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Original poster

To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?

216 replies

Mrsweasleysclock · 04/03/2023 17:19

My dh was doing his version of the vacuuming today. It took 5 whole minutes!! He then told me I should hoover after him to get the edges, under furniture etc that he doesn't know how to get. I politely informed him that he could take the bulky head off and do it. His response, "I'm not a professional hooverer, you'll have to do it."

I cannot believe I have allowed him to touch a hoover when I am so skilled in this area. I of course hung my head in shame and set off for a 48 hour stint of grovelling. 🤣

So tell me. What professional skills have you all unknowingly acquired?

lighthearted he did manage to do it in the end.

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 04/03/2023 22:18

I am a drainer jenga world champion, I can stack dishes higher than Blackpool Tower 🤣

Nat6999 · 04/03/2023 22:29

My late dp had a PhD in fridge arranging & worktop tidying. My fridge looked like the shelves in Waitrose, everything in rows with labels all pointing in the same direction & my worktops were immaculate, he put everything back with military precision.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 04/03/2023 22:36

I’m apparently the only person in the house who knows when it is time to change the sheets.

I am also the only person qualified to ask Google but I have retired from this job and we are now understaffed in that role while waiting for DH to figure it out.

I have failed to become properly certified in clairvoyance. I can’t answer correctly when DH asks ‘what’s this’ or ‘where should this go’ etc when I am in another room and cannot see what ‘this’ is.

WarningToTheCurious · 04/03/2023 22:39

I am a professional googler.

I say “you have a machine for that”.

If all else fails, I give them the side eye and send them a link.

letmegooglethat.com

Xiaoxiong · 04/03/2023 22:47

@666roses DH a few years ago came away on holiday to find that he had no clothes at all with him. He seemed to feel it should have been my responsibility to pack his clothes (or possibly remind him to pack his clothes), along with booking the holiday, organising all the transport, food and activities, and packing everything for the kids. He had to go to a local farm supply store to buy clothes as it was the only thing nearby, so for the rest of the holiday he looked like he was going to a young farmers convention. He has not done this since!!

Mistressofnone · 04/03/2023 23:02

@Xiaoxiong this is brilliant! Did you know he was going to face this situation and wanted him to learn a lesson, or was it a surprise to you too?

QueenOfHiraeth · 04/03/2023 23:05

I have an exhaustive knowledge of where everything goes in the house. DH will unload the dishwasher and leave a small collection of odd bits on the worktop with the excuse "I don't know where they go". We've had this kitchen for about 15 years so I would think a reasonable time to figure it out.
I am the only person in the house with the astounding ability to clean worktops without being told to and without leaving streaks and an almost supernatural ability to find things that are obviously invisible to others when right in front of them or exactly where they left them

tenbob · 04/03/2023 23:10

Triflenot · 04/03/2023 19:28

My husband and I did different courses in loading a dish washer.

Neither one of us recognise the other’s professional qualification.

same same

To have not realised I have a professional vacuuming qualification that I didn't know about?
thaegumathteth · 04/03/2023 23:29

Oh I have numerous

  1. General admin for birthdays / Christmas / events / holidays. Turns out dh didn't do the course in writing cards or buying presents or researching hotels or whatever.
  1. Recycling Refuse receptacle operative. I am the only person in this house able to sepaarate rubbish and put it in the correct bin.
  1. Kitchen plug cleaner. Apparently everyone else attended a course which said it was just fine to empty left over soup / cereal into the sink. I presume all the people on that course had someone on my course who were told how to clean it all out of the sink. It seems like there could be a better way of sorting this but hey Ho.
thaegumathteth · 04/03/2023 23:31

However I forgot to add that I am a constant source of disappointment in being unable to tell someone watching the same thing on TV as I am what is about to happen next.

rc22 · 05/03/2023 00:09

I have a qualification in advanced toilet flushing and unblocking which nobody else in this household appears to have even though it's rarely me who creates the situation where these skills are needed 😨

clairelip · 05/03/2023 01:11

rc22 · 05/03/2023 00:09

I have a qualification in advanced toilet flushing and unblocking which nobody else in this household appears to have even though it's rarely me who creates the situation where these skills are needed 😨

Amen to that, and replacement of toilet paper is beyond anyone's pay grade except me

Iris1976 · 05/03/2023 01:21

I have the superhuman ability of seeing mess and dirt and what chores need doing that's invisible to everyone else,I also have superhuman strength and take the cooker and fridge with me wherever I go as I'm always asked,what's for food? when are you doing food?

