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Original poster

Bit her during labour

245 replies

IcantbelieveIjustdidthat · 03/08/2021 21:18

Bit my sisters hand during DS labour. She won't let me live it down.
I'd had so many drugs and god knows what to numb the pain, wasn't allowed to eat anything as I was high risk for a c-section, was so hungry and I heard someone mention a sausage roll (nobody did apparently) and I thought she was handing it to me to eat. I was very delirious! She is laughing about it now.

I feel so awful but AIBU to think it's not the craziest thing someone has done?

OP posts:
djyradghjg · 03/08/2021 23:05

Pethidine with my first, convinced I was a massive black and white huge pregnant cow rolling on its side on the hospital bed. Was telling everyone who would listen I was a big pregnant cow. I still remember through the pregnant cow fog my husband asking the midwife what on Earth was going on.

TheCraicDealer · 03/08/2021 23:07

I was puffing away on the gas and air like nobodies business and was coming out with some nonsense- patchy epidural, might as well not have bothered ffs. Started wondering aloud how to get into the car park at the leisure centre on the Shore Road, then told DH to fuck off when he asked what I was on about. Then I started slagging off Gary Lightbody from Snow Patrol and saying he was a complete arsehole. No idea why, apparently he's lovely.

Gas and air gave me the exact same feeling as when you're on a night out and sit on the loo and realise when you're looking at the back of the cubicle door that you're really, really pissed.

Redsquirrel5 · 03/08/2021 23:08

A nurse ( coming back on duty) asked me what I had had and as lunch had just come around and I was still on meds from EmCS I said a lamb chop. I thought perhaps I had been given the wrong lunch as I hadn’t ordered it.She meant boy or girl. She didn’t let me live it down for the next few weeks. Baby was in SCUBA.

vampirethriller · 03/08/2021 23:09

I told my mother "Why don't you go and have a sandwich, I'll be done here in ten minutes" as they were taking me to have a section.
Before she got there I was telling a student midwife all about ancient Rome whilst she was holding my hand.

Shodan · 03/08/2021 23:11

The young (and clearly inexperienced, poor thing) midwife that was told to stay with me after everyone else abandoned XH and I for an emergency next door gave me a plastic bottle of something to grip onto as apparently XH's hand was hurting where I'd gripped it so hard.

I could see the alarm on her face when I came close to breaking that bottle, and she issued urgent instructions to XH to get it off me, and give me something else.

There ensued a tug of war between me and XH- him trying to unclasp my fingers and me not understanding what he was doing (due to being out of my head on gas and air) and apparently I bared my teeth at him and growled at him. I can still remember him feebly telling the midwife that he couldn't get the bottle and she gave him a flannel and told him to offer me that in exchange, which apparently was perfectly acceptable to me.

That same midwife also told me off for screaming as I was pushing- I would "upset the other ladies". My response wasn't as polite as it could've been, tbh.

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 23:13

I told the mil to fuck off (I was in lots of pain and wanted my partner to get off the phone to her). I called the midwife a drug pusher. And then after being examined by Dr ghandi, I made a joke about the dalai llama arriving when I heard a knock at the door. 😬

BiBabbles · 03/08/2021 23:14

I reached for and missed my spouse's hand during labour -- got him by the back of the neck and squeezed, dragging his giant built like a shit brick house self half off his feet (I'm a foot shorter and significantly less than half his weight, he had to catch himself on the side of the bed to not fall on me).

Same labour, he told me I was doing good and I gave him a grammar lecture that I am not 'doing good', it's I am doing well and I am NOT doing well either!

Opalfeet · 03/08/2021 23:15

In my defence: that was after gas and air(two hours worth), pethidine and an epidural.

Original poster
IcantbelieveIjustdidthat · 03/08/2021 23:17

Haha! Thank you for all these, having a good chuckle reading them

OP posts:
Houseofvelour · 03/08/2021 23:20

@BruceAndNosh

I was coming round from anaesthetic and was aware of someone gently tapping my cheek. I thought it was my DH so I grabbed the hand and kept kissing it. It was the anaesthetist.
hahahahahahahahahaha omg this is hilarious!!!
BippityBoppity87 · 03/08/2021 23:20

Oh dear 🤣 Well, I can't say I was much better OP! I was biting onto the bed railing on all fours whilst a midwife massaged my back in labour. All of my contractions were in my lower back, had already had two morphine injections, which didn't touch the pain

Was eventually taken up to the labour ward for an epidural. Fell asleep sitting up whilst the anaesthetised was trying to explain it to me. In my defence I had been awake for over two days by this point! Who was not impressed...

High as kite, apparently I was upset that it wasn't the same radio station as I'd been listening to in the birthing suit and was quite upset about it, then went onto to tell my DP that his shorts were dirty (he wasn't wearing shorts) and that I was going to buy him a new pair. Much to his confusion ConfusedBlush

Costumeidea · 03/08/2021 23:20

I had a contraction whilst the midwife’s hand was inside me, nothing she could do but wait for it to subside. I was bellowing ‘I’m a glove puppet’ and bit down so hard on the gas and air that I chipped my front tooth.

Goodallsfolly · 03/08/2021 23:22

I am not normally confrontational but after the birth of DD, I kept insisting to anyone who would listen that there was another one in there and would they please get it out. There wasn't Blush.

