To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

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As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

I have a bubble that pops out that I panicked was a prolapse but it turned out it was scar tissue from an episiotomy!

Sometimes it's best not to look and just concentrate on what it feels like!

Mine also looks like a train wreck. I think the squishy circle you mean is the urethral meatus does it look a bit like this

images.app.goo.gl/rvBa2szA8ZWxezDn9

I think a lot of this is to do with the notion that's pushed on us that childbirth doesn't actually damage your vagina/vulva at all and it bounces right back. It's actually pretty normal for your genital area to look and be very different after something as physically traumatic as birth

Yes, this. After having something that weighs roughly half a stone go through a tiny hole, how could said tiny hole realistically go back to being the same?

This is the first thread in a long time that has made me laugh out loud.

Love the honesty. Great thread.

Me too 👍🤣

I haven't looked properly since I gave birth, am now thinking I might have to mentally prepare myself 😄

My vagina is also ugly as fuck.

I had 2 C sections and thank god really because my fanny looks absolutely appalling anyway.

I feel borderline embarrassed when my partner sees it but he's told me it's not as bad as I think 😂😂😂. He didn't say it was absolutely wonderful looking though 😂

This thread had made me decide to never look! I don't remember the last time I looked. I've had two babies come out now and not needed a stitch or had much more than a graze so maybe it was huge to begin with!

Get a pen and mirror, write a letter W either side. Now its shouting WOW I look amazing!

@Butteryflakycrust83 dying here 😂

I never look at mine for this reason.

Sounds pretty normal to me - but make an appointment with your GP if you’re worried.

This might be the time to prepare you for the ball sacks you’ll see on men as they get older - DH is almost 60, it’s been an eye-opener to say the least 😂

Frankly, I don't think anyone's genitals look gorgeous. They just don't. They're somewhat appealing in the moment when you're into it and with someone you fancy but very few people would look at a photo of an erect penis or a vulva and say 'wow, beautiful!'

DH is a doc and did a rotation on obs and gynae, as he said to me: there is absolutely no such thing as a 'normal/average' vulva. They're all different. Men like them because they feel nice when they put their penis inside and move it around. Function over aesthetics!

Mine looks like a scrunchie. 😆

And I have horrendous persistent piles as well so the whole area is just …. well, like a load of little puffy bits of skin.

I had a very bad episiotomy with my dd 19 years ago and things haven’t been the same since. But that’s okay, none of me is!

It still works. That’s the main thing.

Have you seen how ugly testicles are!

I always think women have definitely trumped men in that area as were all neatly tucked away whilst they’re flapping about all day every day.

I was horrified when I saw mine after birth (don’t know why I looked so soon) but different positions make it look worse.

If you’re sat down bending over it looks worse that if you’re lying down with your legs open like a smear.

I actually went as far as taking photos in different positions and avoided the worst ones when I met my new partner.

As a PP said men genuinely don’t care though.
It’s just women feeling insecure about our bodies.

I don’t think ever in the history of sex has any men taken off a so end underwear and then decided not to have sex because it was too ugly lol.

After my DC was born my fanny looked absolutely fine. It did however, make these loud sucking noises when I walked.

Has anyone else lost their perineum? As in, the vagina keeps going until it reaches the wall of the anus.

Tbf all those that say childbirth doesn’t damage your vagina/vulva and that it will go back to pre baby are obviously the very select few that has been true for, I wish women talked about it more.

mine defo looks different, I was horrified the first time I looked, there are also 3 ugly purple jagged scars from my episiotomy and tearing, I almost cried 😂

I've had 3 vaginal births and was also utterly traumatised when I decided to have a little look-see after baby number 1. I didn't look after the other 2 - too awful to contemplate.

BUT my youngest is 7 now and, despite the passage of years, things have actually tightened up and smoothed down a bit. I think the area heals and recovers really slowly as the body is concentrating on lots of other things around that time. So it will definitely look a lot different in the first days, weeks and months after the birth - quite understandably as it has just had a pretty traumatic experience too!

But it might look a bit more familiar after a bit more time has passed. It will never be the same as before, but that's ok 🙂 And as PP said, your DH is going to be just as keen on it no matter what

Haha OP. I could have written this... between births of 1 & 2 I had some bleeding that I couldn't determine the source of. Was very very pregnant and didn't want DH 'examining' me so instead he setup a mirror for me and had a look myself.

It was bloody awful!!! I mean I can't say I looked that often pre babies but it was definitely a lot neater.

Anyway had 2 more VBs since then and I'm not looking ever again!

The things noone tells you...

I literally laughed out loud at this!

I have this!! Is it normal? I have been worried for ages that its some sort of prolapse but I have no pain or symptoms at all. Whenever I Google it just says prolapse but it is exactly like the picture!

I looked once, that was enough.

@Jmaho I hope so because I have too!

To those of you who are worried about what it looks like after childbirth, I hate to be the harbinger of doom but menopause does all sorts of weird and wonderful things to your nether regions as well. So much look forward to. But as someone pointed out that thread, men's genitalia are hardly a thing of beauty in most cases. It's what they're attached to that you are attracted to.

Mine looked like a mangled kebab after dc2. She's 12 now and it has definitely improved over time. The grey pubes set it off nicely now 🙄

@Bananalanacake yes, mone was the exact same after 4 vaginal births but I had surgery to repair it x