To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

My dh was doing his version of the vacuuming today. It took 5 whole minutes!! He then told me I should hoover after him to get the edges, under furniture etc that he doesn't know how to get. I politely informed him that he could take the bulky head off and do it. His response, "I'm not a professional hooverer, you'll have to do it."

I cannot believe I have allowed him to touch a hoover when I am so skilled in this area. I of course hung my head in shame and set off for a 48 hour stint of grovelling. 🤣

So tell me. What professional skills have you all unknowingly acquired?

lighthearted he did manage to do it in the end.

DH has a highly technical job, so he wouldn't get confused about iPads. But the technical aspect of not cleaning cardboard by dishwashing it has passed him by.

Mine missed the entire unit 'K102: Cutlery, Crockery and Utensils; Care, cleaning and storage'. Unfortunately he's having to Qualify By Experience instead, which means he's missed K102a Scraping plates before administering water, K102b: Application of thermal energy to hydrosanitisation procedures (subheading Hot Water Really Helps) and the whole topic of Kitchen Tetris Is Not A Thing - Stacking Neatly in both cupboards and dishwashers is not a sign of weakness.

He's part way through his apprenticeship - I suspect he may have gained the necessary experience by 65.

Not a professional qualification but I am a qualified psychic, skilled in the art of finding missing things and knowing where anyone is at a given time.

Does this count?

I am a skilled Google operative. Apparently only I can ask it the question to get the answer required. Drives me insane.

I had forgotten that I am the sole professional in the finding things in the freezer department. The apprentice will give it a go, but frequently rearranges the drawer and declares that what they were in pursuit of was not in there, but the professional can locate it straight away even in the rearranged drawer. Needless to say, the apprentice does not have sufficient skill to be allowed to move up to the chest freezer.

Good grief @Ihavedogs definitely don't let the apprentice loose with the chest freezer. I have a system in mine - meat stacked on one side, veg and beige food on the other side, bread on top. DH goes in to find a joint of meat to cook at the weekend and the system goes completely to pot!
I have already accused him of strategic incompetence this afternoon after I asked him to fill the bird feeder without spilling the nuts all over the utility room. I only asked him as I was painting and he was playing on his phone at the time!

Professional mover of all the bloody bottles of stuff that get around the edge of the bath! I'm the only one who has had the training to put them back in the flipping cupboard!

It's automatic now if someone (children or husband) says I don't know how or I'm not very good at it, to reply 'sounds like you need the practice'.

I have a list on the fridge of what is in each drawer of the freezer below it. Items used crossed out, updated when added and completely re written monthly (by me).Totally visible when standing in front of the unit. Yet only I know where anything is, as he forgets to look at the list. Every time.

In his defence, he is at least post grad at noticing when it's needed to take bins out, drilling, driving and finding the quick pathways round IKEA. And making roast dinners.

I am the only person in my household with the BScEng(Chem) required to recognise that empty bottles of condiments do not actually belong in the fridge.

I also have a DipAdv(BioChem) in reviewing whether fridge leftovers have actually gone past the point of being edible, and a further MSc(MicroBio) qualification in actually removing them.

I also spend my life saying 'If only you had a machine in your hand that could answer that question for you' but no, apparently only my iPhone is capable of searching out information, whereas everyone else's is limited to browsing TikTok.

I also have BEd in bed making, it seems.

If only I had the excuse of such a complex curtain arrangement. Alas ours are just a bog standard pair per normal window and still DH insists only he can arrange the curtains properly.

I have the legendary skill of being able to load the dishwasher, not only so that things are in it, but so that they actually get cleaned too. I also have magical eyes that can find “lost” things, magical ears that can hear a toddler that wants something… I may be an actual wizard

I’m a finder of everything. Nobody has to look for anything in my house as only I know where they are

I removed 3 bottles of various men's shower gels and shampoos from around the bath this morning. I think they had been accumulating there for a while though, so I'm going to do a refresher course in the 'Spotting and Removal of Other People's Empty Toiletries in a Timely Manner' module.

My curtain-opening skills, however, are first rate.

I resigned my position because I appeared to be the only one with any skills at all and the workload was excessive. I was unaware that being able to find things or return things to the place they have always lived was a specialist skill. It's hard to unload the dishwasher when you don't know which cupboard the mugs have lived in for the last 5 years!

I'm the only person in my house who is qualified to remove empty cardboard toilet roll tubes from the bathroom and put them in the recycling bin.

But DH has a PhD in throwing them behind the toilet.

I too am blessed with the only functioning looking and seeing eyes.

I also was the only adult in the house who’d been entrusted with information of school start and finish time for the best part of 15 years.

I also have The Knowledge. Not the London cabbie sort, the where’s my/what time/who is/what food/when is/where is/how to/can you EVERYTHING sort.

I'm a qualified chef apparently 🤷‍♀️
Everyone in this house would starve to death if I went on strike!

@Mistressofnone it was a surprise to both of us! We both work full time, we both had the same amount of time to pack. He knew when we were setting off, I packed my clothes, I packed the kids stuff, we packed everything into the car and when we got there he said "I can't find my clothes". And I said where did you pack them, did we forget your bag? And he said oh I didn't pack them, didn't you pack me any? And I said why on earth would I do that??? It didn't occur to you to pack my clothes, so why would it occur to me to pack yours!

@Xiaoxiong , that is epic. What a foolpiece. At least DP can pack his own stuff. On the rare occasions , post my reminders , for i don't want to deal with the fall out , he forgets his razor or some such, I merely chortle when he has to spend extra cash on a new one. Separate bank accounts work well here.

@murasaki we have an equitable relationship in the main but every so often something like this happens - luckily he does learn from his mistakes, so it only ever happens once!!

Did you ask him why he thought you were a professional vacuum cleaner and where he thought you studied for that?
I'd have enjoyed seeing the squirm. 🤣

Same. He fails to recognise that mine was a superior institution that included remembering to actually turn the thing on, which his course either omitted or he skipped lectures that day.