The random comment men

[brokenbiscuitsx]

You know the ones, not the ‘leery car shouters’ but those who feel they can make comments about what you, a stranger, is doing when going about their business (and I’ll add not harming anyone!)

Just now I popped to the shop to collect a parcel, when I was there I grabbed a coffee from their Costa pod and a blueberry muffin. The man behind me piped up “You’ll get fat eating that” I was really taken aback so just said “thanks for your comment, random man” paid and then as I was walking out past him he said, no need to be so rude and mumbled ‘stroppy cow’ but I heard.

I wasn’t rude I just asserted myself and that is the issue isn’t it. He was expecting me to laugh along ‘oh I already am tee hee’ (I’m not) but no, I’m sick of it.

It happens too often as well. I have had a random man comment on how I could run better in the park when I was having a break and a man who saw my Led Zeppelin tshirt and said ‘what’s your favourite song then?’ So I said ‘Heartbreaker- you probably haven’t heard of it’ and he mumbled something at me and walked off (I knew he was trying to catch me out, hoping I didn’t know any songs!)

I don’t really know what my AIBU is, I guess, is it rude? Should I have just smiled sweetly like the passive woman I am meant to be. I’m just sick of these types of men! He took offence with me speaking up, perhaps he should learn not to make comments to random strangers.

Does anyone else get this, maybe I have that sort of face that men can’t help commenting to. If so, how do you cope with it?

Just, ugh, makes me angry.

[Orgasmagorical]

Rainbow

I like your response, OP, but I think I'd have ripped him a new one for "stroppy cow". It's bad enough he thinks it's okay to comment to a random woman but to then be annoyed because she had the audacity to say something back - how fucking dare he!

[foxandbee]

I was mowing my front lawn one bright autumn day, when a passing man stopped and told me off. He said I'd ruin the grass. I shrugged and carried on. For some reason he then said I was "a good girl".

I am in my fifties.

[YesPleaseMary]

“Do I know you?”
“No…”
“Good.”

[JanFromLaMancha]

There's a badge for this! It says 'Thanks random man. Your opinion is noted' I have often thought of getting one! I hope the link works: hoyfc.com/collections/5-pins-for-30/products/thanks-random-man-your-opinion-is-noted-enamel-pin

[OldGreyBoots]

YANBU OP. I've had similar issues when wearing rock T shirts, I love your responses and your taste in music

[MistyGreenAndBlue]

@brokenbiscuitsx

Exactly, who walks around with a perma grin like a crazed maniac. I feel like walking around and telling random men to “cheer up!”

Why do they do it? What do they think it will achieve? The worst I had, “smile you’d be so much more attractive!” Ugh, I’m not here for you to look at 🤮
.

I once answered this with " and YOU would be more attractive if you learned to shut your mouth"

I cannot claim this was an off-the-cuff response though. I'd heard this crap so many times I'd actually practised my answer

[brokenbiscuitsx]

@GammyLeg

“Thanks for your comment, random man” needs to be on a t shirt.

I was remarking to a friend the other day that the only people who try and talk to me while I’m walking the dog and wearing my headphones (the only time I have to myself) are men. At first I’d lift an ear off to listen and it would always be something inane so now I just ignore.

Thanks for your comment, random man” needs to be on a t shirt

😆 I saw a similar phrase as a meme on Twitter and kept it in my back pocket to respond to these idiot men (of course I can’t find it now) 🙄 but you can get ‘Thanks random man, your opinion is noted’ cards and pin badges it seems 🤣🤣🤣

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

Haha I love comments like that it gives me a chance to answer back... I always make a comment back " in jest" that totally embarrasses them. Life's too short to take offence at every stranger that makes a stupid comment , laugh it off and move on .

[MistyGreenAndBlue]

Another good one is "why,, how gentlemanly of you to say so"
With all the sarcasm you can muster of course.

[Taliskerskye]

Ha I love that broach
Though I think it might elicit more comments, because I don’t think random men get if

[brokenbiscuitsx]

[quote JanFromLaMancha]There's a badge for this! It says 'Thanks random man. Your opinion is noted' I have often thought of getting one! I hope the link works: hoyfc.com/collections/5-pins-for-30/products/thanks-random-man-your-opinion-is-noted-enamel-pin[/quote]
Ahh cross post 😊😆 I might get on a tshirt so I can just point to it and walk off 🤣

[Clarice99]

Thankfully a lifetime of shitty unwanted comments from wankers men have waned due to not going out as much now and also due to getting older.

