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Seriously. Why? Why would I do that?

219 replies

pagwatch · 16/03/2009 14:09

Sat night party. Mostly people I don't know so feeling a bit nervous. I manage to mangle each one of my childrens names ( when asked) and then , when introduced to someone, I shake their hand and give them my husbands name ... " hello I am Pagman" I said
Long silence. I said " actually I am not. I am pagwatch. I am not sure why I said that"

DH then shook their hand and said " and i Mr Pag and married to a woman who isn't quite sure who she is"

Why would I do that. I wasn't even drunk FFS. And then I had hours ahead with people who think I am too dim to get my own name right.
I apparently AM too dim to get my own name right.

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 16/03/2009 19:14

haha! Stuff like that is easily done. I remember my 30th birthday. I thought I was going for a drive and then a meal with dh, but he had arranged a surprise for me - all our friends waiting at the restaurant!

I walked in, they started cheering. I didn't realise who they were at first (I have a problem recognising people! Especially if I am not expecting them to be somewhere, iyswim) but dh guided me over and I realised what was happening! Anyway, one of them, let's call him Bob, said "Happy Birthday Hecate"

And I replied...

"happy birthday Bob."

Oh the shame.

MargotBeauregarde · 16/03/2009 20:16

Hecate, did you say it really sarcastically? as though he were a pushy waitron!!

HecatesTwopenceworth · 16/03/2009 20:26

no. I said it as though he had said "hello hecate" and I had replied "hello Bob."

A cheery, friendly greeting.

TigersEnglandChick · 16/03/2009 20:50

LOL Hecate - you just reminded me of my dad when it was his surprise 50th birthday ...
He'd been told he was going to a Christmas Party at his friend's social club (his birthday is in December, just to clarify ). We were all waiting for him to come in but his friend brought him thru the wrong door and he saw us all looking the other way! All we could hear was my dad, behind us, saying "Hold on - we're in the wrong place, these people are waiting for someone!"

TigersEnglandChick · 16/03/2009 20:50

LOL Hecate - you just reminded me of my dad when it was his surprise 50th birthday ...
He'd been told he was going to a Christmas Party at his friend's social club (his birthday is in December, just to clarify ). We were all waiting for him to come in but his friend brought him thru the wrong door and he saw us all looking the other way! All we could hear was my dad, behind us, saying "Hold on - we're in the wrong place, these people are waiting for someone!"

TigersEnglandChick · 16/03/2009 20:51

Sorry!
It went to preview so I re-posted ... What a thing to do on a 'daft things I've done' thread

SparklyGothKat · 16/03/2009 20:59

I went into the mother and baby room the other day at morrisons, thought I had locked the main door, went to the loo with door open so I could chat to Ds2 in buggy, stood up and another mum walked in I hadn't locked the door at all.. sooo embarrassing

edam · 16/03/2009 21:01

brilliant thread, love all of you who have confessed to moments of, um, entirely understandable confusion.

Like kitbit, I once told my boss 'love you' by mistake instead of 'bye'.

Once wittering in a job interview, was saying something about motivating the team (department was being 'restructured' i.e. people had been sacked). Realised I'd got a bit carried away and said, of course, you wouldn't want to go too far and get all American about it. As the words came out of my mouth, I suddenly wondered why I'd never asked whether the head honcho was actually American or Canadian...

She had a sense of humour, though. and I got the job! (Turned out she was from California.)

Darkmere · 16/03/2009 21:20

When I was a love struck teenager I was woken up from a day dream in class by a question from my (very scary and strict) A-level History teacher. With no idea what the question was I immediately paniced and shouted out the name of the last thing I had been thinking about- DP! I tried to gather my thoughts but just shouted his name out again even louder... I might have even shouted it a third time.

I was so very

morningpaper · 19/03/2009 20:39

lol @ these

I often pick up the phone and say "I'm just calling to say...." errrrrrrr no I'm NOT fecking idiot

moondog · 19/03/2009 20:50

God am wheezing like asthmatic elderly Siamese cat.
It was Thomcat who had the run in with the guy with an artificial larynx.

