I farted in my surgeons face today.

[ImprobablePuffin]

AND I have to see him again 4 more times over the coming weeks !

God I may never live it down, he had me standing in front of him in my undies and a gown and he was sitting in front of me at belly height. He was feeling around my tummy and just pressed the wrong spot which catapulted a fart of mammoth proportions right out of me. I swear it echoed around his posh office!

Please cheer me up with your most embarrassing situations I really need a laugh before I curl up and die.

Sorry, but I just died

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I work in theatres. Not a surgeon or anything. Once farted, the surgeon spent ages trying to find this hole in the bowel 😳

I'm sure they've experienced far nastier stuff.

I had my tonsils out in my 20's and apparently as I was being put to sleep, I shouted out I love vodka 🙈

@ShutUpAlex

I fell over on the bus when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was one of those slow motion falls that took about 10 minutes for me to land on the floor and I emitted a long and loud fart the whole time that continued even after I was lying on the bus floor.

🤣🤣Crrrrrying

I vomited in my doctors lap. Morning sickness was a killer. Still she signed me off work and sent me home with a stack of sick bowls.

Same Dr inserted my Mirena coil. Lots of (menstrual) blood gushed out everywhere. Both nurse and Dr said they had never seen so much come out during the procedure. She made the comment afterwards that at least none ended up on her Shes retired now. I miss her.

I projectile vomited on my anaesthetist- all up both arms and right across her chest.

Loving all of these stories :)

I tore when I had my dd and the same thing happened to me. He was stitching me back up and said "you'll feel a bit of pressure" then I farted straight in his face twice!! So embarrassed but now I look back and laugh

@VaccineMcQueen

Personally, I find farting absolutely hilarious so this would have made my day if I were your doc

@FTEngineerM

Ooo mines a farty one too.

In labour, epidural&catheter in, they’ve just upped the dose because one part was still hurting and the anaesthetist is stood next to midwife who was so incredibly beautifully made up false eyelashes the lot and wouldn’t stop talking about her house reno and white Range Rover just going through my notes after the pain relief boost and this really slow loud bubbly noise appears from between my legs, like seriously slow mo.

We all look down into my crotch surprised and I say ‘I think somethings wrong with the catheter’ she smiles and says ‘that wasn’t urine my love that was a great big fart’

I wanted to die.

"Great big fart" Oh my Lord, my lockdown belly isn't equipped for these laughs

One Christmas at the ILs, we were all loudly playing party games in the evening, a few drinks and nibbles on top of Christmas Lunch and I could feel one brewing so, to be polite, after what I'd done the previous year, I decided to quickly pop out of the room and let rip in the hallway, but it's half open-plan and the doors were open and just at the time it emerged, everyone had gone silent. Cue lots of laughing and me

This thread is hillarious. Thank you for sharing because I needed the laugh.

I went on a ghost tour when visiting a city with my then boyfriend at the time. We were around 19 and the tour was a little boring and we were on it with his parents too. Anyway we stopped at this spooky building in a part of the city and the tour guide was explaining how people still heard the voices and had seen flashes of light and ended on "sometimes if you listen carefully people have said they can still hear the trumpets" this was proceeded by what I can only describe as the biggest loudest longest fart I have ever heard. Anyway just me and him were so hysterical literally fitting with giggles that we got kicked off the ghost tour! His family never did like me after that!

Someone I knew was a midwife and was looking after a woman in what she believed was Labour as it was her 6th baby. She came in the woman said she had pressure and the midwife kept telling her its just the babies head push. Anyway a short while later a big pile of poo on the bed and the woman discharged from hospital didn't have the baby for a following two weeks! Could have been worse.

I have worked a variety of jobs in health care over the last ten years and I can't tell you the sheer amount of time I have had gail force farts in my face. Dont sweat it!

@BetterThanKleenex

Couples yoga. Silent room full of very yoga-y people who took it so seriously in their yoga costumes. DH made me laugh during the downward dog and I farted so loud the windows rattled. He snort laughed and fell down and the women next to me laughed until they farted too. Made the rest of the session more fun though!

Crying my eyes out 🤣🤣🤣

I have a bad back & went for frequent checkups . Always just a chat , rarely a physical examination. Got a call up , usually at local hospital , was going on to fairly new boyfriends afterwards & for a joke was wearing stockings etc & ( cringe!) nipple tassels. Consultant was new & asked me to undress to the waist ..... I decided to brazen it out & tryed to look nonchalant. His face was an absolute picture . Still go hot with shame . Strangely although I only had two appt a year I was called up again 3 weeks later ... I canceled .

@Roonerspismed

Yoga. Pilates. Loose fannies. Nightmare.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆

These are brilliant😂

@Bubblemonkey

My MH is shambles at the moment, this has give me a good chuckle though

Same!!

@Bubblemonkey

My MH is shambles at the moment, this has give me a good chuckle though

I'm really down at the moment and to make it worse, I'm also on the holiday from hell! This thread has really helped!

Not me, but a friend was having a smear test, she was behind the screen taking off her trousers etc, tripped as she took them off and fell through/onto them and landed face down on the floor in front of the nurse, bare arse up with trousers still around ankles....

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂crying with laughter not too much belly hurts.

Not so much my embarrassing story but it reminds me of the time I was going to ante-natal classes. One couple seemed quite "well-to-do", spoke very poshly, I know it doesn't always follow, but I presumed well educated. Anyway, the person taking the classes was talking about the baby's first stool, and the expectant father piped up, in his very posh voice "what's a stool?".
DH and I still imitate it 20 years later!

@ShutUpAlex thank you. This provided me with the biggest belly laugh I have had in ages.

I did equestrian exams years ago in a large echoey indoor school. Part of the exam involved riding horses one behind the other. I was behind a rather large lady who was riding a horse with a huge backside. We set off in trot, and every time the lady's bottom sat in the saddle, both she and the horse were doing blastingly loud farts. What made it worse was the echo reverberating, and the fact I couldn't laugh. All the examiners were sat in the gallery with their noses in their notes,, but I did notice that their faces were very red and a few had watery eyes. It still makes me laugh years later.

@Em308

Bubblemonkey I’m in a bad place too at the moment and this is honestly the first time I’ve laughed for I don’t know how long x

I also have severe anxiety attacks and depression I'm on fairly hefty meds. I haven't yet seen the funny side of my slip up (slip out?) but I'm enjoying everyone else's 😂😂