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Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

999 replies

KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 22:07

Fudged details in case the eye of sauron gets hold...

But Mil and fil had been entertaining their friends, say Peter and Jane... Dh and I came in after their meal... And fil opened a really nice bottle of champagne.. Dh and I sat down chatting and fil served his friend but not me?
I made eyes at dh so he got a glass and went to serve me a glass, dh was driving and also doesn't like it.. Fil suddenly looked panicked and asked who was driving, and as dh poured he tried to make sure it was a half glass even though dh said he was ie empty excuse ? Meanwhile he then took the bottle and topped up his fiend chatting happily!
Dh then took bottle to fill me up and again fil seemed panicky!!
I did say I only fancied one glass.. And he sort of sucked in his breath and looked at me like a five year old and said "this is a really good bottle".

For context there is no way on earth my df would ever serve one person like this and not another!
Maybe he got out this bottle and hadn't reckoned on us coming back but isn't this the height of rudeness?? The mother of his only grandchildren??

Pils live in house worth a few million, not London, are very well off.. Have a wine cupboard.. They also treat dh like this.. On other stuff... Ie this wasn't a treasured special bottle saved for anniversary they can't replace..
I'm not keen anyway but I felt this was so unpleasant! Your not good enough for me to give nice champagne too!
Can't say the make because its fudged details.

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!

OP posts:
Aprilx · 24/04/2021 22:20

It sounds like you gatecrashed an evening with friends, maybe they enjoy fancy wine and take it in turns to entertain or something. You seem to have turned up and are treating a glass of expensive wine as if it were a cup of tea. And your mother of his only grandchild comment is odd.

FizzyApricot · 24/04/2021 22:21

@KnittedJimmychoos

I didn't demand a glass... Fil happily served friend and I caught dh eye and "made eyes" to the bottle as no moves had been made to get me or indeed dh a drink...
Yes because you weren't invited
Hotelhelp · 24/04/2021 22:21

YABVU!!!

You gatecrashed a gathering that you rightly or wrongly weren’t invited to and demanded champagne Grin

daisypond · 24/04/2021 22:21

Your update makes it worse. You were clearly out of order here.

Sooobooored · 24/04/2021 22:21

They made it clear they didn’t want you to go but you went anyway.

luxxlisbon · 24/04/2021 22:21

Maybe the friends brought the nice bottle and it’s not exactly in-laws place to dish it out? It’s weird that you knew they were busy and you still insisted on turning up at their house, then sitting down expecting to drink champagne with them while they were hosting.

wanderbug · 24/04/2021 22:21

So your in-laws had made it clear that you weren't welcome, but you decided to turn up at the end anyway and help yourselves to drinks?

I don't think it's the FIL who was rude in this scenario.

GappyValley · 24/04/2021 22:22

Oh ok, your update changes things..!

You were specifically not invited, turned up anyway and then helped yourself to the drinks that for all you know, had some significant meaning to the 4 of them?

This ‘mother of grandchildren’ status - I bet they are very aware that’s what you think of yourself and I wouldn’t be surprised if the 4 of them had a good old eye roll as soon as you (eventually) left...

This should have been one of those ‘read the room’ situations...

And for the PPs criticising the FIL’s hosting... he wasn’t actually hosting OP on this occasion!

KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 22:22

Moira.. I have a different mind set, so for Xmas we buy what we can afford but we have brought them champagne and I would buy the best of what we can afford which would way below what they may enjoy...
If we host them... I would buy champagne because I ink they like it..

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 24/04/2021 22:23

Trying to picture how I'd react if i got the expensive stuff out for friends I hadn't seen for a long time and a couple of cheeky gatecrashers turn up and expect a glass of the good stuff...
Unless we're missing something.. You and DH basically just turned up??

AnneTwackie · 24/04/2021 22:23

It was made clear you were not invited but you turned up anyway and then signalled for your husband, not the host, to get you a drink. So rude!

Sooobooored · 24/04/2021 22:23

But they weren’t hosting you.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 24/04/2021 22:24

If we host them... I would buy champagne

....and? They weren't bloody well hosting you!

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2021 22:24

But they weren’t hosting you. They made it clear they wanted an evening with just their friends, you gate crashed. It’s so unbelievably rude. Then sitting making eyes at the bottle.

Why would you do this. Have you no friends of their own.

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2021 22:24

Of your own.

Stormwhale · 24/04/2021 22:24

I have to say I cringed a bit reading this. I think you were grabby, and although fil was not being a very gracious host, it sounds as though you weren't actually invited.

lunar1 · 24/04/2021 22:25

You gate crashed, then drank the very expensive champagne that you don't particularly like to make a point.

UhtredRagnarson · 24/04/2021 22:25

If someone turned up at my house who I didn’t want to share my champagne with I just wouldn’t bring out the champagne. I’d invite my important friends back for champagne on another evening.

Pebbledashery · 24/04/2021 22:25

Yes as pp highlighted.. How do you know it's not the champagne his friends provided for the evening??

ComDummings · 24/04/2021 22:26

Um why would you just ‘drop in’ when they made it clear to you that you were not invited though?

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2021 22:26

I’m cringing too and hoping it’s not real. Who’d do this. 😮

UhtredRagnarson · 24/04/2021 22:26

And for the PPs criticising the FIL’s hosting... he wasn’t actually hosting OP on this occasion!

Once he let them through the door he was hosting them.

KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 22:27

Wander, dh didn't think it fair we were excluded and he really wanted to see this family friend... He thought it was rude of them to exclude us.. We didn't stay long... He only wanted to say hi and chat for a little...

It's interesting how different houses do things!! I wouldn't think anything of it if my dp helped themselves to a glass and whatever alcohol was there.. It wouldn't occur to me to think about... The more the merrier..

And in their house, again I can freely help myself to drinks ect. In dh House it's much more than formal...

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 24/04/2021 22:27

@UhtredRagnarson

And for the PPs criticising the FIL’s hosting... he wasn’t actually hosting OP on this occasion!

Once he let them through the door he was hosting them.

No he wasn’t. He didn’t invite them to stay or even offer them drinks.
CommunistLegoBloc · 24/04/2021 22:27

How much champagne have you had?!

YABU.