Jewish Orthodox Mum Part II AMA

[mirah2]

I'm probably letting myself in for it, but here goes...

New AMA to mop up any questions that didn't get answered on the first (full) thread. If you're sure (after reading all of that thread) that your question wasn't answered, or have a new question, please post.

I probably won't have time to reply until after dinner and kids' bedtime.

I am NOT the OP of the original thread. My frame of reference - Modern Orthodox, British (living in UK), convert, mixed race heritage.

Fellow Orthodox Jews of Mumsnet - feel free to crowd share answers, but please remember:

• this is not the shul kiddush. This is a public internet forum anyone can read
• please be sensitive and think about how others (Jewish and not Jewish) might interpret what you say. We sometimes have different working definitions of words within our bubbles so be mindful of that.

Go forth and post!

I'm sorry if that's an MN etiquette breach.

The last thread ended up being a collective Q&A session involving several Orthodox Jewish posters (included me). I opened this thread to let the conversation continue. The OP of the last thread is welcome to pick up answering here alongside everyone else as well.

I made it clear at the start that I'm a different person to the first OP, therefore coming from a different perspective. I also tried to remind other Jewish posters to be sensitive to their audience (as that proved to be a problem in the first thread).

There were a few questions about conversion and racism which I specifically want to come back to as this is 'my area'.

Hope that helps. Still need to do bedtime.

Maybe I am wrong and @jewishorthomum can certainly say different - but I think the OP of the new thread was just responding to the outpouring of interest - and the fact that there were so many questions on the last thread, it seemed to us (I am including myself in here as a mum who has jumped in) that they would overwhelm the original OP - she does have a life out there to lead, and I don't think she was expecting the response. I have lost track of many, many of the questions (and I was away from my computer for a few hours) - so have just responded here and there where I have spotted something. I do think the new OP, seeing how many, many questions were not answered on the last thread, was trying to help (as am I).

Yes, this. Thanks

Why not let @jewishorthomum start Part 2?
Using the same thread title is misleading. 🙄

Hi, I'm back for a couple of minutes.
Thanks @mirah2 I'm more than okay with this new thread being started.

The last thread ended up with a few very helpful Orthodox Jews answering questions and the OP didn’t seem upset by it. I’m amazed we got to 40 pages with relatively little controversy!

@mirah2 thank you to you and the OP for doing this (and the others). I’m a liberal Jew and I’ve learned a lot. I married out and DH reminds me that Judaism isn’t a religion people know a lot about whereas I take my knowledge for granted.

@ClaudetteAndHerBaguette Regarding your beliefs, what do you mean by "There are too many undeniable truths"? Would you be able to give more detail on that?
I'm by nature a questioner. I like to understand everything about my religion. I'm happy to recommend books explaining these truths. But unless you are Jewish or intend to convert, please understand that Judaism isn't looking for new recruits.

Yes this!

It’s not very polite OP.

Who wants to bet on a documentary or reality programme on Jewish life hitting ch4 soon 🤔

@Wagtails Does your husband know you are doing this AMA?
He knows that I've been busy with it on MN but he hasn't read through it yet. He's been really busy these past few days. I intend to show him this evening. (He isn't on Mumsnet though)

So I had a fairly trivial question about running kit that got lost in the slight debate that was happening on the thread at the time - about what kit an orthodox woman might wear to run (given that a lot of running kit is very tight fitting to prevent chafe), what would be an acceptable head covering, whether a run on the Sabbath would be ok, and given the strictness of the rules, assuming you could go for a run, could you take water / gels etc with you? @jewishorthomum I think you said you loved running so that’s what made me wonder these things!

I am a bit of a running geek and I find it interesting to see how women of different cultures and religions navigate their sport within the bounds of what their culture/religion finds acceptable 😊

A positive one this time.. But I suppose then it wouldn't sell.

So I run for my daily exercise, nothing too intense. I wear my thin headscarf, long sleeve fitness tshirt, black sports leggings with a light weight skirt on top. There is a Orthodox Jewish Israeli women, mum of 6 I think. who is an athlete. She's run some incredible marathon. You can follow her on Instagram @ marathonmother.
Shabbos I don't run. I don't think working out is allowed on Shabbos. Its a day of rest.

What did you think of the Rachel Weisz film "disobedience"?

I used to know a Hasidic Jew approximately 25 years ago. We actually had an affair - and I am not Jewish, I am very firmly atheist.

So obviously I did not cover myself in glory here but in my defence I was very young I suppose

My question is ... how common do you think it is for Hasidic Jews to have affairs outside of the religion?

I am not Jewish (catholic but non practising) and find these threads fascinating. It’s probably one of the only ones I’ve ever read all the way through (the first one).

I don’t know any Jewish people but am learning lots. The original OP in particular was very good in explaining the traditions, dating etc and how she fits it in to “normal” life, (Don’t really mean normal but can’t think of another word at the moment).

Some aspects do sound difficult for women such as the wig wearing and covering up as that seems to be at mens request and to benefit them.

This may have been answered but do Jewish people have non Jewish friends in general, not work colleagues, but close friends? And if so how does that work with socialising like going out for meals or to each other’s houses? Or is it easier to socialise within your own community?

Even though I’ve RTFT there so much information that I forgotten if it’s been answered.🤭

Do you have to want to convert to discuss the beliefs of Judaism? I think since many children in the UK grow up with Christianity (even if they are not Christian) through school assemblies and so on then the general beliefs are more well known. I was just interested in what you meant.

Why are people not allowed to see your hair? Please?

What does Judaism say happens to you after death? Is there a belief in a soul? Heaven? Hell?

Would you ever consider becoming more or less orthodox than you are now, for example becoming a more liberal Jew or a chassidic Jew?

This happens a lot. Many people move directions, they might become chassidic, or stop being chassidic, or become modern Orthodox...

I'm pretty settled in what I am, I don't think I will change.

Also, for lots of people who marry young, changing is harder. Choices of schools, etc.

@Blip As a teen I wanted to be more liberal. As I matured I changed my mind and kept mostly with the orthodox religious levels that I was brought up with. I work together with many Chassidic Jews, of the most extreme, and no that sector is not for me either. But I do understand the views of most other sectors.

There is a saying in Judaism "7 facets to the Torah". This means that there are many ways to understand and adhere to the guidelines. Judaism isn't black & white, and each sector isn't right or wrong.

Thank you @jewishorthomum for your previous thread OP, and for your thoughtful and interesting responses.

My question was at the tail end of the old thread and so got missed I think. It is what is your honest opinion of Jews who marry out and don’t bring their families up in the Jewish religion?

And yes I do have skin in the game! I was brought up Jewish, though not especially religious, I attended synagogue a few times a year, also cheder, plus Passover at grandparents house etc. I’m now married to a non Jew and we’d both describe ourselves as atheists, and aren’t raising our children in any religion. Though I do plan to teach them about Judaism in a family/cultural sense - the fact my grandparents are originally from Poland, etc.

Am I “doing Hitler’s work for him” as my (very blunt and not particularly nice) grandmother once put it?

lol our shul has cakes, biscuits, crackers and herring/chummus, gefilta fish, fruit platters and more.