To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

[NameChangeLifeChange]

As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

I had a labiaplasty years ago (medical reasons, I’d never have had it otherwise - was in constant pain) . Had review with my wonderful GP a week post op - will never forget her ‘OMG, you’ve got beautiful labia, that’s incredible!’ …. oddest compliment I’ve ever had . I remember asking same GP if they’d do before and after shots, her face was an absolute picture .

I’d never seen a vulva in my life when I was younger other my own, I always thought mine must have been really really bad - realised as I got older mine was just at the far end of normal . I’ve never understood why in sex education you get so much teaching about male genitalia and about ovaries/womb but absolutely nothing about the vulva and what’s normal .

Wish I had 'The Labia Library' and 'The Great Wall of Vagina' back in the day. Go check them out online.

I think mine looks much nicer than a penis and testicles - boy those things are ugly 🤮I mean seriously our sex genitals are foul - this is why humans don’t look and like lights off 😂

I love this thread! Making me feel a bit more normal!

I can't bare to look at mine.
labia has started to sag (like everything else on me) Im too scared to run Incase they start flapping and clapping!
It's also gone quite sparse in hair department,I actually shaved what was left a few months ago in an attempt to try make it look better but it just ended up looking like a plucked chicken 😭

Love this so much, thank you OP and all the contributors. This should be in a sexual health lesson.

@Caramac555 I've got a "big flappy skin tag" hanging out of my bum hole. I often wonder if I was to tie a bit of string around it, would it drop off!

@Sally99 Flappy bum hole skin tags are often the result of a healed anal fissure, they're called sentinel tags . I am the proud owner of one 🙄

Sigh... Wish I had had a c section to be honest! I miss how sex used to feel pre kids.

Same girl. If I could go back I'd 100% have had all C sections, and I recommend anyone who asks to have a section. I'd rather take any risk that comes with a section than live with a mutilated vagina forever

Flappy bum hole skin tags

Now there is a collection of words you do not see together very often!

My oldest friend is childless and was the first (but sadly not the last) to piss herself during a drunken perimenopausal trampolining session.

Just saying - time wreaks it’s own havoc!

I’ve just been reading the ‘pelvic roar’ website as linked by a pp - very useful! And I have discovered that doing the plank is NOT recommended with a prolapse. So now thank god I have a genuine reason to get out of doing that in my yoga class!

In my 20s I had a boyfriend who suggested I get labioplasty. He went on to marry someone else and they have three children.

l’m now wondering what her fanny looks like.

Wow. Please email him to ask, making reference to his helpful suggestion. And let us know what he says. Bonus points for asking how his scrotum is looking these days

Just realised that's what I've got. I don't know how long it's been there, I've only really being looking closely this past year or so 😬😂

Pictures of lots of different vulvas via gynodiversity

My friend did actually try that once with dental floss. Yes sentinel skin tag is definitely the issue. Can they be got rid of?

On a serious note stress about this type of monstrosity actually hinders smear test attendance. Especially when there are health care providers who do comment on grooming etc, as evidenced by this thread

@Caramac555 I did ask about having it removed but the doctor said it's not very successful and can cause more problems. So me and my flappy bum hole skin tag have been cohabiting for a good few years now.

Thank you Vapey. I guess I'll have to consider squatters rights.

Thanks coconotgrove the HCA got me a prescription there and then from the GP for Vagifem and I subsequently went onto HRT. It's nice being a bit more juicy again, but my clitoris is still in hiding.

Someone unthread said use it or lose it which is just what the HCA said, but it's been years since I've had sex, and I can't picture a day in the future when I'll be having it again ☹️

All in the spirit of honesty that has had me laughing my socks off at this thread - thanks everyone!

@Afterfire a scrunchie ffs 😂😂😂😂

I’m here to add my contribution! Because my God, I needed this post. I have some real vagina self esteem issues 😂

One birth, which needed stitches from front to back and I do have a mild prolapse now. I also have those little polyps on the inside AND a really big skin tag on the edge of area, which I hate. I’m perimenopausal and that’s changed the colour of my vag, it’s lacking in luster and is darkening AND I am prone to light tearing. The whole thing upsets me regularly and whilst I’m still functioning fine down, it does hit on my self esteem. I used to feel quite sexy but I don’t much these days… but I think it’s because we don’t talk about enough so I feel abnormal.

I am so thankful for sharings like this.

I would go see gp or practice nurse re the squishy circle. The rest, i suspect, Dh is just glad it does its thing for him , regardless of the aesthetics.
Xx

Why is everyone saying that blokes don't care about the state of your undercarriage? They 100% do!!

@SurfingNovice how do you know?

There's nothing wrong with your vulva at all.
The only thing that is "wrong" is that we as women, don't ever take time to get to know what they actually look like. They get shrouded in mystery and we seem to be of the belief that they are neat and tidy and pink. Not the bizarre wrinkled, flappy reddish/pinkish/plumish things they really are.
As women, we need to get to know our vulvas. Our labia. And not be ashamed of our bodies in all their natural glory.
Let face it, men spend an awful lot of time looking at their penises, and are touching them every chance they get.