I farted in my surgeons face today.

ImprobablePuffin · 2021-05-21T15:57:19+00:00

AND I have to see him again 4 more times over the coming weeks ! God I may never live it down, he had me standing in front of him in my undies and a gown and he was sitting in front of me at belly height. He was feeling around my tummy and just pressed the wrong spot which catapulted a fart of mammoth proportions right out of me. I swear it echoed around his posh office! Please cheer me up with your most embarrassing situations I really need a laugh before I curl up and die.

ChunkyButFunky87 · 21/05/2021 17:02

Not my personal story but my friend who has a history of fainting went for a smear test, just finished, doctor and nurse in room said you can get dressed, as she sat up, knickers still down/skirt still up, she fainted right off the bed, out the curtain legs akimbo in front of them lol

She also fainted at the dentist and broke her nose on his chair!

blissfulllife · 21/05/2021 17:05

Had a polyp removed from my cervix under local anaesthetic few weeks back. As the doctor removed the speculum a little squelchy fart noise came out my vadge.

Soubriquet · 21/05/2021 17:07

Yeah I was only young but I was in hospital with a severe water infection

Doctor comes on his rounds with some junior doctors too to let them observe

Pushes down on my belly to test the pain and I farted loudly. And long.

My mum was embarrassed.

Doctor just said very breezily “better out than in”

He left quite quickly afterwards though

romdowa · 21/05/2021 17:09

I've had an endoscopy under sedation and gave the Dr preforming it and the nursing staff the high of abuse after , obviously I had no idea what I was doing but I remembered it a few weeks later and had to face him again for results and I honestly wanted to die. He was very understanding and said its a very common affect of the drugs and was surprised i remembered it as most don't.

Original poster

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 17:11

Thank you for sharing - I'm sure doctors have seen it all a thousand times but just the thought that after you've left they'll be there like "Bloody hell Gloria did you smell that one?!"
Mortifying. I think also because I was raised to never trump in front of anyone and if I did I would be told off it just feels sooo cringey!

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Evergibbon · 21/05/2021 17:12

I wet myself after a procedure under sedation. Had to stuff my knickers in my pocket and go home without!

VaccineMcQueen · 21/05/2021 17:13

Personally, I find farting absolutely hilarious so this would have made my day if I were your doc

Babdoc · 21/05/2021 17:25

Don’t give it another thought, OP. I’m a retired anaesthetist, and this sort of thing goes with the territory. One of my colleagues, a colorectal surgeon, said ruefully that his toddler son greeted him on arrival at home with “Daddy, why do you always smell of poo?!”
And your fart pales into insignificance beside a poor patient of mine who was awake, having a vaginal hysterectomy.
Her bowel relaxed under the influence of the spinal, and suddenly emptied its entire contents into the gynae surgeon’s lap!

ShutUpAlex · 21/05/2021 17:29

I fell over on the bus when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was one of those slow motion falls that took about 10 minutes for me to land on the floor and I emitted a long and loud fart the whole time that continued even after I was lying on the bus floor.

masterofthechef · 21/05/2021 17:30

Are you on Only Fans? men are paying good money for that apparently

Orangeinmybluelightcup · 21/05/2021 17:31

I went to a pilates class with my friend, she farted and tried to style it out, for some reason I thought her foot had squeaked so joked loudly that it had sounded like she'd farted, poor friend went bright red and confessed, me, friend the instructor spent the rest of the class trying to stifle the giggles...

HornbeamLane · 21/05/2021 17:43

In a previous job there was a lovely lady who was stood in a pod, chatting to a woman, "B".
I was sat down at my desk, looking into the pod
In the pod was a long desk where two colleagues sat and at the desks there were colleagues A and B. The lady had stood between A and B, and was chatting to B with her backside facing A who was sat down.
Whilst the lady spoke to colleague "B" all of a sudden the lady lets out a huge sneeze and just at that moment I saw colleague A turn around to say something to B and literally breathed in a fart which was spurred on from the sneeze!
I literally watched her fart in his mouth as he breathed in...
I don't know if I've ever laughed harder in my life

TheVanguardSix · 21/05/2021 17:45

I farted a trombone symphony in the midwife’s face as she stitched up my tear post delivery. Fanny, arse, and places I didn’t know existed. I was a proper fartisaurus. It was mortifying. Her head was right down there at the source! I’m sure I singed her eyebrows/lashes/hairline!
We definitely stopped at DC3.

PaleGreenGhost · 21/05/2021 17:48

Yoga class. Head stand. Instructor came around to support my legs because I'd never done a full one before and was too nervous to fully extend my legs. So naturally my fanny repaid him with a weird airy sounding fart. It was totally impossible to stop (are fanny farts even stoppable?) and seemed to go on forever. He said nothing which made it way worse.

Original poster

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 18:09

@ShutUpAlex

I fell over on the bus when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was one of those slow motion falls that took about 10 minutes for me to land on the floor and I emitted a long and loud fart the whole time that continued even after I was lying on the bus floor.

That sounds so bad but I couldn't help but laugh at the visual of you falling in slow motion whilst ejecting a loud fart 😂

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Original poster

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 18:10

@masterofthechef

Are you on Only Fans? men are paying good money for that apparently

Think I must be very naive or a prude - I just don't think I could even for cash 💰

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MarshaBradyo · 21/05/2021 18:11

This made me laugh

I would have had to say something like oh god sorry

thisisbull · 21/05/2021 18:16

Went for a smear and as she inserted the speculum my eBay app made the ka-ching! Noise that meant I'd sold something but sounded like a til opening the dr just said 'well that's a bit inappropriate isn't it talk about timing' 😂😂😂😂

ShutUpAlex · 21/05/2021 18:18

@ImprobablePuffin you know in movies when someone falls and it’s slow motion and the nooooooo is really deep because they slow the voice down too? It was like that but out of my ass.

Original poster

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 18:19

@thisisbull

Went for a smear and as she inserted the speculum my eBay app made the ka-ching! Noise that meant I'd sold something but sounded like a til opening the dr just said 'well that's a bit inappropriate isn't it talk about timing' 😂😂😂😂

FANTASTIC

Sort of reminds me of the time my sister leant over and yelled at the toaster to HURRY UP and it promptly spat the toast out into her face

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MistySkiesAfterRain · 21/05/2021 18:20

@thisisbull

Went for a smear and as she inserted the speculum my eBay app made the ka-ching! Noise that meant I'd sold something but sounded like a til opening the dr just said 'well that's a bit inappropriate isn't it talk about timing' 😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂 Cashing in.

Original poster

ImprobablePuffin · 21/05/2021 18:20

[quote ShutUpAlex]@ImprobablePuffin you know in movies when someone falls and it’s slow motion and the nooooooo is really deep because they slow the voice down too? It was like that but out of my ass.[/quote]
😂😂 I'm afraid that just makes it even better. See other people's embarrassment is fine - it's just mine I'm not ok with 😂

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Mimsytove · 21/05/2021 18:21

What was the sound?

Bass, the pinched squeaky or two tone?

Wet afterburner or dry?

MistySkiesAfterRain · 21/05/2021 18:22

Ps OP wins the day with the thread title.

MilduraS · 21/05/2021 18:24

I once tripped down some steps in front of 4 clients. One of them rushed to help me up and as he did, I let out the loudest fart of my life. Could have been heard from 100m away and no mistaking it for anything other than a fart At least yours was a medical professional who did something that probably had a 50:50 chance of making you fart!