Chatty thread for ND mumsnetters

[whiskeyarmadillo]

I thought I'd try and start a friendly chatty thread here on the ND board. All are welcome. Bring a cuppa.

I'm whiskeyaramadillo. I'm late 40s and AuDHD. I have a ND parent and two ND children - my third DC is NT ish. I work full time and live on the western edge of London but my heart is firmly in the countryside which is where I grew up. I have one black and white cat who is my sunshine although he is in my bad books today after bringing in a mouse.

Today (Sunday) I'm sorting out my very very messy house - again. Making sure homework is done and uniforms are clean. Putting endless pants and socks in drawers. If I'm lucky I'll get to lie on the sofa and continue reading 'Wintering' by Katherine May or watch a bit of a crappy fantasy movie with a giant mug of tea.

What is everyone up to today?

@Newyearsparkle is there a group you can do to break your time up whether online or a meet up?

Not really,not that I can think of
What about you ,do you have plans for making some friends @JewelleryCat

No plans right now, I don’t think I’d be good as a friend or people might get frustrated with me but at least we have this thread and us two wouldn’t have met without it

Very true x

I think as well having a lack of extended family ,on my part ,doesn't help matters either .that makes me feel even more needy,so I pull back a lot on possible friendships, don't want to seem desperate

Yeah, I get that. Well I know I don’t know you and we’re only internet strangers but you don’t seem desperate to me

I work very hard at not coming across as so .
I've probably lost friendships because of it ,,If I'm always the first to text ,the first to ask if they want to meet up ,have coffee...then eventually I leave it longer to give them chance to invite me ,then it just fizzles out .. because I'm not chasing people, and I was always the one making plans , buying birthday presents, buying coffee ,and now I match the energy I receive .
If the friendship fizzles out ,it fizzles out ,I can't always be the one holding it together.mainly because it was damaging my self esteem always being the one to reach out first .
So I just stopped

Yes, I also understand that as well. I was the same, especially in my teens I think and then friendships fizzled out as well

I think people make friends through work and when they have children at toddler groups,but as the children grow up ,and grow apart sometimes the parents do as well ,plus when people change job they don't always have time to keep in touch with old colleagues and new ones .
And if you don't have kids or a job ,you don't even have chance to make friends before you lose them

That’s true. I don’t have kids or a job

Has that been for a long time now ,or just recently.???
I've not worked in 30 years now
It feels like the world moved on without me
I keep job hunting,and getting interviews,that I have to cancel.
I keep thinking I could make it work ,I could leave them for small amounts of time ..but then reality kicks in ,and I know I can't .
I'm literally so incredibly lonely.
This is a dreadful thing to say , because I truly love him ..
But my life stopped 30 years ago ,when my son was born

@Newyearsparkle its been a long time for me as well. I can’t work because of my health stuff

Does your son need care? Is that why you have to cancel? Maybe you could see if you could volunteer one day a week somewhere like a charity shop, just to get you out of the house

It's hard to explain
It's just a difficult situation.
My husband works,but always says he's greatful I'm at home with them , because otherwise hed have to give up his job and be home .
It's like walking a fine line ..one wrong move and boom

You don’t need to explain. It does sound difficult and how are you?

Up and down ,as per usual
Nice it's a bit cooler today here , every one is less snappy when it's cooler
How are you doing

I wish it was cooler here, I’m sick of the heat. I’ve been suffering with it but apart from that, I haven’t been too bad thanks

Houses are just not built to keep us cool 😎

They definitely aren’t here, especially older houses. Not sure about new builds

New build is what we have
100% boiling permanently in the summer
And bizarrely freezing in winter

Oh that isn’t good, I thought new builds were supposed to be the opposite. I know older houses trap heat which is good in winter, bad in summer

No idea why ours is like that .
The rooms seem to heat up like ovens

That really isn’t good. Poor insulation? Do you have things like fans to cool everyone down?

We do ,yes much cooler today

Yes, it’s cooler too but still need a fan indoors for a while