Chatty thread for ND mumsnetters

[whiskeyarmadillo]

I thought I'd try and start a friendly chatty thread here on the ND board. All are welcome. Bring a cuppa.

I'm whiskeyaramadillo. I'm late 40s and AuDHD. I have a ND parent and two ND children - my third DC is NT ish. I work full time and live on the western edge of London but my heart is firmly in the countryside which is where I grew up. I have one black and white cat who is my sunshine although he is in my bad books today after bringing in a mouse.

Today (Sunday) I'm sorting out my very very messy house - again. Making sure homework is done and uniforms are clean. Putting endless pants and socks in drawers. If I'm lucky I'll get to lie on the sofa and continue reading 'Wintering' by Katherine May or watch a bit of a crappy fantasy movie with a giant mug of tea.

What is everyone up to today?

Hello @InertBird nice to see you 🙂

How was your break from MN? It’s ok to ramble whenever you want, sometimes we all need a ramble from time to time

Hi @JewelleryCat

I am a massive rambler😂Tbh I've been having a difficult time mentally/emotionally over the last few months and just not functioning anywhere near 'normally', and it's driving me nuts. I'm in therapy (with an autistic therapist) and sort of reached the point where I have to actually try to change, and it's scary and hard and I just don't feel like I have any energy for any of it, but what's the alternative (curling up in a ball doesn't seem like a realistic long term life strategy lol).

I'm with you about the heat, I'll be so glad when it cools down and we get some rain. Feel like moving to somewhere cold, these summers are getting brutal!

How are you doing?

Moving somewhere cold sounds fab. I watch someone called Cecilia Blomdahl on YouTube, she lives in Svalbard and her latest video was about 8c and right now, that sounds fabulous! It’s about 17/18c for me today but the weekend will be higher

I’m suffering heat wise as well, fan on all day and nearly all night but apart from that, I’m ok. Housework has taken a back burner until I feel able to cope with it

Oh I don’t know, curling in a ball sounds the perfect solution on days where it’s hard to cope lol and it’s good you’re in therapy to get some techniques to help but only do them when you feel able and have enough energy. If that’s next week, next month then that’s ok 🙂

Svalbard in the summer sounds perfect 😂Trying to do housework in this heat is awful and gardening? Forget about it! So my garden is looking brown and crispy and indoors it's dust bunnies 😭

They have something called Midnight Sun so for about 4 months I think it is, they are in complete daylight from morning until bedtime and they also have something called Polar Night when it’s complete darkness from morning until bedtime

Her videos are very interesting if you want to watch and she has a very cute dog!

@InertBird
Did we meet on this thread ?
I recognise your user name
I name change a lot , because I'm quite identifiable to anyone who knows me ,and knows my situation.
But yes I said up thread I get lonely to
And that things improved with ritalin
But having to change is scary..I've had counselling and CBT ..never with anyone who was nurodivergant though.
Sometimes it does just feel like to much

@JewelleryCat ..yes housework here ...it's either gone to the dogs ...or it's spotless ..no in-between with me ..and with 6 of us in the house most days , sometimes 7..it's amazing how quick it can go from spotless ,to gone to the dogs .
Despite the ritalin ..if anything else is happening to stress over ,I can't even start the housework..so a comment I took the wrong way ,I will obsess over all day ..and no housework gets done ...a dentist appointment..and no housework gets done ..a email or phone call regarding education and LEA .and no housework gets done ..and so on... despite ritalin.... despite it...
Ugh 😩
I feel I'm fighting a loosing battle with myself at the moment

Some days life just seems to hard to cope
And I find myself wishing I'd tried harder with antidepressants..but I'm not sure I'm depressed..I don't know what's wrong..
My moods exhaust me
I don't know if anyone knows anything about BPD
I'm already diagnosed with autism and ADHD ..but I don't feel that answers all the questions.but I read lots of people who have a diagnosis of BPD actually have autism.. especially women..
I don't know ..there's no going to the doctor's as there's no medication for it

If there is 6 or 7 people in the house, they can help you with the housework surely? Yes, stress isn’t good either. Can you do any techniques that can help calm you like breathing in for 4, out for 7?

They are all males ,and no they don't help .
I gave up asking, because it caused bad feelings and I was having to ask over and over for simple jobs to be done ,that by the time I'd asked so many times I might as well of done it myself.
Then I did something stupid
I asked one of them to take over cleaning the bathroom next to their bedroom,
And they said yes no problem,so I put that out of my mind and concentrated on other things..
By the time I thought to check..the limescale was horrendous,..it was tidy and bins empty..but omg the limescale..it took days of scrubbing and cleaning and bleaching..
It's just not worth it
I ask them to do a job ,I ask over and over ,they say yes no problem,but just don't do it

It's actually fine
I've made peace with it
The only person I was hurting was myself..it's easier to just accept responsibility for everything and get on and do it ,than have the stress of asking over and over again, keep getting told yes no problem,and still nothing.

Asking for help isn’t stupid. Doesn’t matter that they’re male, they should be helping and it sounds like they were halfway there with making sure bins were empty but please don’t pile everything on top of you because you’ll burnout

Another heatwave on the way
How many can we cope with ...
I'm moaning..but I utterly hate the cold .
In fact I think...I hate the freezing cold just slightly more than the boiling hot .
But everyone in my house can't tolerate anything higher than around 25 ISH .
So I'm then managing difficult people as well as the heat
Hows everyone else doing xx

Oh I like the cold, wouldn’t say love it lol but I can manage the cold a lot more than heat. I checked 3 weather websites for my area and it’ll peak on Thursday for me so I’m just holding on until then. Keep hydrated and by a fan