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 05/03/2023 01:50

I am the sole emptier of the kitchen compost caddy. No one else can carry out such a complex task, let alone have the sly cunning to recognise when it is (dare I even say the word)......full.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 05/03/2023 02:07

Professional toilet flusher with a doctorate in cleaning the undersides of the loo lod and seat.
Currently studying for a degree in cleaning the kitchen gas hob. Expecting to graduate this week.

Nedmund · 05/03/2023 02:30

Cleaning the kitchen, changing mop heads and mopping the floor. I've also found out I've got really rare eyes that help me see things on the floor that neither he nor the kids can see to put away. Yet when it's swept up into the 'bin pile' (or the pile of no respect, I call it) then suddenly their eyes are just like mine! So you might argue, perhaps, that they have better supervision because theirs aren't always switched on? Hmm

greenspaces4peace · 05/03/2023 03:26

oh can i join!!
i hold professional qualifications in bodily fluids clean up.
all pup accidents are covered up with a paper towel and "left" for me to clean :)
my skill set also includes fluids of all sorts (paint thinner to soup).
despite 1-1 training my dh does not have the wrist movement necessary to scoop anything from a flat surface, he just can't get the hang of that little flip action...no he does not have arthritis.

GreenPlaidShirt · 05/03/2023 04:28

UpUpAndAwol · 04/03/2023 17:32

I’m a professional dishwasher stackerer. It’s an art form where nobody else seems to be qualified to know how to stack the plates so they actually wash 🤔

Me too, it’s a rare skill

GreenPlaidShirt · 05/03/2023 04:32

thaegumathteth · 04/03/2023 23:29

Oh I have numerous

  1. General admin for birthdays / Christmas / events / holidays. Turns out dh didn't do the course in writing cards or buying presents or researching hotels or whatever.
  1. Recycling Refuse receptacle operative. I am the only person in this house able to sepaarate rubbish and put it in the correct bin.
  1. Kitchen plug cleaner. Apparently everyone else attended a course which said it was just fine to empty left over soup / cereal into the sink. I presume all the people on that course had someone on my course who were told how to clean it all out of the sink. It seems like there could be a better way of sorting this but hey Ho.

These too. I actually warned my children, that if anything happened to me, not to expect too much in terms of birthdays or Christmas, clean clothes, or any clothes or food . Unless Dad got a girlfriend, but even then, don’t get your hopes up.
I would also expect all pets to die from starvation

medianewbie · 05/03/2023 08:44

@BBlogdog thanks for the Magic Coffee Table link- I'm showing my teens (exH already gone).
I have a PhD in NHS & LEA wrangling (2 teens with 'oh, they don't look Autistic ' ASD, SEN etc.

PinedApple · 05/03/2023 10:37

PhD here in Bin Management. Our bin collection system is 'too complicated' to recall by others untrained in the art. Green bin every other Monday & Blue bin every other Thursday. When I ask dp to take the bin out he must confirm the colour with me first each time AND double check by yelling at the back door 'JUST the blue one, yeah?'

Teatime55 · 05/03/2023 11:26

We have a professor of bin management on my street (she’s in her 70s) so helpful to have such a qualified academic nearby.

Funkyslippers · 05/03/2023 11:29

I'm skilled in taking things back that my OH has bought to get a refund. Also complaining in restaurants about other people in my family's food and using vouchers in restaurants. It's far too embarrassing for OH to do but he's more than happy to get the benefits 😉

KeepingTheWaterOut · 05/03/2023 12:05

I did this amazing course from which I learned not to put cardboard in the dishwasher.
DH has not done this course.

WarningToTheCurious · 05/03/2023 12:45

KeepingTheWaterOut · 05/03/2023 12:05

I did this amazing course from which I learned not to put cardboard in the dishwasher.
DH has not done this course.

Or iPads.

vimeo.com/37942209