My (foreign) dbil went for some sort of marketing job to do with vacuums. Sister spent hours helping him to research the topic, talk about hoovers fluently and so on.

When he got there and started wittering about suction and whathaveyou they looked somewhat disconcerted and said
'These are er......industrial vacuums.' It was some sort of weird shit to do with physics and research,Gawd knows exactly what.

He still got the job and spent 10 very happy years with them.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 19/03/2009 20:55

MP - in my first job, I was a receptionist and mostly dealt with people over the phone. We didnt get a lot of people into the office.

One day, 2 people came in. I got them to sit down, then I stood there and asked "Who is calling please?"

the LOOK they gave me

I still go hot with shame over 15 years later!

GossipMonger · 19/03/2009 20:55

We used to have a restaurant and the 'sleb' Nick Hancock came in for dinner with some friends.

When he was leaving I went to get his coat and had a chat with him at the door. He was very nice and friendly and as he left he leaned towards me and so I kissed him!! ..........he looked so nonplussed and I realised he was trying to prise his coat out of my arms!!!!

charliesweb · 19/03/2009 21:01

I am meant to be preparing tomorrows lessons, but I can't see for the tears streaming down my face.

I was on playground duty recently and a child came up and called me by the TA's name. I said "I am not Mrs X I am Mrs Y" (another TA), realising my mistake I hurridly said "no I'm not I'm Mrs Z". The child was most amused at my inability to know who I was.

ABetaDad · 19/03/2009 21:03

pagwatch - I think you may be pregnant.

My wife used to say the most bizarre things when pregnant. She would often insert a sub clause, that had no logical flow, right in the middle of a completely unrelated sentence.

Not being sexist - she really did do this. It was quiet frightening at times.

DisasterArea · 19/03/2009 21:06

i was waiting at a bus stop once, a car drew up with someone i vaguely recognised driving. he yelled out 'want a lift' at which i jumped in the car and someone else jumped in the back. a few miles down the road i realised it wasn't the person i thought it was but a random stranger. the woman in the back was the one who had been offered a lift.
i asked to be dropped off at the next traffic lights.

moondog · 19/03/2009 21:07

L
M
A
O

Was it me though? If I see someone i know at a bustop and offer al ift, I do the same to whoever also waiting.

DisasterArea · 19/03/2009 21:11

felt like a mentalist for a long time.

Alambil · 19/03/2009 21:15

DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!

I am howling with laughter at these

PuppyMonkey · 19/03/2009 21:16

ROFL, DisasterArea..

We have a family joke here about DP who was once on the phone to his brother's horrid girlfriend. He was waiting for his bro to come downstairs and just passing the time of day with gf. So he for no reason at all said to her: "Ah, sprange then." This is not funny to anyone else but it makes me have tears of laughter run down my face.

DisasterArea · 19/03/2009 21:16

neither of them said anything either. why? wouldn't you?
am so glad i've never kissed my boss. would never be able to go back. ever.

Alambil · 19/03/2009 21:18

I'd have wondered who the hell you were...! Am amazed they never said anything!

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Blarbie · 19/03/2009 21:19

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm nearly crying laughing. I can just picture myself doing the same. I hope I don't or I might remember this and fall about on the floor wetting myself!!!!!!!!!!!

threestars · 19/03/2009 21:22

I used to work for an accessories company and went to the US to visit the stockists and explain to sales staff how the merchandise was designed/made etc. I'd usually just talk with 6-7 people and it was always really enjoyable.

BUT...at one v. exclusive department store, every single member of staff had been gathered together, from fashion to homewares, to hear my spiel. I went into Porky Pig mode and stammered and spluttered my way through. And at the very end, after any questions, said "thanks for listening. See you later. Oh, but I won't, because I'm going back to London now. So...see you later. Oh, err". DDDUUUUURRRR.

DH also had a problem with goodbyes. At the end of an interview he looked the interviewer straight in the eye, shook his hand, and said "hello".

Rhubarb · 19/03/2009 21:23

rofl at these!

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