Because I'm autistic, very black and white thinking with blunt/direct speech, I have always responded in a way that's perceived as rude, but IDGAF.

I didn't invite these morons to address me, so my responses, often along the lines of 'when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it' or just a withering look, have been enough to kill it dead.

Men think they're funny. They're so not funny. Or endearing. And the more women put up with this behaviour and accept the label that we're aggressive for actually just being assertive, the more men will carry on walking all over us.

Well done OP for challenging him.

[Ghosttile]

I’ve never seen men telling other men to smile …

[brokenbiscuitsx]

@Ghosttile

I’ve never seen men telling other men to smile …

That’s why I think it’s s power play

[Taliskerskye]

It’s power though
They know that especially younger women won’t say anything because how do we know that random man isn’t a nutter who’s going to follow you down the street screaming abuse (happened a few times)

[Charlieiscool]

Oh yes I know. They always feel entitled to give an opinion because of course we all need to know what they think. Such arrogance and we are expected to appreciate it. So fucking irritating.

[WhatMattersMost]

@brokenbiscuitsx

Exactly, who walks around with a perma grin like a crazed maniac. I feel like walking around and telling random men to “cheer up!”

Why do they do it? What do they think it will achieve? The worst I had, “smile you’d be so much more attractive!” Ugh, I’m not here for you to look at 🤮
.

Why do they do it? What do they think it will achieve?

From a psychological perspective, they want you to be their mummy. Probably because their own mum never smiled at them when they were little. Time for them to grow the fuck up, I think!

[youdoyoutoday]

One of my greatest girl power moments was when some random bloke came out with "smile, love, it might not happen!" I replied with "well with a face like yours, it's already happened to you so I think I'll be ok" smiled sweetly then walked off! Prick!!
I'm not sure my response even made sense but the look on his face was great!!

[Allthesefolks]

I love “thanks for your comment random man”! Hoping I would actually be brave enough to say it when flustered in the moment.

I wear headphones a lot and have RBF so get this a lot, I have no idea what they’re actually saying had the time as I can’t hear them. I would never make a comment to a random person in the street.

[WhatMattersMost]

So, yes, it's control: a part of them is scared, feels powerless, and so they become the aggressor. It is so damned tiring.

[NormanStangerson]

@LadyCatStark

I have a naturally miserable face 😂 and I always get, “smile, it might never happen!”

1) Why would I be wandering through Aldi car park with a huge smile on my face and
2) what if it already has happened?

I have a somber face when I’m not grinning like a twat, and get that too. I absolutely glower that them and say, “it already has…” I try to combine mystery and threat in the way I say it and walk away holding their eye contact. They tend to freeze.

[alloalloallo]

YANBU

I get completely sick of it

I used to have a colleague who would constantly tell me to smile. Did my head in. I printed off an article about why it’s problematic to tell women to smile and left it on his desk. He told me he was just joking so I asked him why he thought he should get any opinion on my face and that jokes are meant to be funny. He did tel me I had no sense of humour but he didn’t do it again.

My DD was in a supermarket the other day picking up some alcohol and picky bits for a party she was going to and a random man told her she shouldn’t drink and she’d get fat. She told him that perhaps he should take his own advice. He got all huffy about the youth of today so she told him that perhaps he should keep his unsolicited opinions to himself in future

[BashfulClam]

I had a random man say ‘why haven’t you got an umbrella, you ladies don’t to get your hair wet!’ I’m not precious about my hair, my umbrella had spontaneously combusted a few days before. I said ‘wow are you always this sexist or is this a special performance?’ The guy with him
Sniggered and he had a face like thunder whilst muttering.

[RavenclawsRoar]

I once was buying lunch at work when one of the male PE teachers glanced at my tray and told me "there's far too many carbs in that" (think it was pasta salad). I immediately put my tray down, added a bread roll and the carbiest dessert on offer with added custard. Then smiled sweetly at him and ate the lot with relish. At the time I was early 20s, very slim and fit so his comments couldn't even have been construed as concern for my health.

[DrSbaitso]

I've just remembered the twat who stopped and said "You'll be wanting the vote next!" when he saw me changing a tyre...