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Original poster

To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

351 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 15/08/2022 09:24

As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

OP posts:

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 16/08/2022 23:14

Female GP, laughed when she saw my elderly fanny and said "oh bless you....you don't see many ungroomed ones these days"😮
Am I supposed to comb it?

SmokedGlass · 16/08/2022 23:18

Absolutely hilarious post, made my evening

I’m ancient now….I am never going to take a peek at mine again, god knows what I might find hidden away behind the cobwebs

astorsback · 16/08/2022 23:23

2018SoFarSoGreat · 15/08/2022 22:20

Now I really want to (don't want to) take a look, but thankfully I'm at work.

It's the post menopausal hair loss that gets me. Nobody EVER mentioned that this happens, and I fully expected to become grizzly gray or white, but not to have... I don't know - a monk's tonsure? There remains hair in all of the inconvenient bits, and on the sides, but there is a large swath of totally bald - shiny bald! - skin in the middle of my mons - where it used to be copiously curly. What? How did that happen? I seriously spent many, many long minutes contemplating what might have rubbed the hair off.

Blad. Bald and probably horribly ugly. I'm a little sorry that I lost all of that weight and can now see it all again. Only consolation is that the thing works for all the things it should, so I guess I'll keep it and be grateful.

I'm sorry but I'm laughing snorting out loud at this. 😆

I was just about to ask, what happens to it after menopause? Is baldness the sum total of the decay, or does it get worse?

LilacSky95 · 16/08/2022 23:30

@Notlosinganyweight it was done on the NHS x

WorryMcGee · 16/08/2022 23:32

Howling at this thread whilst also feeling less alone…I had a c section 17 weeks ago today. Piles are still there, I doubt they’ll go if they haven’t already. I swear it looks different down there even though nothing came out of it. Thank god the meds for PND have killed any libido I might have had before I had a look because what with that and my tummy I don’t think I’ll be having sex ever, ever again.

BEAM123 · 16/08/2022 23:35

Tallisker · 16/08/2022 22:03

God I daren't look at mine. Ancient old crone that I am. Joked when I went for a smear that it would be full of cobwebs as nobody had been in there for years. Found I had vaginal atrophy and didn't even know. Couldn't get the speculum in there and drew blood.

And my clitoris seems to have disappeared. Is this normal after menopause? All those jokes about men not being able to find it are backfiring a bit nowadays

It's a menopause thing ...along with vaginal atrophy you can get clitoral atrophy. You need to oestrogen cream, and also... use it or lose it. I think that vulval lichen condition can also make things disappear too...

99redballoonsgobyy · 16/08/2022 23:48

I hate looking at myself down there because I think it is so bloody ugly no idea why men want to go anywhere near one, I'd definitely be gay if I was a man! And I don't mean to offend any lesbians out there but I just don't get it! I couldn't go anywhere near one🤮.mind you I am a very squeamish person. Vulvas are bloody ugly.

Dummycrusher · 16/08/2022 23:54

Garfieldonthebox · 16/08/2022 20:43

@Dummycrusher Is sex normal/the same for you? I’m scared what will happen 🙈

Oh god, yes the clitoris thing! I had stitches and ever since then, everything feels weird and as though it’s moved around/disappeared 🤷🏻‍♀️Anyone else

God, op, I’m so happy you wrote this thread as I’ve kept all this to myself and honestly felt like somethings seriously wrong with me

Yup, sex is fine. Different, but fine. My g spot is in a different place which has worked out quite well!

Luminovag · 17/08/2022 00:02

I looked at mine tonight, pre seeing this thread, and my insides are illuminous pink! I wouldn't mind but I'm quite dark skinned so the contrast was like What The Fck?! It reminded me of those black liquorice round sweets with the pink middle 😚 I've been dating a guy for a while and we're meant to be getting busy this weekend. Might tell him to bring his shades 😎

Caminante · 17/08/2022 00:02

WilsonMilson · 16/08/2022 21:31

Oh God yes, I had an episiotomy and forceps with ds, lots of stitches by a doctor who would never have made a living as a seamstress. Ds was 9lbs, I’m of slight build and I’ve never been the same, I remember seeing my fanny for the first time and it looked like it had been through a mincer.

16 years on and it’s never recovered to its former glory and still looks a bit chewed down there. DH seems endlessly delighted with the whole set up though and visits often, so who am I to worry about it?

Oh god SAME, I'm very small and had a 9lb baby after a hideous labour and delivery, ventouse and forceps. My exDH said it looked like the doctor was working on a car, up to her elbows 😑
Episiotomy was botched and had to be redone at 6 weeks...everything was all bunched and weirdly bulgy and sore and numb at the same time.

