Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

@cabbagesandkingsandbeeswax Can I ask, as you seem familiar with SH. Is it rude to go to a Jewish shop? I remember having some really weird experiences as a child when I went into a bakery or even just a corner shop and so avoided those after. I'm curious is it that they just don't expect me there and are a bit taken back or it's generally just a bit rude for me to be there?

@OneHurtSpaggettio

Sorry , not buying it. None of what you say makes sense.

Why, when you googled, did you use the term 'goyim'? How did even know what it meant when you are so innocent? Why didn't you read the many links that came up that explained the context? Why did you go straight to an antisemitic website - clearly as Mumsnet has deleted your post as being antisemitic? Why did you then think it appropriate to quote an antisemitic webstie on a Jewish woman's thread?

Why do you think ultra orthodox Jews are NOT Israeli Jews? That's just weird and makes no sense It's not a natioanlity to be ultra orthodox. Many ultra orthodox Jews are Israeli nationals. Why would you then go and think 'Oh, I bet Zionism is against the Jewish religion'? What has zionism got to do at all with the film uorthodox?

Where did you get all those biblical quotes form then? What was the anti zionist website?

I thought to Google it because, as I said, it has bothered me for some time, and I knew that was a word used in the Talmud so was hoping for some good sources. I have read websites that show how some things in the Talmud are taken out of context, which put me at ease a bit, but not all things were explained. It bothers me, and I was looking for an answer outside of talking directly to a Rabbi, but it looks like I won’t get one, because you think I’ve got an agenda.

I am genuinely sorry if I caused offence. You can say it’s bullshit but I was genuinely asking. I have never studied Judaism (but have studied other faiths) and genuinely wanted to know.

I don’t want to derail the thread with having a back and forth, so I’ll leave it there.

@JeweyJew

If you don't believe men and women should mix socially isn't it at odds with your beliefs to join an overwhelmingly female discussion forum in order to converse with multiple women, like on this thread?

I'm not being goady, I'm interested as I asked a few times and haven't seen you acknowledge this but it seems like a choice of behaviour that isn't in line with the beliefs you claim to have re men and women mixing?

My friends call me a Goy as a joke 😂 as I said, I don’t want to continue the back and forth as it’s not fair on the OP.

@LoveOfLatkes I’m a non practicing Jew. I personally like this AMA as it gives people a chance to ask questions they wouldn’t get a chance to IRL.

I get why MN delete the comments but I’d like others to see the sort of thing we face. Even the questions on Israel- I appreciate why they are asked but I never see Muslims asked about Saudi Arabia yet I’m supposed to answer about Israel all the time!

My jewish friends often have "in jokes " with eachother about a personality trait or action being "so Jewish!"

What are the "in jokes" about characteristics of Orthodox Jewish women that you have amongst yourselves?

I'm not Jewish but there is a school of thought that says harmful posts should be taken down.

Say that 95% of readers read the rebuttal and understand, through the course of the debate, that it is antisemitic, and come away having learned something. But say that 5% read hateful posts and follow the links, decide there might be something in that, or that it's useful to debate these things, and then share them on.

This amplifies the hateful post - no matter how effective the rebuttal is, it can't latch onto the sharing onwards.

This is why it's better not to share harmful posts 'to draw attention to this nonsense' - a small number of those viewing them will feel inclined to agree and perhaps firm up their views, more than they would otherwise.

What makes content potentially harmful is not only the actual words in a single post. But also how it contributes to an emergent pattern of how people are talked about and which topics turn up, as a thread evolves - or even across a whole platform.

So true, @Twilightstarbright - we used to regularly have a Holocaust survivor come to school to give a talk and answer questions, and every year without fail he was asked about Israel. He'd been a child in Auschwitz, and yet he was challenged on this!

I remain curious as to what Orthodox women like to read. Can they curl up with a Margaret Atwood or Hilary Mantel? Are there genres which are too counter to their values and beliefs to read? I am curious about music too. Is world music popular, what do young people listen to? I can see how busy the thread is, so won't ask again if there is too much to answer!

@OneHurtSpaggettio I agree with @meshuggeneh I've never in my life heard those phrases and I grew up in Stamford Hill/Stoke Newington. I think you'd have to dig pretty deeply to come across that and the point of this thread is to educate those who are a bit clueless about othodoxy. You don't sound very clueless.

I wish someone would clarify what is meant by "improperly dressed women".

@OneHurtSpaggettio

You literally have a bunch of websites that explain to you the context. WIth same google query that you used. So you don't need to weep that you won't get an answer - it's all there at the click of a mouse. Just, you know, don't click on the antisemitic website, it's not hard.

What's NOT fair to the OP is to quote to her from an antisemitic website. If it was an innocent mistake (whcih I don't believe - you knew that Goyim is the plural of Goy and your non observant friends call you that - but whatever) then you owe the OP and all the other Jewish posters an apology.

.

It's been mentioned a few times on the thread by the OP and other posters, or at least what the rules are.

No trousers, hair covered, not above the elbow or knee, not under the collarbone (if i remember correctly -read all this last night on painkillers recovering from surgery) and tights/leggings.

But who decides this?

However, my experience with the Hasidic Jews was very, very negative and without having the ability to speak to them and understand why certain behaviours happen, it's impossible to know if their behaviour towards me is hatred or just their way of viewing things. As I said, I don't expect friendships with them, but their behaviour towards outsiders is at best unfriendly at worst hateful. I've never ever experienced anything like it since

One of my landlords was a Hasidic Jew and was perfectly decent and was also a very good landlord who fixed things promptly. You get good people and bad people in all walks of life, you can't judge whole swathes of people by the actions of a few.

Can I ask if you had a situation where you didn’t have food with you/no kosher options what would be acceptable to offer you? Fruit maybe? How about drinks? Potentially might come across this situation at work. What about kids offering to share snacks?

Isn't it just! Thank you all, this thread has been so enlightening. Perhaps we might all be more accepting and less quick to take offence if religions were more open. It's the insularity and uncertainty that divides.

And that's also a good reason why you shouldn't quote out of context. I said in every single post, there are assholes in every religion. The insular nature of the tiny Stamford Hill community means they often get grouped as one. Which is dangerous.

@TheShellBeach
Each community will have its own standards and traditions of what;s acceptable, usually determined by a Rabbi
My SIL is modern orthodox. She just wears something symbolic on her hair, not all covered. She usually wears skirts, knee length and below but sometimes wears baggy trousers with a long top (usually at home but also with male guests). Sleeves covering shoulders and at least half way towards elbow.
She's at the more liberal end of what would be considered acceptable., more strict streams would consider her immodest She grew up ultra-orthodox so she's considered the rebel of the family :)

I don't generally feel the need to explain my personal behaviour. For me it's more of a general explanation about Jewish thought and theology.

Still, as you insist, I don't see answering written questions to anonymous about a specific subject, in any way comparable to making small talk and chit chat with people in real life.

To me these questions are about clarification, and could have just as well been written by a man, woman or even chatgpt. My responses are not about fostering a relationship or friendship, but about answering the question that had been put forth. Add to that the fact that it's all in text and to anon strangers, and I don't really see an issue.

That's very different from talking face to face with someone, or even casual chatting in a chat room (who still remembers?), but with the aim of cultivating a relationship.

Uncut fruit and plain water are generally fine. Though even fruit can have issues if it's from Israel (where tithing and other laws apply).

Please could someone respond I think it got lost in a fast moving thread

Halacha (Jewish law) and culture. For example covering one's hair is halacha, whereas wig length or style is cultural. As a rule anything flamboyant or conspicuous which draw attention to the person is a no no.

I found this mikveh video really informative .