How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

Your only other alternative is to get a £10k bank loan? Is that an option?

@Tiptopflipflop There are alot of vegetarians but I would love a hog roast. But the budget creeps up really quickly when things are £30pp. Thats £825 total for one meal that is probably not that much better or feel that different to cooked in the cottages. Thats the cheapest vender we could find was £31pp for a pizza stone baked. They all had minimum orders and £850 was the one with the smallest spend.

Can you just cut it down to a best man and one bridesmaid? We didnt have any bridesmaids! Also ditch favours, who actually wants them?

I don't think anyone will miss wedding favours. Bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts ?

OP I am guessing you are marrying into indian family,where it might be a possibility that uncles/ aunts might contribute to wedding costs or give generous cash gifts. My parents always contributed to our first cousin's weddings.Find south asian caterers and go for veggie if you have to provide meals.ask the cousins on grooms side to help with finding cheaper options for your dress/decor /caterers etc. People who are surprised at a 3day wedding must have no clue how these things go.Your original budget was low anyway but I am sure you will find a way. Forget the designer lehenga, go to Southall shops and get something for 500 quid or less. Vinted lehengas are around £300 but you can't trial so rather go to London, or If you're up north go to Manchester curry mile for a few dress shops or even Birmingham. Good luck.

max 25 people including us.

so your wedding will cost you approximately £1K per person?
And the guests are paying out on flights, accommodation, probably food and drink

I don't want to tell you how to spend your money, but you should consider very carefully whether you really want to do this.

You can’t not pay for bridesmaids and then wear a 4k dress - it’s obscene

25 guests doesn’t sound too bad

@SavageGarden23 counsins and aunts would but they're not invited so we're not expecting anything. 25 guests only.

You cannot be suggesting cutting down on food, asking bridesmaids to provide their own dresses and then spend nearly 3k out of a budget of 15k on your dress! Honestly that’s just rude and selfish. I do feel for you but you really should be putting your guests first.

You need to look first at cutting the budget of the dress, flowers, photographer, videographer and yes the catered food can be less that 3.5k for 25 people. But please provide at least one catered meal.

just to clarify we would be paying for food

Or a little less

cut the flowers and photos and hen do etc and borrow less and don’t pay 4k for a dress -£500
tops

You are looking to cut £8k from your budget and suggest ten potential savings. How much would those ten points add up to ? Do they together bring the costs within your budget?

Is that is correct ? So you are cutting costs for food and alcohol and asking your guests to contribute to these costs?

Bridesmaids to be pay for their dresses to a colour scheme set by you ? No gifts for the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

While budgeting £3k for your dream dress, one of many outfits ?

Id really encourage you to think about what you want to prioritise. I’d start by feeding and watering the guests. If you can’t afford to go that, they you can’t afford to invite them.

have you asked the venue whether you can postpone for a year to allow you to save up?

i ress add on hope you find a way forward, there is some seriously crazy thinking on display here. Maybe take a deep breath, step back and thing about what’s really important.

do you really want to be remembered as the couple who asked people had take time out of their busy lives and do their own cooking to watch you wear a £3k dress for a day ?

Curious about the cultures in this wedding - you saying its a 3 day event and with a Seema Gujral outfit indicates a big Indian wedding yet the small number of guests and lots of other details suggest completely otherwise! Might help if you say what the cultures are as we can then help prioritise. I'm Indian but married outside my culture, things like bridesmaids/groomsmen gifts aren't really a thing so I'd scrap that...

Wedding favours nobody really remembers and often get left on the table. They're pretty but that's about it.

What entertainers were you planning on having?

Are you going to acknowledge the many posts telling to cancel this @dandiesc ?

It’s one day(well 3 in this case) getting a bank loan for a wedding is a very stupid idea.

So if the cottages and venue are paid for, do you have £15k to spend, or do you have £15k total budget, some of which is already spent on the cottages and venue?

one catered meal for three courses came to £2500. It was the cheapest one.

Then a cheaper breakfast by the same company, buffet style on the same day was £1100. But only if both were bought.

So for those saying I need one catered meal it's going to set me back £2500. Is that really worth it?

And buffet versions of the dinner came to £2000 but we could do it all ourselves in the cottages

25 people for 3 days.

Food and wine - I reckon you can do this for a lot less than £4.5 (£3.7k + £850).

Working on 1.5 bottles of wine per person per day, that would be 4.5*25 = 110 ish. So if you aim for £10 per bottle that would be £1100. Sainsbury's do an excellent crement de Loire for fizz and it comes down to about £10.0 a bottle if they do their buy 6 get 25% off thing. If you've got a paid bar as well then frankly this will be massive overkill and you'd probably get away with only spending £750.

Food wise, do the cottages have big enough pans to be catering for 25? If not, you might be able to borrow catering sized pans from a local scout group. Or, don't do formal catering but do buy in some food. There's a place near me that will do a fish pie for 8 for £32 and 6 for £25. You'd only need to spend £115 if you could find something similar and that would be one course sorted, do you own vegetables, and buy in a catering sized dessert from Waitrose or m and s, so call it maybe £170 ish. I think you could do similar with e.g. a massive beef bourguignon made at home in advance. Then lunches with roast gammons done at home if you can manage them, cheese, salads etc. Breakfast, just buy bits in and let everyone cook in their own cottages. You'd probably still spend maybe £1k but it's a lot less money.

I think as long as there's plenty of food and wine no one will mind too much.

I mean I wouldn’t do it myself but I know plenty of people who have taken wedding loans out, and it might be a way to resolve things?

Depending on where you are, what about Waitrose Entertaining for one night? They do decent quality party food. Just need 5 to 7 days notice and they deliver. £200 sounds quite reasonable for the flowers. if you want bridesmaids gifts look on Etsy for ideas. You do need to ditch the dress though. You can do this with a bit of organising.

First of all never say the W word it puts thousands onto the cost. You can considerably cut down. Yes you can tie your own flowers for the bouquet I did mine and my daughters this way. My middle daughter only wanted fake flowers as she gets migraines with the smell these were surprisingly cheap. We also had an up and coming baker make the wedding cake so that was cheap too.

@Ophir no

I’ve never been on a Hen party where the brides costs weren’t covered by everyone else.

I don’t think gifts for bridesmaids or groomsmen will be missed. You could have a card with some nice words or something that would be far more meaningful than whatever other gifts.

It isn’t uncommon for a capped contribution for bridesmaids dresses etc. eg. £50

Agree no video.

You say no entertainment, I assume there’ll still be music?

I do think that other posters have a point OP about cancelling and cutting your losses before your financial situation gets any worse. I know it’s incredibly difficult as a situation but it really doesn’t sound like you can afford it.

Elope!

Can you earn the money back easily?
you could get a zero% credit card and do a balance transfer for some things like your dress and the bridesmaids dresses then pay it off over a year?