Two further big babies and a couple of decades later...I wouldn't win a fanjo beauty pageant but it's much more normal than I ever thought possible. Then again I look as infrequently as possible 😂😂

astorsback · 17/08/2022 00:21

Atomicspider · 16/08/2022 20:23

Brilliant thread.
But isn’t it so frustrating….
Loads of things mentioned on this thread and as a serious internet hypochondriac I’m straight to google images to diagnose myself. And lo and behold I can’t get past pages and pages of cross section crap reproductive diagrams and it’s nearly impossible to see photographs!
Why can I see a million porny fannies with ease but if I want to see a photograph of real conditions that affect so many women it’s nearly impossible.

Very true.

Twenty odd years ago, you could find all sorts with a quick search but now, they all seem to be behind University/research institute/hospital paywalls (like the BMJ).

I sometimes wonder if I need to take a course in research.

StillMedusa · 17/08/2022 00:21

I have never dared look at mine... not after 4 kids and a prolapse, rectocele and cystocele... I don't think a team of crash investigtors would be able to work out what bits are what!!!!
Brilliant thread... I've spent the last 25 years needing suppositories in order to poo (thanks DC4) and a bladder that never fully empties (womb has gone now thank God) and NO ONE WARNS YOU about all of this!

Dh still very keen however, even though his balls are heading for his knees at an impressive speed

looona · 17/08/2022 00:31

I think I recently realised where the expression sour puss came from ! And if naked attraction had been on tele In my day I would have had a load more confidence in my sex life ..never realised back then that everyone's bits are so different and all normal !

AuntTwacky · 17/08/2022 00:47

99redballoonsgobyy · 16/08/2022 23:48

What a load of rubbish, why are you posting this body shaming nonsense

SettingsO · 17/08/2022 01:23

What a load of rubbish, why are you posting this body shaming nonsense

Shes just being honest, and I think that’s the joy of this kind of thread, that you can say things that you wouldn’t say otherwise.

Colouringaddict · 17/08/2022 02:16

I had to have my labia minora removed due to a skin condition that was ravaging me to a point I could no longer stand it. My gynaecologist had to get permission from the panel as this is usually regarded as a cosmetic surgery. All I can say to those ladies is… you need a bloody medal for putting yourself through it. Mine was done over 2 operations, and the only plus that I could when I came home, was the catheter they fitted. Having a pain free wee was such a relief….until they took it out.

Now going through the menopause and have lost most of my pubic hair on my mons and armpits, but I have the legs and beard of a hairy bloke, why does no one mention this?

Ophanim · 17/08/2022 03:40

WaffleAndGelato · 15/08/2022 18:23

I had a look at mine recently, I swear to you if my undercarriage was ever for some reason used in a police identity parade they'd be looking for a black woman to be attached to it - all the rest of my skin is practically glow in the dark pale but my nethers have decided to go dark. I'm quite fascinated by it all tbh and DH likes it just the same as always.

😂😂😂 I was horrified to see the same thing with my own nethers. It was only due to nurse and doctor not trying to shoot it with a silver bullet during smear tests that stopped me wanting to set fire to it.
Glad to hear it’s not just me.

Marvellousmadness · 17/08/2022 05:22

"Your DH gives no shits what it looks like"

Haha you are joking pp.
Of course a husband cares
You wouldn't want a mangled penis either

I would check your stuff out at the doctor's op. Just to be safe. It doesn't sound normal

Lightning020 · 17/08/2022 05:22

I am 58 and my pubic hairs are still in full swing. No sign of any hair loss though I have always been incredibly hairy. So it is surprising for me to learn that others get less hair or it goes more grey...

stayathomer · 17/08/2022 06:05

What a load of rubbish, why are you posting this body shaming nonsense
This is such a refreshing thread, that it’s using words such as body shaming that will stop people from giving their point of views. I’ve never found them particularly appealing to look at either

firstmummy2019 · 17/08/2022 06:39

Fixyourself · 15/08/2022 23:22

Mine looks like a dropped kebab on a barber shop floor.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭

firstmummy2019 · 17/08/2022 06:55

RobertaFirmino · 16/08/2022 20:52

Pum-pum? Fucking pum-pum? Dear God...

Show quote history

Jamaican slang for the female undercarriage 🤣

Vapeyvapevape · 17/08/2022 07:04

@Colouringaddict I've now got beautiful hairless pits since the menopause, grateful for small mercies !

timeforthebeach · 17/08/2022 07:57

Vecnasnurse · 16/08/2022 19:30

I had my first 2 dc in Greece where they give you a '4 o'clock' episiotomy whether you need it or not. They cut me on opposite sides for each dc, so I had 2 diagonal cuts running away from the opening complete with flappy bits. Third dc was born in UK and I tore straight down through the perineum. If you ever saw me sneeze while naked, you'd think a demogorgon was snapping at you.

OMG, I'm crying here. I'm slightly horrified that I can picture this so clearly 😂😂

waterlego · 17/08/2022 08:12