Page 38 | Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

FinallyHere · 25/04/2021 16:48

OP was poured half a glass, then topped up but it was only half a glass.

Tricky.

CandyLeBonBon · 25/04/2021 16:48

@Hopeisnotastrategy

My cast member suggestions:

FIL - Peter Bowles in a smoking jacket
MIL - Joanna Lumley or Alison Steadman
Peter - Peter Beale or Larry Lamb
Jane - Penelope Wilton or Jane Asher
OP's DH - Nicholas Lyndhurst
OP - Is a tough one

Op is Joanna Lumley aka Patsy from AbFab

Floraflower3 · 25/04/2021 16:48

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Um...wtf? FFS, what did I just read?!? confused I have coke with ANY meal (ok, bar breakfast). Coke is purely a soft drink, just like lemonade or squash

I wouldnt have lemonade with a dinner either. I wouldn't drink tea or coffee with dinner either, if only because they reduce iron absorption from food.I only drink squash quite weak, so it's a much milder flavour with far less sugar than coke.

Are you seriously telling me you would be in a restaurant having a tasting menu dinner and you would order a vodka and coke? Or a cup of tea?

I don’t like wine, I can appreciate good food, so shoot me!

Fuck me there’s some wanky bastards around

NEVERENDINGST0RY · 25/04/2021 16:49

you turned up unannounced and "made eyes" to be served a drink. You also think you are entitled to it as his son got you pregnant. i imagine FIL thinks your an entitled CF and didnt want to share his drink with you.

Fieldoftheclothofgold · 25/04/2021 16:49

No, specifically that it’s unpleasant to invite over an old family friend who none of the family have seen for years, and to exclude one of two (adult) children who grew up knowing that friend

That depends on the situation. We don’t know enough about the situation. But we do know inviting yourself is bloody rude.

FinallyHere · 25/04/2021 16:49

OP doesn't sound like Joanna Lumley / Patsy to me. "Let's get out of here sweetie" doesn't sound like what we have heard of OP's style

CandyLeBonBon · 25/04/2021 16:50

"SchadenfreudePersonified
*It’s very clear they don’t think you worthy of their best champagne!

More like there's only 6 decent glasses in a bottle!"
Let's count the people there, OP can correct us.

Peter
Jane - gone to bed.
FIL
DH - not drinking.
OP
MIL - not mentioned afaik.
SIL & Husband - gone home.

So by my calculation, 3 maybe 4 people who were drinking. 1 bottle would be enough in normal circumstances*.

YOU FORGOT JOHN!

Ashard20 · 25/04/2021 16:51

They are in a bubble. That automatically excludes you and your dh.
But for future reference, next time turn up with a bottle of wine to celebrate the reunion amidst copious repeats of "We're not stopping, just wanted to say hi, how are you, lovely to see you again, here's a little something to help you push on through the night...etc" Smile profusely whilst clearly lingering away from the doorstep.
They'll either let you be on your way or invite you to join them for a quick chat without you settling down.
They are entitled to have guests without you.
Your whole problem could actually have been averted with a quick phone call a day or so earlier, asking if it would be ok to pop over for a quick ten minutes to say hello, with assurances that you didn't want to pop the bubble or stay too long.
Anything more than that smacks of you and dh trying to make a point.
If I were your fil, I would be annoyed that you arrived at a point where I was looking forward to some quality time spent reminiscing etc with an old friend.

mam0918 · 25/04/2021 16:52

Bubbles are for single adults. No single adults in this scenario so no.

no they arent... we are bubbled with both sets of parents, Im a legally recognised carer for one set (both recognised as needing high level care and both shielding) and the other are our childcare bubble so I can go be a carer for the other which I couldnt do while dragging around a baby and toddler.

Yes single adults can bubble, but thats not the only reason for bubbles.

purplecorkheart · 25/04/2021 16:53

Op would be the female version of Mick Garvey in the tv series Benidorm

BadMotherLover · 25/04/2021 16:54

Please remember Peter has a big build, and has built a successful business in some dodgy countries, maybe Daniel Craig, Idris Elba or Dave Bautista. Plus he also seduced MIL and is the biological parent of DH.

OP Miranda Hart?

BadMotherLover · 25/04/2021 16:56

@CandyLeBonBon

"SchadenfreudePersonified *It’s very clear they don’t think you worthy of their best champagne!

More like there's only 6 decent glasses in a bottle!"
Let's count the people there, OP can correct us.

Peter
Jane - gone to bed.
FIL
DH - not drinking.
OP
MIL - not mentioned afaik.
SIL & Husband - gone home.

So by my calculation, 3 maybe 4 people who were drinking. 1 bottle would be enough in normal circumstances*.

YOU FORGOT JOHN!

I forgot John. Sorry everyone! Oh the shame!

GlassBoxSpectacular · 25/04/2021 16:57

@mam0918

Bubbles are for single adults. No single adults in this scenario so no.

no they arent... we are bubbled with both sets of parents, Im a legally recognised carer for one set (both recognised as needing high level care and both shielding) and the other are our childcare bubble so I can go be a carer for the other which I couldnt do while dragging around a baby and toddler.

Yes single adults can bubble, but thats not the only reason for bubbles.

But SIL has famously failed to produce a grandchild from her immaculate fanny, so they’re not a childcare bubble.

SIL and/or DH could be carers for one or both of the PILs; if so, it puts a different spin on why they were invited to the meal.

But if the brand of champagne is too ‘outing’ to be revealed, I’m guessing the idiosyncrasies of their bubbling arrangements are as identifying as a DNA sample.

