Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

My mother was Jewish. I study the Kabbalah and work with the Goddesses Mary Magdalene and Asherah. What are your views on Lilith being Adams first wife and do you see Mary Magdalene as a prostitute or as a divine in her own right?

@CC4712
So there are a lot of misconceptions in your post. Probably the fault of the media..

• I've heard a white sheet is placed between a married couple, with genital holes for intercourse. Is this correct or an urban myth?

This is the classical myth about Jews, along with the horns.
Nope total BS. The source for the myth comes from a garment that Jews wear called Titzit. Its a undershirt with strings off it. It has a large hole in the middle to put it on over the head. So the legend has it that someone saw the white titzit, with its large round hole, hanging on the washing line of his Jewish neighbour and assumed that it was used as sheet in between man and wife during intercourse.

Another Orthodox mum here.

Not really learnt much about Lilath in mainstream Jewish teachings. Mary Magdalene not at all, there would be little Jewish signficance to her. (wrong religion)

I'm being called in now to my appointment. I'll get to the other questions this evening.
@CC4712 I'll go through the other points later

Why do Jewish women wear wigs and only allow their husbands to see their real hair? Also why are wigs all of pretty much the same style?

Do orthodox couples go shopping together, for either food or furniture? I ask because I would always see groups of Jewish men shopping together at my local (recently closed) branch of IKEA, but never with their wives. I would associate home decor as traditionally a female pursuit, so I always wondered why it was the men browsing IKEA together and not with their families.

Best of luck at the appointment OP and thanks for clarifying that the white sheet is just an urban myth.

The whole menstrual blood taboo thing is hard for me to understand. It's the idea of ritual uncleanliness, right? So do you feel 'icky' and unclean when you're bleeding? Isn't it misogynistic to feel that women of childbearing age are unclean half the time?

What's the thing with making women sleep in a tent in the garden when menstruating as well, or is that just one sect?

I think you're right about the Netflix shows being negative, Shtisel is however really good and quite affectionate towards the orthodox community, I found it really eye opening and it relates specific orthodox situations to themes that affect people everywhere like tension between generations, compromise in long term relationships, choosing between a dream job and one that pays the bills etc.

Have you experienced antisemitism personally? What form did this take?

Thank you for the thread - super fascinating.

If you had something happen that upset you beyond measure and you were absolutely crying your eyes out would you break the rules during the time where you are not allowed physical contact and your husband hug you?

Why can't meat and dairy be mixed ?

1. No, complete rubbish.
2. Based on verse in torah not to cook kid in its mothers milk. Rabbis extended the prohibition to chicken as well. (darn).
3. We don't switch on lights. You can either buy appliances with shabbat settings (never managed to find them) or we stick magnets on top of the fridge to stop light turning on when it opens. Don't need it for oven, just use timer so it goes off before we are due to eat. Don't use dishwasher on shabbat. We have a hotplate called a plata that I use to keep food warm for shabbat as well. (I think only orthodox Jews use these)
4. Yes I wear a wig and a scarf at home. (slightly addicted to buying colourful scarves.... ). Most orthodox women wear a wig or scarf or other type of head covering (it says a lot about your religious grouping depending on type of covering).
5. yes to contraception, although some women will get permission from a Rabbi. Some forms are not ok, others are. A lot of women like using the mirena or hormonal pills so they don't get periods.
6. Never eaten pork or shellfish by accident. We are very careful about kashrut (wouldn't eat in non kosher home or restaurant) so unlikely to occur.
7. Yes, I did blood tests before marriage, and my kids did/will do them too.

What would happen if you accidentally got your two work surfaces mixed up? I know I'm a headless chicken half the time and it would likely happen to me!

Only a few times. I live in a place with very few Jews and even less orthodox Jews and as a woman I am not obviously Jewish. A few times with my husband we have had stupid things about gas chambers shouted at us.

In New York, I have had horrible things said directly to me.

I grew up in Stamford Hill and no bad experiences there, although it has happened to others.

