Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

Do you have a seperate kosher kitchen?

How does it work having two kitchens? Is one for everything except dairy or is one for everything except meat? Or do you just have double of things in each kitchen?

oops pressed send by mistake.

Have you watched Unorthodox? What do you think of My Unorthodox Life?

Do you live in a jewish community?

If your ds's are circumcised is that due solely to your religion or would you have had them done regardless?
Not a pop just a genuine ask...

How do you feel treated within the community as a woman?

@cocksstrideintheevening Yes we do have a separate kitchen. This means we keep dairy and meaty food utensils separate. So we have 2 sinks, one to wash meaty related food items, and one for dairy related food items. We also have 2 sets of dishes, utensils and cutlery, one meaty and one dairy.

@Geneticsbunny We don't have 2 kitchens. I have 1 average sized kitchen. I put in 2 sinks and then I've designated 1 counter area for meaty and 1 countertop for dairy.

How do you feel about TV portrayals of Jewish people. I watched Rough Diamonds at the weekend and have also watched Shtisel and Unorthodox and loved them. I hope they aren't harmful to the community.

And also, do married couples really not share a bed? The TV shows two single beds separated by a dresser for a husband and wife.

I've watched the first episode of My Unorthodox Life and was really saddened by it. The show was created with the intent to portray orthodox jews in a negative light and this bias is clear in the contradictions that are evident throughout for eg. Julia claims girls can't ride bikes and partake in sports, however her daughter was awarded "Sport star of the week.."

He was circumcised as per the religion as a baby. I'm not sure if I would want him to have had one if not for this.

I live in a relatively large Jewish community and honestly if not for the talk from the media about how orthodox women are presumably negatively treated I wouldn't have known to view it as such.
In my community, which is quite intensely religious, (although not chassidic) women work, have careers, hobbies and social events. We are definitely not looked down upon in any way that I can think of.

Is there a specific situation you are referring to?

@OneRingToRuleThemAll I have watched some of the films you listed. They definitely do not portray is in the rosiest light and its really disappointing. I find them hard to watch because what I've scene the facts are either untrue or massively distorted.
I'm not sure what the agenda is but Netfilx is definitely intent and harming public views of orthodoxy.

Are you expected to have more children?

I live next to Stamford Hill and women in the orthodox community there are educated (sometimes more than the boys) and many work, but choosing to have only two children would be very unusual.

@OneRingToRuleThemAll About married peoples beds.
Judasim requires separate beds during a womens period inorder to prevent temptation for sex during that time.
Otherwise we totally share beds. Usually religious homes won't have a double bed in the master, rather 2 singles that can be put together and split according to the women's cycle.

@TheYearOfSmallThings Judaism holds massive importance to family life, children and the traditional family setup.
I wouldn't say having children is encouraged, rather we're brought up to see children as a blessing. Many really religious families will have kids in the double digits and see it as a blessing and privilege.

Despite what the media portrays, no one is forced, pressured or coerced in any way to have children, and if they are its seen as abuse.

Could I ask how you met your husband? How different would dating be like? Hope that's not offensive!

@loislovesstewie
Sure, not offensive at all. In my circles we do arranged dating. So a family friend knew my husband and told my mum a little about him, she like what she heard. So we went a date and the rest followed after.

Generally the amount of interaction between the sexes before marriage depends on religious levels. So a chassid couple would probably only date a couple of times before announcing an engagement.

Lovely thread. I'm West African and didn't encounter Jews directly until I lived in North London. For some reason I'm fascinated by Jews and Judaism. I even visited Israel alone a few years ago. Thanks for this AMA.

On the topic of dating, there is no premarital sex, and many don't have any physical contact at all during dating.

Do you also do this after having a baby? I had a super king-sized bed at one point and you get a much better night's sleep. Super king beds are hard to make, two singles sounds easier.

@StrawberriesSW1 Thanks for your message. I understand the fascination. Religious Jewish life can be quite different from mainstream. We do have lots of interesting practices and some of our values are very traditional but as a rule everything we do has a thought out reason and source so I thought AMA might be helpful in showing that.

Do you study the Kabbalah?

Thank you for the thread OP

• I've heard a white sheet is placed between a married couple, with genital holes for intercourse. Is this correct or an urban myth?
• What is the reason for not mixing meat with diary?
• Do you have a Sabeth setting on your oven, dishwasher etc? Can you switch on lights on the Sabeth?
• Do you wear a wig?
• Are you allowed to use contraception?
• Have you ever accidently eaten pork/shellfish etc?
• Prior to marrying, did you and your partner have blood tests to check for inherited blood conditions? Maybe this is just in the Ashkenazi population, but it was popular when I worked in a certain health clinic.

Sorry for all the questions. I always try to learn more about other cultures and religions.

@LongAway After a baby there is no physical contact until 2 weeks have passed, and there is no more bleeding. It can take upto 6 weeks.
Honestly at times I find the separation really hard and sometimes I see it as a relief. After birth I really didn't want to be touched with my leaky boobs and smelly pads 😉

@clairethewitch70 I don't study Kabbalah. But I have heard many thoughts on kabbalah and am familiar with much of it. In Jewish schools we spend a part of every day doing Jewish studies and we touched upon kabbalah too