Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

[KnittedJimmychoos]

Fudged details in case the eye of sauron gets hold...

But Mil and fil had been entertaining their friends, say Peter and Jane... Dh and I came in after their meal... And fil opened a really nice bottle of champagne.. Dh and I sat down chatting and fil served his friend but not me?
I made eyes at dh so he got a glass and went to serve me a glass, dh was driving and also doesn't like it.. Fil suddenly looked panicked and asked who was driving, and as dh poured he tried to make sure it was a half glass even though dh said he was ie empty excuse ? Meanwhile he then took the bottle and topped up his fiend chatting happily!
Dh then took bottle to fill me up and again fil seemed panicky!!
I did say I only fancied one glass.. And he sort of sucked in his breath and looked at me like a five year old and said "this is a really good bottle".

For context there is no way on earth my df would ever serve one person like this and not another!
Maybe he got out this bottle and hadn't reckoned on us coming back but isn't this the height of rudeness?? The mother of his only grandchildren??

Pils live in house worth a few million, not London, are very well off.. Have a wine cupboard.. They also treat dh like this.. On other stuff... Ie this wasn't a treasured special bottle saved for anniversary they can't replace..
I'm not keen anyway but I felt this was so unpleasant! Your not good enough for me to give nice champagne too!
Can't say the make because its fudged details.

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!

@KnittedJimmychoos

Dh and his family used to live over seas. This friend Peter and Jane did as well but they all live in the UK now. However they had not seen these friends for a long time, Mil did a meal for them sil and her dh were invited but it was made clear ish we were not welcome. Ie lots of hints about us being busy with the dc etc But dh really wanted to also see this family friend so we dropped in later..

So you arrived in unannounced & uninvited, "made eyes" at your DH to get you champagne and then also seat yourself a bit higher on the pecking order because you're the mother of their only grandchildren ...?

Can't see why they weren't bending over backwards for you tbh...

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!
If you gatecrash a dinner party and behave like a second class citizen by being grabby about champagne then you shouldn't be surprised if you are treated that way.

When he comes to yours you serve him Tesco value food, problem solved

@KnittedJimmychoos I think you’re intentionally missing the point tbh.

It’s not about being able to help yourself usually or what happens in your parents house or what you’re happy with in your home.

To turn up to a gathering you knew full well you weren’t wanted at and then insist on champagne is honestly just bonkers. I’d have the same opinion even if it was just a cup of tea you were angling for but it’s obviously worse being an expensive alcoholic drink.

I can’t imagine wanting to go somewhere I’m not wanted no matter how keen I was to see someone there.

If this is real rhen it takes a proper brass neck to behave like the op and her husband did and then to complain they weren’t feeding you champagne.

😂

You put him in a really awkward spot. You weren't invited. It doesn't matter if you think that's rude, you don't turn up and help yourself to drink. How much did you nick anyway?

@JackieWeaverFever

What in God's name is wrong with people on here? It's like upside down land sometimes.

It is insanely rude. Your FIL is insanely rude
No one in the real world would shrug and think this is okay or normal. It's weird and petty.

Your FIL sounds somewhat unpleasant and presumably has some kind of issue with your husband (and maybe you?).

Eh? If I bought a £100 bottle of Dom and my kid ‘popped’ in, I’d be saying “see ya later sonny, come back in the morning in the morning for a cuppa you fucking chancer”

I always wonder what the other side's story is on threads like this

YABU and grabby. Really very rude.

I also think it’s very plausible that the guests brought the champagne and they chilled it over dinner. In which case FIL would have been mortified at having to share it out with rude gate crashers if the guests brought it specially. Time, money and consideration had probably been spent in choosing a special bottle and then it gets guzzles by gate crashers. Unbelievable. No wonder you weren’t invited.

@Miasicarisatia

When he comes to yours you serve him Tesco value food, problem solved

I hope he turns up to OPs uninvited and helps himself to whatever he fancies and then leaves

I’m with you @KnittedJimmychoos - very rude and quite strange. Have they always been like this? What does dh say?

Op did you expect him to bust out the Coquilles St Jacques and Beluga caviar also?

Obvs I would say ‘in the morning’ only once. But I got excited typing that out 😂😂

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yeah

OP: No, I'm not!

FWIW, I was brought up with the concept that when entertaining it is sometimes necessary that "Family hold Back" on the expensive/scarce items!

We didn't stay long... He only wanted to say hi and chat for a little...

Right. If you literally just popped by to say hi, there was no need for anyone to offer your drinks.

I'm pretty sure this can't be genuine, but if it is you are rude, entitled and greedy. And your DH is just as bad for taking it upon himself to dish out his parents' champagne.

@Pebbledashery

Op did you expect him to bust out the Coquilles St Jacques and Beluga caviar also?

I think she just wanted to be offered a drink like the others were.

😂

Hmm well someone with perfect manners would have offered you the same as everyone else was having...however you were very rude to a. Turn up uninvited and b. Help yourself to their expensive champagne. Given your own rudeness, you can't really criticise anyone else!
If you wanted to meet the family friend then you need to make your own arrangements.

Interesting!!

In my family it's absolutely totally opposite... First of all, we wouldn't ever be soley excluded and another sibling welcomed.. And then if someone had been somewhere else and then turned up, it's definitely more the merrier attitude..

And there's no way firstly dh would have to wait or make eyes at me for a drink.. The first thing df does is either serve or we help ourselves!

I do appreciate however how other people feel this was our error and l should not have expected a drink least of all some nice champagne!

It makes it less personal...

You're absolutely BU, and I'm staggered that you can't see it.

• you weren't invited.
• PIL's made it clear they wanted and evening with their friends, without you and DH.
• if you fancied a drink, then why not bring a bottle?
• why signal to DH to get you a drink? Are you incapable of asking for/getting your own?
• if it was clear that PIL didn't want to share their expensive champagne with you, then why not take the hint?
• your 'Mother of their grandchildren' comment is cringeworthy, and tells me a lot about how you view yourself.

If you behave like this normally, then it's no wonder you weren't invited.

😂
Honestly I'm not surprised your fil doesn't like you!!

It is insanely rude. Your FIL is insanely rude

No more rude than turning up uninvited and helping yourself to champagne.

Is it an English thing to have a hierarchy for drinks? I’m Irish and this just wouldn’t happen in any of the homes I go to. Either the champagne would never appear whole unwanted guests were present or everyone would be offered and no differences made between anyone. It’s absolutely absurd to offer a drink to only some of the people present.