How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

How is that helpful?!

Of course it’s worth it - I’d defo go for that

feeding your guests is the priority not your dress, especially if they have travelled and can’t get out to supermarkets

I’ve looked at the designer dresses and seen equally stunning ones on Etsy for £200

Flowers for my wedding I went to Dunhelm and bought premade bridesmaids bouquets, were £4.99 but would probably be a tenner now, still cheaper though! They were white roses and ended up in the dressing up box for years, got repurposed many times for school dress up outfits!

I then bought some other flowers and made a corsage to wear on my wrist, same with my BM.

With your dress, my friend had a similar issue and her mother knew someone who could copy the dress for a fraction of the price. I know someone who did this with a v v expensive designer white wedding gown and saved thousands. Well I say "saved", she just wouldnt have been able to have the dress at all without it! She also sourced a lot of her supplies through family who lived in her culturally home country (in this case, India) as it was massively cheaper for them buy it and ship it over.

@FinallyHere we would pay for the food and some alcohol such as with evening meals and on the main wedding day.

£15k total budget

I am very open to doing Cook meals and Waitrose catering etc.

What nationality is the dress op?

I would cut absolutely everything else before I’d cut the food and drink. That is what will make it a fun time - not that you need alcohol, but you need good food, plenty of it and no need to clean up later. You need to get creative about everything else but I would be cautious about expecting people to cook and clean up each meal.

Cook meals are much nicer than Waitrose imo

My 2p....

Hair and makeup for second day only

I would 100% cut professional make up all together. You can honestly do it yourself. Keep the hair though.

I'd find an independent florist and get a few decent bouquets done its £100 max... MUA is about 1k you still save almost 1k

My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture.

This is NONSENSE sorry but you dont have the money for this. You invited all these people for THREE days - you have an obligation.
Check out wed2be or ebay you can get something AMAZING for 1k or just go to liberty Harvey nicks - 2k is saved right off the bat.

Imo if you want to do the bridesmaid thing you need to fully let them pick their own outfits.

A hundred pounds a person for catering? It's 25 people, they could just booked to go out for dinner at a local restaurant for half that, surely? Given I don't think that that includes wine.

Editing - I do agree you have to prioritise feeding everyone over the dress though.

Can you move the wedding to next year to give you time to save the extra? Or have guests already bought flights etc?

If you're on a budget the first thing to go has to be the dress. I'm really sorry, but you can't ask guests to chip in for costs and wear a dress that's thousands, you just can't.

Get rid of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, have one maid of honor and one best man. Ask them to wear something they already have or rent them something or say you can have £100 towards your outfit.

No alcohol except wine with dinner and fizz for toasts.

No videographer. Photographer for ceremony & close family pics only. See if they will do half a day.

No favours, they are pointless and guests hate them.

Please don't have a hog roast if there are vegetarians present. I've been to an event before and had to sit there for hours watching that poor deceased pig skewered right through on a scaffolding pole and rotating for hours over hot coals. To say that it was an unpleasant experience is an understatement. And I'm not even vegetarian.

When it comes to bouquets, we went to a lovely wedding a few years ago where the bridemaids just carried small bunches of flowers in the same colours as the bride's larger bunch, and that can be easily done with supermarket flowers and some ribbon.

Forget those silly favours, nobody cares unless they are sweets for children.

If the guests are aware of the sudden change in financial circumstances, surely you could ask them if they could club together in each cottage and buy their own alcohol for the majority of their stay.

Buy the dress or you will always regret it, and sell it again afterwards.

Ask the bridesmaids to wear whatever they like in the colour you have chosen, and groomsmen can wear their own suits. Surely most of them will have one anyway, and the best man can ask them all to club together and buy matching ties.

Can you rent dresses like this?
Or does it have any resale value?
I agree with going bring your own for the hen/stag night. We all just went out for East Asian food the night before ours.
We asked all our guests to bring cameras (this was 20 years ago so phone cameras weren't great but people who had good digital cameras brought them).
We decorated the venue ourselves with a few rolls of fabric from Green St Market.
I'm not clear about the food - would you be expecting to feed everyone for 3 days? Or just after the three? Two ceremonies?
We hired a jazz duo (cheaper than a larger ensemble!) and a friend played the piano for the service though two of the hymns were jazz too.
My dad paid for the wine (could you appeal to the family to take on a smaller expense each instead of gifts?).
We had one best woman and one best man just in nice clothes (I helped my best woman choose but she paid because she was keeping it, best man just wore a suit. If you want traditional clothing can you hire them?)
I think we used IKEA tea lights as table decorations!

Could you make your own flowers from paper?

Having hair and make up on a different day to the photographer feels like an odd choice you might regret.

They’re beautiful and a lot cost less than the one you’ve chosen!

I think the reason I am struggling with the dress so much is I just know thats what I will regret and wish I hadn't cut. When I tried it on I felt like a princess. None others in the store had that effect. It was THE one. I would have to sell it after if I bought it. So in my mind it would only cost £1.5k as I could sell it for that! I will consider not buying it and forgoing it. But I still need a dress

OP did you take out wedding insurance? Don’t suppose they’d cover pulling out though.

Get disposable cameras for everyone to take photos for
you

Set up an online photo book (eg. Photocircle ) so everyone can upload their photos to the same place - Boom, wedding album

Well she won’t need that dress if she’s running around doing food on the day

she will have to pay to get 25 people to the restaurant and back - what a nightmare - £100 sounds fine

I agree with poster up thread - it will just be miserable if people are hungry and thirsty - what a shit time - do not cut the food or drink budget - that is the heart of getting people together

cut flowers completely- your dress doesn’t look like it will need flowers - esp with jewellery etc

cut photos

borrow some money or cancel it

You can get rid of any of these (and personally, I don't see the point of expensive Sten dos-it can be difficult for many friends to manage the time and cost commitments), all that matters, and all you'll really think about years down the line, is the person you're marrying. Marriage not wedding is an overused phrase, but it's one for a reason! Cultural or religious elements which matter to you, or anything really personal that reflects your values-great. Perfectly matching bridesmaids outfits really don't matter, and if you ask your girls/women to just wear a blue dress they like, that's fine, and might prefer it anyway!

If I'd been expected to cook and contribute and the bride rocked up in a several thousand pounds dress id feel a bit cheesed off tbh

I assume the 3 day thing is non-negotiable.The obvious other solution is fewer guests...
I'm sorry but a £3k dress is unreasonable, not to mention £500 for other days. Can you rent a dress, or find one second-hand?
I think you do need a bouquet and a few flowers, but buy supermarket ones and arrange yourself.
You don't need a video, or favours, or lots of catered meals.
What are groomsmen? What do they do and why do you have to dress them? Just have two witnesses - one male, one female and they can wear a suit or nice dress of their own choice.
You honestly don't need professional hair and make up - this is a very new idea, and I'm sure you can do your own (professional make up often looks unnatural anyway).

Definitely prioritise feeding your guests. I have been to weddings where food was done on the cheap and it was very noticeable. As a guest you don't want to be left hungry or unsatisfied.

A three day affair is going to be very expensive.

I had that with a dress I tried just for the colour to see if it suited me and I fell in love. It cost three times my budget. I spent months trying to find it in my size second hand and couldnt.

I wore something else.

Sorry but you cant afford the dress, you just cant. So you need to find something else.

Can you cut one of the days? Better to have 2 days with lots of food then 3 with less.