Houseofvelour · 03/08/2021 23:22

My midwife (dd2 birth) kept getting snotty with me when I asked for pain relief and didn't get me any for hours so when I finally got an epidural, I offered the anaesthetist and his assistant a kitkat and then looked at the midwife and said "You're not getting one!"
I was so angry with her lol

goddessofmischief · 03/08/2021 23:22

I spent hours wanting an epidural. Finally got one. Waited so bloody long for baby to descend and was told I'd be able to push at x time. X time came and went. New midwife came on duty and told me I'd have to wait another hour. After about 45 minutes of bloody despair I thought, fine, I'll wipe my sweaty smeared make up off and reapply as I was just stuck on my back, pain free doing nothing. 10 minutes later the new midwife reappeared saying "push now". I told her she could bloody well wait until I'd finished as she'd made me wait. She did. New face applied, I pushed baby out within ten minutes. Of all the times to be bloody minded Grin

DramaAlpaca · 03/08/2021 23:23

@Costumeidea 'I'm a glove puppet!'

Oh god, just so funny Grin Grin Grin

ImFallingApartAt27 · 03/08/2021 23:31

I'm SO relieved to read so many other women say they hallucinated either during or after! I had a shit load of gas and air then when I was wheeled up to the ward after having DD I was seeing dinosaurs in the shadows of the people in the next cubicle. I genuinely feared I was experiencing postpartum psychosis and kept it to myself. This was 2.5 years ago and even up until recently when I've reflected back it always worried me. PHEW!

Unsure33 · 03/08/2021 23:32

I kicked my midwife. As I was going down for an emergency c section after being in labour for hours she said something like I bet those pains are not so bad now . ( I had told them epidurals did not work on me and they would not believe me ) I just kicked out and said F off . ( I never swear)

They had to administer another anesthetic in the end and I did get an apology later . But it was the angriest I had ever been.

Ithappened123 · 03/08/2021 23:37

Told DH, after epidural failed twice, that I was going to 'run away with my new friend the epidural lady as she had more to offer than him...' she got it to work just before I was going to push.

IJustLikeBiscuitsOK · 03/08/2021 23:38

Here I am, after the craziest shift on a paeds ward, only just getting my tea now.. and I come across @Mumvschildren 's post. My God, I may be returning to the hospital for aspiration pneumonia, there is cottage pie in my lung. I have NEVER laughed so hysterically in all my life. Thank you for this post, you are all heroes, and I have a sudden urge to become a midwife now and not a neonatal nurse hahaha

Houseofvelour · 03/08/2021 23:39

@ImFallingApartAt27

I'm SO relieved to read so many other women say they hallucinated either during or after! I had a shit load of gas and air then when I was wheeled up to the ward after having DD I was seeing dinosaurs in the shadows of the people in the next cubicle. I genuinely feared I was experiencing postpartum psychosis and kept it to myself. This was 2.5 years ago and even up until recently when I've reflected back it always worried me. PHEW!
Sending you hugs. I can't believe you've been worried about it all this time, you poor thing. It's complete normal! After dd1 when we were in our room on the ward, a nurse came in to do obs and I was convinced she was in my imagination. I asked "are you real?" and she said "yes" and I started crying hysterically telling her that she wasn't! she must've thought I was mad haha
SingingSands · 03/08/2021 23:40

I remember biting DH on the shoulder. I wasn't hungry but I was on gas and air and pethidine and quite angry.

I also remember getting into a strop with the (amazingly calm and obviously wonderful) midwife. I was having a really tough moment and she was placating me with some soothing words of encouragement when I snapped "have you even ever given birth?".

"Yes" she replied. "I have four children".

Me: "Oh". Blush

ViceVersa · 03/08/2021 23:40

Labour with my first DC was a long back to back labour which I remember very little of as I was off my face and delirious with pain for the majority of it but highlights I’ve been told about numerous times after include.

Due to sucking on the gas and air pipe so hard my mouth went numb. I remember asking my DP once or twice if my teeth had fallen out as I could no longer feel them. According to Dp I actually asked “have I still got teeth?” and then opened my mouth for whoever was there to look, at least once a minute for well over 2 hours until everyone was about to go mad Blush

I was also in a room near the midwife station and could clearly hear them discuss other patients and babies, for some reason I got it in my head they were filming an episode of one born every minute and constantly said that I didn’t want to be on TV, whilst everyone looked at me like Hmm

I was put on a syntocinon drip and was having back to back contractions with an epidural that didn’t work and was in agony and screaming and shouting constantly. A midwife told me to call down as I was scaring the other ladies at which point I shouted our in an almost demonic voice “I don’t give a fuck!!!!!”

After 60 hours in labour and a failed epidural which no one initially would believe hadn’t worked, a lovely new Anaesthetist put another epidural in which worked wonderfully. I told the anaesthetist I loved him repeatedly and the other one should be sacked, at which point the first anaesthetist walked into the room and I bellowed at him “get out you idiot you need to be sacked! Blush

Not my finest moments Grin

CoodleMoodle · 03/08/2021 23:41

With DD I kept telling everyone that I'd had an epidural. She didn't come out for ages after I'd had it but everyone who came in got to know how I'd had an epidural, as if it was some new thing nobody else had ever had. Then I broke the gas and air thing when I bit down too hard, and screamed at DM and DH to fix it immediately or I would die. I couldn't swear because DM was there.

With DS it was just me and DH, so I swore a LOT. At one point I screamed and both he and the midwife told me off! I went fucking nuts at them! I still don't let DH forget how much of a dick he was at that moment, and DS is 3 Blush But it was dickish... Apparently I couldn't scream because then I wouldn't be able to hear what the midwife thought I should do. Fuck off, at that point I was on all fours and I knew full well what to do!

Didn't have an epidural that time so it was just gas and air. I hallucinated that I was on X Factor. Whilst on all fours, naked from the waist down. Didn't say it out loud because thirty seconds later DS flew out and I only remembered it when I'd sobered up!

Sackofnickles · 03/08/2021 23:45

I was so off my face I genuinely forgot I was having a baby.

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