To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

[Mrsweasleysclock]

My dh was doing his version of the vacuuming today. It took 5 whole minutes!! He then told me I should hoover after him to get the edges, under furniture etc that he doesn't know how to get. I politely informed him that he could take the bulky head off and do it. His response, "I'm not a professional hooverer, you'll have to do it."

I cannot believe I have allowed him to touch a hoover when I am so skilled in this area. I of course hung my head in shame and set off for a 48 hour stint of grovelling. 🤣

So tell me. What professional skills have you all unknowingly acquired?

lighthearted he did manage to do it in the end.

I have an NVQ in finding things in the hardware shop that dh had forgotten he needed. I also am an expert on where everyone's belongings are hiding.
Unfortunately I don't know how to stack the dishwasher, shame.

My PhD is in nutrition... Specifically Variance of ingredients and preparation methodology of Dunno and Whateveryoufancy.

I can’t believe nobody else on here has got the most prestigious qualification of all - a PhD in Loo Cleaning. Only I have achieved this is in my house, it’s such a tough one to pass.

I also have unique cat wrangling skills that means feeding, grooming, litter tray emptying, vomit mopping and vet visits can only be done by me.

I certainly don't have the hoovering qualification. It is strictly my DH's job, the hoover was his Christmas present and he gets this daft little grin when it swivels round corners. I'm never sure how to turn it on and definitely don't know how to charge it.

He insists I'm incapable of opening or closing curtains "properly" too and will rearrange them afterwards.

When I was at school a boy told our female art teacher that he wouldn't wash up his painting stuff because it was womens work. The response was epic!!!

I’m the only person in the house qualified enough to undertake a task so niche that no-one else even knew it needed doing, before I enlightened them, namely - cleaning the shower trap. If I ever suggest someone else might like to have a go, it’s as if I’ve asked them to perform open heart surgery.

Apparently only I I have the finesse, expertise and patience to dismantle the contraption, and fish about in it soaking up the murky water and disentangling the gunk-covered skeins of hair to be found within. <proud >

I am the only one in the household to have gained the prestigious and highly regarded Potterton Prize in Programming the Heating and Hot Water. I'm also a black belt in Sorting the Dirty Laundry into Loads and Working Out Which Washing Cycle To Use. I have an actual PhD too, but obviously that's much less important.

I can hand wash and air dry fingerless gloves after my homemade yogurt bottle, had an erruption of gargantuan proportions it was like Mt Vesuvius.......yogurt bomb, quite an outburst.......all over my gloves.

....and me.

I am wearing one glove now and its' friend is drying on a airer, next to an open window.

I'm pretty pleased with myself to be honest.

🤣😅

I may need to invest in a deep sea diving kit for next time.

I have a 1st class Honours in moving things when looking for something. I try to impart this knowledge to DP but it seems to be too complicated for him.

I have a Gold Star in dusting in our house, DH says he can never work out which is the right side of a duster. And i dont believe he has ever used an iron in his life. He now believes he is chief vaccuumer in our house as we have one of those robotic thingies (DH's idea) which he has to work by pressing the remote controller. In fairness though he's very handy around the house, I can't complain.

Well I thought I was an expert in Doing Laundry having done said laundry for approx 35 years.

But no. DH told me the other that I am putting too much laundry powder in the dispenser and not washing my whites on the correct setting.

Who knew? He is a genius.

When my grandson was born and we had him to stay my DH never changed his nappy.

Now he's older and grandad is his favourite he won't let anyone else but DH wipe his bum in our house - karma 😏

I have amazing eyesight that I can see the small print from the far side of the kitchen on the packet dh is holding so I can tell him how to heat or cook said product in the packet
or dh could just read it himself
Also I have memorised every single item in the fridge so I can find anything even if it is not staring me in the face and but especially when it's staring me I'm the face ok dh but he always finds the item I'm trying to hide. Why is that?

Aw shit...I did my doctorate on that but the title was slightly different...it ended with "....and swearing like a sailor"....I wonder if that will go against me now??

Hehe. Your DH is me. I'm the ONLY one who can open and close curtains correctly around here. You should see some of the disasters I've witnessed from both DH AND DD.
Total curtain carnage.

That could be plagiarism or (more likely) … solidarity

I'm everything that has been mentioned. Seriously, I'm the only one who does anything in the house 😳😫

My special skill is finishing a job after BlueBeard has wandered off halfway through.

This lovely lady will change your life. I love how she thinks this is one of the biggest challenges in life you'll ever face....perhaps you can get another qualification OP?

Oooops, here's the link:

Apparently I'm very good at weeing on the loo rim and on the floor. Quite an accomplishment for the female anatomy.
He refuses to believe he is the only one responsible.

Fuck me, I’m sooooo qualified and never knew it. I have diplomas in all of the above.😇😇

Am loving this thread and have realised I probably need to upskill in many areas.

DP won’t even let me hang the washing out as he says I don’t place the items correctly to achieve ‘maximum dryability’. Maybe there’s a course for that. 😂

I am however expert in knowing which items of clothing belong to which DC. Sometimes my girls argue because they think their sister has nicked an item of clothing when in fact it was just DP putting it in the wrong wardrobe.

DH kept telling me he couldn't put the bin out because he didn't know which day was bin day, and I kept telling him that bin day was Tuesday. Despite regularly informing him that Bin Day is Tuesday he couldn't retain that complex piece of information

How he got his First Class Honours degree and his PhD is anyone's guess.