Omg what do I do now?

[chocolatemuffin75]

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

I would. I don’t need a bloke to pay my way, and I don’t like liars.

The thing is - people are saying just because he’s not attractive give him a chance anyway - do you realise how many times we as women lower our standards to still get treated like crap?

My initial thought was give him a chance.

Then I saw that he had a hoop earring.

Just NO!

People are nuts on here, why should @chocolatemuffin75 feel in any way obliged to meet this bloke who is a liar by omission, and she just doesn't fancy him. End of.

that isnt shallow, its having an opinion and not feeling coerced into meeting someone just because a bunch of online randoms say so. It's all too easy telling someone else to go on a date, when it isn't your time and your life.

Exactly, why should we??!?

Sometimes when they’re not your type but can still be the most beautiful person in the world and treat you well. Looks are definitely not everything

Well it’s like this, but I don’t like it.

They are definitely important.

Spanner in the works but my lovely DP (and gorgeous) looked absolutely not my type at all in pics. He literally did a catfish reverse. Really, really not photogenic and still isn’t bless him but damn he’s handsome. So handsome! I still don’t think you should meet him btw 🤣

I know but I believe you have to have some initial attraction.

You are allowed to not fancy someone! You won’t deserve to be called shallow. Him calling them whiskers would have given me the ick immediately! I’d reply though, just say ‘sorry not for me, good luck’!

OP has already replied.

Say you don't approve of beards except on Jesus, who of course is the main man in your life. That you find beards on other men almost blasphemous in their temerity and that the reason you split up with your last boyf was because he left off shaving for 5 whole days and you were actually thinking of getting an exorcist in to deal with him.

This will only backfire if he too is a Jesus freak.

Then they would make a great friend, but not anything else, for people who want to feel attraction to their partner. It’s very normal to want to be attracted to someone you’re dating/your partner. It’s kind of weird that people are trying to make out they don’t realise this. Even if it’s not important to you, you can’t have gone through life knowing that it often is to others. Obviously relationships deepen as you get to know a person, but at the start, physical attraction is usually part of it.

But you still need the initial spark. A hooped earring and a beard would not even be a glimmer of a spark for me or the OP. If there is no spark at all then it is a waste of time.

😂😂😂

It's a real shame that police sketches are done digitally these days OP, you have really missed out on your calling.

Ah thanks! 😀

Isn't that the fella who owns Glastonbury?

😂

@Dontlletmedownbruce

I'll bet if most men saw you no make up they'd run a mile too OP. Women are very good at portraying themselves as different to what they are. Fake tan, eye lashes, spanx, push up bras, hair dye. Not to mention filters. It's quite deceptive.

Wow, that was a pretty big sweeping generalisation! As well as a bit rude towards the OP!... And NO-one I know fits your description! Fake tan, spanx, push up bras, fake eylashes, hair dye etc.... Do you really know loads of women who do all this? 😆

Yes, maybe some women wear a bit of make up, and put colour on their hair, but it hardly changes most women!

.

you sounds like a misogynist man

What @Terfarina said ^

Can't help feeling that the surprising number of women on Mumsnet who think you should date someone you find deeply physically unattractive just because he seems vaguely pleasant could shed some light on why there are so many threads on here from women who can't bring themselves to fuck their husbands more than twice a year.

😂 Good point!

Or a woman who is desperately insecure about her own appearance.