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Original poster

Omg what do I do now?

617 replies

chocolatemuffin75 · 19/02/2026 22:04

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
CompanyOfThieves · 20/02/2026 19:23

RampantIvy · 20/02/2026 19:07

Did you meet him via OLD?

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No, it was an ad in a paper, many years ago. No photos involved!

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:25

chipsticksmammy · 20/02/2026 19:17

I can’t explain it but those type of earrings and piercings always look totally manky to me.

I know they are not but my brain just think they look filthy.

Earrings of any type on a guy is a no for me.

No idea why.

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Me too! I can’t explain it either.

OP posts:
Charltonstrek · 20/02/2026 19:31

Meet then judge

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

OP posts:
Rightsraptor · 20/02/2026 19:38

I was really shocked when I was doing OLD how many men lied about everything (their height, for instance) and sent pics of someone who was either himself 20 years previously or his son.

Tell him you've changed your mind & don't feel guilty.

Ferrissia3 · 20/02/2026 19:45

Butterytoastandtea · 20/02/2026 12:50

To be clear - if it wasn't blindingly obvious from the strand in this conversation to which I was responding, the "she" in question is the hypothetical "she" in the scenario put forward by the previous poster who said people wouldn't judge a woman a gold digger if her date had initially claimed to be extremely wealthy and then revealed he was not. I was saying that person in this hypothetical situation would be a gold digger in my eyes. The poster pointed out that the potential partner had been a liar, but to that I countered that almost every woman would have been able to overlook that in a reverse situation (pretended to be poor, revealed himself to actually be wealthy)

So, you can see I was not calling you a goldigger

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I think using a metaphor might be a step too far for some folks on this thread. For me, this conversation has been a really interesting demonstration of correlation between certain traits - it's been quite the eye opener!

MilanoCortina2026 · 20/02/2026 19:46

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

Block him now Muffin.

Terfarina · 20/02/2026 19:46

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

leave it - there's no point in further dialogue

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/02/2026 19:49

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 18:47

True but there has to be a level of sexual chemistry in a relationship, and I don’t feel I would have this with this man.

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That is true but I can't understand how you can know that from a photo. I don't think I've ever felt attracted to someone based on a photo. I guess everyone is different but I would think chemistry can only happen when eye contact is made and conversation begins to flow. I've never done OLD and it's probably just as well. I am out of touch but is speed dating still a thing? I think a few minutes chatting would be much easier than trying to make judgments based on a photo. I know in the past I've felt attracted to people that I met in person that were not conventionally attractive and i probably wouldn't have given a second look in a photo.

dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 20:06

'Thanks. Hope Glasto goes well this year'.

Block.

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 20:13

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

He was a lorry driver 😂 but this didn’t bother me, should it have?

OP posts:
Terfarina · 20/02/2026 20:13

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

I dumped a dude cos he took me to see a film I didn't like

goingtotown · 20/02/2026 20:26

dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 20:06

'Thanks. Hope Glasto goes well this year'.

Block.

No Glastonbury this year

Lilactimes · 20/02/2026 20:28

Once you get the ick - that is it - game over 😂

abitsadbuthappy · 20/02/2026 20:31

@Bikergran Hilarious and they wonder why they get nowhere!

SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 20:32

goingtotown · 20/02/2026 20:26

No Glastonbury this year

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That’ll be why Mr Hoop has time for OLD, then Grin

Babyijustdontgetit · 20/02/2026 20:34

SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 16:41

OP has already replied.

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I meant reply to his reply about the whiskers as seems rude to leave it!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/02/2026 20:43

Babyijustdontgetit · 20/02/2026 20:34

I meant reply to his reply about the whiskers as seems rude to leave it!

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I don't think it's rude.
She doesn't even know this man.

Moonandstarsandsun · 20/02/2026 20:52

Hahahaha just say family emergency

Laura95167 · 20/02/2026 20:52

A week on an app? Block him?

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 20:59

Well I have answered him, told him it would have been better if he had uploaded the most recent photo prior to messaging me, he has now changed his profile photo 🙄

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 21:12

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 20:59

Well I have answered him, told him it would have been better if he had uploaded the most recent photo prior to messaging me, he has now changed his profile photo 🙄

At least he has learned something.

You’ve saved a little trouble for the next girl, to quote Carrie Underwood 😀

mcmooberry · 20/02/2026 21:17

Now I was an early-ish adopter of internet dating and met my husband online nearly 20 years ago and you honestly have done the right thing not meeting him, it would just be a depressing waste of both of your times. One thing I learned is that, if you had a bad feeling about someone, it was generally right, they were never a happy surprise in real life.

ThatCyanCat · 20/02/2026 21:18

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 20:59

Well I have answered him, told him it would have been better if he had uploaded the most recent photo prior to messaging me, he has now changed his profile photo 🙄

To the newer one? Well, you can't say he didn't take the advice on board.