Chatty thread for ND mumsnetters

[whiskeyarmadillo]

I thought I'd try and start a friendly chatty thread here on the ND board. All are welcome. Bring a cuppa.

I'm whiskeyaramadillo. I'm late 40s and AuDHD. I have a ND parent and two ND children - my third DC is NT ish. I work full time and live on the western edge of London but my heart is firmly in the countryside which is where I grew up. I have one black and white cat who is my sunshine although he is in my bad books today after bringing in a mouse.

Today (Sunday) I'm sorting out my very very messy house - again. Making sure homework is done and uniforms are clean. Putting endless pants and socks in drawers. If I'm lucky I'll get to lie on the sofa and continue reading 'Wintering' by Katherine May or watch a bit of a crappy fantasy movie with a giant mug of tea.

What is everyone up to today?

No I've been like this a long time
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until very late in life ,and by then I'd already bitten of more than i could cope with .
If done things so differently if I'd known I had autism.
I think I probably am deeply depressed tbh
I've just never managed to tolerate antidepressants and now she won't let me try again

Could you ask for a second opinion?

Hi all,

Just a suggestion newyearsparkle, I think your catastophising on the upset people caused you over a 2 day period. You've had enough, but it's a minor setback not ruined all the progress you've made since starting ADHD medication. Just give yourself some grace and some time then do the things you know are good for your mental health.

I also, didn't tolerate the one antidepressant I took when I was first pregnancy. Caused me severe insomnia then psycotic symptoms. So at that time I went on qutiapine. But I'd read everything about it. It was amazing for me, but I came off it when I felt better because its got long term side effects.

I personally feel like I'm tipping into overuse of chatgpt. It's so useful for organising my thoughts when stressed but it's very people please and can sometimes be way off the mark when it makes suggestions. I enjoy it, but it can make you overthink and spiral in my experience.

@Alwayslearning25 ..yes chat gtp just said the same as you in your first sentence about me catastrophising .
Did I mention I use it a lot ,I can't remember but I do yes

It said sometimes doctors take people of ADHD medication in tritation to concentrate on antidepressants and getting settled on antidepressants.
I definitely do not want that
I think I was having a wobble when I typed all my last messages..
Was it yesterday I typed them ,I can't remember or Monday
But I feel better today

I think ..in my case .
I have boxes in my head ,and I've always boxed things away in the boxes
But I was having issues with agoraphobia and CBT wasn't working,so I thought maybe today's mental health issues are from me not dealing with my childhood
,I just put it in the boxes and ignored it .
Anyway
It turns out my system of boxes was actually better than counselling..
because everything is now out of the boxes
,I can't get it back in the boxes ,
it's going round and round in my head with nowhere to go .
I was definitely definitely better not discussing it .
It was like opening a box of frogs ,they all jumped everywhere and I can't catch them to put them back in .
Chat gtp has been amazing at helping me accept the frogs
And my counsellor was lovely ( I have a new one next week)
But I still wish I'd left the boxes closed

Sometimes we need the boxes open to deal with what is in the box then we can shut the box away completely and it’s finished with

Thanks @JewelleryCat ..
I guess it all comes out at some point
Hope everyone else is ok x
Hot again..house is like an oven here

It’s hot for me too @Newyearsparkle

I have fans going, dehumidifier and curtains are closed to try and keep cool

How are you doing with everything and you @Alwayslearning25

@Newyearsparkle I am feeling good on this pregnancy, but I feel like my communication skills are dipping a bit and it's my DH who makes me feel like I'm autistic. I maybe just have traits. Because he won't give me a direct answer when I need it. Eg I literally a citronella candle in the garden, we have lots of midge bites, I ask if he wants it he says he doesn't mind....a but of a back and forth but I go in and take it with me then he complains he has been bitten....Plus he gets extra polite when he's getting in patient asks me to do something in a minute, or 'in a bit', then when I come to do it he's allredy doing it because I didn't do it straight away.