Ask a rabbi, but depending on how hot the item was its not usually a massive issue.

Because its in the Torah I think you have to wait six hours between. I follow Moses and Zipporah on Instagram😃 they are modern Orthodox and quite fascinating. I also live in North London so have plenty of interactions with modern Orthodox through work and generally shopping. I am forever in delis. Why is Kosher food so expensive? I have friends who say if they didnt have to buy it they wouldnt. Same with restaurants.

i dont think the wigs all look the same. The younger women are much more fashionable with theirs. They must cost a fortune so you wouldnt want anything too out there. I dont think Ive ever seen a curly wig, I must admit.

i find the way women are supported post birth incredible. Although if you were very private it could be too much but the way they have apps so everyone locally can feed them and their families is just wonderful.

@CC4712
What is the reason for not mixing meat with diary?
The source is in the bible Exodus 23:19 "Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk". We understand this to mean that meat and dairy products should not be eaten or mixed together.
Do you have a Sabeth setting on your oven, dishwasher etc? Can you switch on lights on the Sabeth?
On Shabbos (Saturday) we do not use any electric devices or change the state of any electricals. So I don't use my phone, computer or any technology on Shabbos. I also don't turn lights, heating etc, on or off. The state it was in at the start of Shabbos is how it will stay until Saturday night.
Do you wear a wig?
Yes I wear a blond wig. Its amazingly natural and you would mistake it for my normal hair.
Are you allowed to use contraception?
Yes most sects of Judaism use contraception. I do know some chassidic sects don't approve of birth control. But the majority do. Although as I said above children and family life are a focal point of Jewish life. Children are seen as a blessing and many religious families have many kids.
Have you ever accidently eaten pork/shellfish etc?
Never. Pork doesn't tempt me. but shellfish I wouldn't mind to try. But I don't feel I'm missing out to much. Am I? Is seafood that good?
Prior to marrying, did you and your partner have blood tests to check for inherited blood conditions? Maybe this is just in the Ashkenazi population, but it was popular when I worked in a certain health clinic.
Yes, I'm Ashkenazi as is my husband. We both did a full genetic testing bloodwork.

This is an interesting thread. Who do you think Jesus is? Do you believe he is the Son of God? For me, as a Christian, the whole Old Testament points to Jesus being the fulfillment of the prophecies. This thread has mostly been about rules rather than faith and belief. I grant this may be a bit personal, so feel free to ignore. I know much more about Islam than Judaism, despite it being so close to Christianity.

This is fascinating, thank you so much . I hadn’t considered the need for blood tests. What would you have done if the blood test had shown concerns? And the same - what would you advise your children?

Jewish women cover their hair for a few reasons. The easiest to explain is inorder to tell other men that she's married and taken. Her hair and her beauty is reserved for marriage and her husband.
Nowadays you can get really beautiful and natural looking wigs.

This has happened and no we didn't touch. During my period my husband supports me in other ways. Sometime's its been really really hard. But its a hard rule and we do our best to keep it.

I don't quite understand the need for wigs, sorry.

Is it because hair is meant to be tempting for men? So covering it is a way to maintain modesty?
In that case, I understand headscarves.

But covering your hair with a wig doesn't achieve the same aim, does it, especially if your wig is natural-looking?

Another question about wigs. Would it be frowned upon in your religion to be a bit extravagant with your wigs? Like to have lots and wear a different one each day? Or to try a pink one for a while? I'm guessing so.

Thank you for this thread, OP.

So I did prearranged dating. (See previous post) and beforeweI went on my first date we did the testing and made sure all is compatible. We do it prior to avoid heartbreak. Had there been genetic incompatibility we wouldn't have dated.

Oh wow. Presumably (not a scientist) genetic incompatibility is likely to be more prevalent as time goes on? So what then? And to what degree?

How would you feel if your children do not wish to follow the teachings of Judaism when they are older?

Thanks for the fascinating thread!