and pay. They then have the option of wearing them again and getting something they like.

Is there anyone of the 25 people who is a budding photographer?

On a night out do you usually do your hair and make up? I bet you do and it’s always lovely, I’d consider not paying for someone to come and do that for you when you could do it yourself. Go to a beauty counter and get some ideas beforehand.

lastly, does everyone know that the budget has been cut? If so and they are your nearest and dearest they will just want to see you get married and be happy. They will not wish for you to be spending money you do not have.

For 25 people, you could easily make a main meal in advance. Get hold of a Costco card if you can. They do sandwich platters, big cakes and all sorts. And as others have said, unfortunately the dress needs to be a lot cheaper, else you get a loan.

In this financial climate I would strongly advise couples to use their savings for a future home or raising a family as spending thousands on a wedding is stupid.

No, it doesn't need to go ahead. You've fallen prey to the Sunk Cost Fallacy.

Add up in a spreadsheet how much you would save by completely abandoning your existing plans and instead going to the register office in clothes you already have with two friends or relatives as witnesses.

If you want to be married to your fiancé, what the wedding looks like isn't a dealbreaker. Disappointing, but not a dealbreaker.

I didn't have a make up artist. I just did my own make up.

Just don’t have a bouquet. When I see photos of a bride without them, I don’t notice. Whereas I notice if I see a rubbish/cheap bouquet.

I really don’t think you can ask guests to contribute too much, especially if they are flying in and buying outfits for three days. I also don’t think you can ask bridesmaids to buy their own dresses.

Cutting down on one of the days of the celebration seems the biggest way to save some money. I know you’ve paid for the venue, but you could let guests know that nothing is happening on that day and they can decide if they want to come and host themselves, or not/leave early.

My reccomendstion would be to go to reddit to one one of their dedicated weddign subreddits. Write down your budget, what you have already spent etc. They came give you targeted advice and be nicer abiut it in general.