CandyLeBonBon · 25/04/2021 16:58

Oh I don't know @FinallyHere

Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

mam0918 · 25/04/2021 16:58

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Lol at Coca Cola overwhelming taste buds 🤣🤣

but it does, its litrally drain cleaner... everyone knows you should have Vodka and Pepsi instead lol

drumandthebass · 25/04/2021 16:58

It is the height of rudeness IMO. If he didn't want to share with anyone else he shouldn't have opened it. He sounds very unpleasant

CandyLeBonBon · 25/04/2021 16:59

Dishwashersaurous · 25/04/2021 17:03

I can’t actually believe that anyone would invite themselves to something that they had specifically been told that they were not wanted at.

Then have dozens of complete strangers be amazed at their rudeness.

Then not in any way reflect or consider their behaviour.

Surely this is a wind up

CaraherEIL · 25/04/2021 17:04

It’s like Cluedo, it was Professor Tightwad in the study with the champagne bottle.
Someone missing... Jane...gone to bed
Missing couple seen earlier at dinner SIL of the immaculate fanny.
We forgot John....who the hell is JOHN?
The plot thickens

TatianaBis · 25/04/2021 17:05

No, specifically that it’s unpleasant to invite over an old family friend who none of the family have seen for years, and to exclude one of two (adult) children who grew up knowing that friend.

I can’t imagine my parents ever doing something similar. It just wouldn’t happen. It’s amazing to me how many posters are obsessed with minor social niceties over this really quite significant unpleasantness.

Quite. They can’t see the wood for the trees.

Carryonlikeaporkchop · 25/04/2021 17:06

its litrally (sic) drain cleaner.

Is it? There's me thinking that it was a popular soft drink.

FinallyHere · 25/04/2021 17:06

Another voice saying you can't judge the situation about the son not being invited.

Notice that the son only found out by accident that the 'old friend' was coming.

Then the son was clearly not invited to the dinner.

And turns up with his DW anyway , and having seen her signals, pours his wife a glass from the bottle they had not been offered.

It could be DF is just horrible, but we are being given the DiL's version of events, from which we glean that there was a reason they were not invited snd turn up anyway and there seems to be a pattern of at least tackless if not CF behaviour.

Possible reasons, all equally plausible as swingers just getting going. Imagine if the old friend is visiting to share something to the detriment of the son? Shady business dealing, or even worse. Maybe just wanting to change his will or otherwise get some confidential advice

The event is dressed up as a family party, DD is primed and clears out early as agreed. Visitors wife decided to 'go up early' leaving the way clear for DF and old friend to have that confidential talk.

Who turns up, the son and DiL saying they just wanted to pop in and say hello. Hello is said. No drinks or other hospitality are offered, which as any full knows means 'it's time to go home'

DiL makes eyes at son, he pours her a glass (or half glass and top up - it's not clear ) and the painful silence stretches on.

Old Friend has limited opportunity for this private and confidential talk. He wonders why the privacy he was promised in the invitation has not materialised ? DF waits for son and DiL to take the hint.

It's not good is it?

TatianaBis · 25/04/2021 17:08

@Fieldoftheclothofgold

TatianaBis

I suppose that means be as rude as you like. The OP was.

Far from it. But I’m not surprised you asked.

Butwasitherdriveway · 25/04/2021 17:08

@KnittedJimmychoos

Fudged details in case the eye of sauron gets hold...

But Mil and fil had been entertaining their friends, say Peter and Jane... Dh and I came in after their meal... And fil opened a really nice bottle of champagne.. Dh and I sat down chatting and fil served his friend but not me?
I made eyes at dh so he got a glass and went to serve me a glass, dh was driving and also doesn't like it.. Fil suddenly looked panicked and asked who was driving, and as dh poured he tried to make sure it was a half glass even though dh said he was ie empty excuse ? Meanwhile he then took the bottle and topped up his fiend chatting happily!
Dh then took bottle to fill me up and again fil seemed panicky!!
I did say I only fancied one glass.. And he sort of sucked in his breath and looked at me like a five year old and said "this is a really good bottle".

For context there is no way on earth my df would ever serve one person like this and not another!
Maybe he got out this bottle and hadn't reckoned on us coming back but isn't this the height of rudeness?? The mother of his only grandchildren??

Pils live in house worth a few million, not London, are very well off.. Have a wine cupboard.. They also treat dh like this.. On other stuff... Ie this wasn't a treasured special bottle saved for anniversary they can't replace..
I'm not keen anyway but I felt this was so unpleasant! Your not good enough for me to give nice champagne too!
Can't say the make because its fudged details.

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!

Where to start.

You 'made eyes' at DH. Are you always this controlling ?

You :did say you only fancied one glass' are you always this entitled?

The mother of his only grandchildren

You crashed his evening with his friends, made your husband feel uncomfortable with your behaviour and YOURE the one left feeling miffed?

Ok.

PurBal · 25/04/2021 17:09

@KnittedJimmychoos

Slash, the very few times I've been out in public with fil, ordering drinks has been awkward, I have taken a lead and asked what they would like and fil has snatched the reigns off me and bull dozed to the bar BUT he then ordered what he felt we all wanted. So I didn't get the drink I wanted! It's happened a few times, in a restaurant he would just order the drink he felt was suitable and I have not been asked (nor dh of course) what we would actually like! Another time when it was hot and I was pregnant I went to the bar to order drinks and I personally wanted two fizzy waters. Fil again barnstormed me, insisting he would get them and then got me one fizzy water even though I had made it clear I really needed two. He sat drinking the second one in a very pointed way.

I don't see how this is relevant to your OP. But why ask for two? Surely you just order a large bottle of sparkling water? Or if you're happy with soda water, a pint? All seems super bizarre and gets more and more peculiar. Clearly your family and your DH family do things totally different from most people I know. But that's fine, we're all different. It's water though...