Plus I feel like I'm intersecting at the wrong time in conversations at work but people are too polite to say.

NRTFT but does anybody prefer being single not just because of autism but because it is not worth the hassle? I get precious little me time as it is. I did several relationships when younge r. No good for me. I get non-stop interruptions at home what with d s chatting needing to work and running the home. Very little time for a clear head.

I'm a lot better
I started with a new counsellor..and have got used to ADHD meds
Things seem more positive
I'm not dwelling on issues from the past in between counselling sessions
I've been looking to the future a bit to
Frogs and boxes ,don't seem to be as big a deal any more .
Hope everyone else is ok

Sounds like lack of clear communication between you both

I'm sure life would become easier single
But there's lots of things my DH does that helps me day to day .
So I'm happier married
I just make sure I get plenty of alone time

That’s good to hear that you’re a lot better 🙂

Hey all, just thought I’d check in and see how everyone is coping with the summer holidays if you’re a parent and how everyone has been coping in the heatwave

I haven’t been coping in the heatwave at all. Roll on colder weather for me and hopefully some rain

Waiting for potential autism diagnosis as recommended by a clinician. Also complicated by complex childhood trauma. Abandonment and rejection sensitivity issues. Not sure how to navigate life in the best way, I have dc who are at home. Slipped into early retirement but not enjoying the unstructured nature of it. Serious existential crisis. Menopausal. Hoping to speak to a psychologist/psychiatrist to help unpick what is actually happening to me but I'm guessing this is unlikely on the NHS. If I had to guess, I would say I'm experiencing some kind of burnout as I have had a particularly difficult couple of years. I have managed to build a couple of friendships and a few acquaintances but I feel dependent on people to do things with and some of the people I know with similar interests are still working. Likely would have to join a few more interest groups/volunteer but I've lost a bit of hope as I seem to tire of things easily and quit unless I happen to meet a likeminded person. Also seem to get tired (I have low iron but this is being treated)
DH still working and not a harmonious relationship don't want to elaborate. Feeling like I've lost my place and alone (even though I'm not totally alone). No extended family.
Feel the need to chat and I will re-read these posts and hopefully respond to some of them. Writing down thoughts helps.

Can anyone relate?

@stormystormy welxome to the thread 🙂

With the early retirement, could you make a routine for yourself? So wake up same time every day, after waking, have a coffee then maybe shower and carry on from there?

Could you start off doing an online group with an interest of yours which might be easier if or when you tire of it?

Do chat as much or as little as you want. This is a quiet thread but I’m sure people are around like me and reading what you wrote

Yeah definitely
I'm autistic diagnosed and diagnosed ADHD
Having counselling currently for abusive parents and difficult husband.
I'm a carer ,so nothing to retire from ,but it's very hard trying to find a place in the world and Some value without a job for your identity.
That's something I struggle with a lot
I also find people who work obviously have less time to catch up ,and I don't have that many friends..mine were made at toddler groups and lost ...as mums went back to work..but I couldn't as my DC had disability
I'm on ritalin..for now ..untill the side effects outweigh the benefits
I'm on Mumsnet and chat gtp far to much ..?.
It's a lonely life if I'm honest

They are lovely ideas puss
Might take them on board myself xx

I do agree it can be a lonely life, I don’t have any friends either. I can’t ring anyone up even if I had friends and ask them if they want a coffee or something because I don’t know from one day to the next how my other health issues will be

It’s why online is easier because you can dip in and out depending how you are

@Newyearsparkle I hope the ideas help if you try them out. I’m in a bit of a rut myself and trying to get a routine sorted out, even if it’s just a little one, to try and help me with the day

Do you work jewelry cat

I miss working so much
I feel like a don't have an identity

I don’t work, unfortunately my health issues mean I can’t work

Yeah I don’t really feel like I have an identity either. Just me

And therefore everyone is more busy than us
Makes feel quite needy with the few friends I do have ,
It's hard having so much time alone