Guess what I've been sent...

[Kumquatsquash]

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

Ahh yes,asking the mn husband...that never ends well

Ok that settles it, I'm listing them tomorrow!

I am aware that the items on Alibaba are not ethically sourced. I was ordering raw crystals from a local company that has now gone under so it was just a stop gap until I found a new supplier.

Anyone genuinely wanting to buy a fanny please do message me! I was a bit disappointed when I opened the box as I need the raw crystals to make the item that I sell the most of. Hopefully crystal vulvas will be new bestseller and I can tell people I sell vaginas for a living

can't they just hold their own and think about women?
I mean I do that sometimes but that's just because I'm bi.

Is there a market for crystal cocks and penis steaming by the way or is it just us women who are supposed to detox our fanjos with crystals and herbs?

@TheChampagneGalop

can't they just hold their own and think about women? I mean I do that sometimes but that's just because I'm bi.

Is there a market for crystal cocks and penis steaming by the way or is it just us women who are supposed to detox our fanjos with crystals and herbs?

Crystal cocks are a thing. They are much cheaper than vulvas!

I hope I don’t regret asking,what do you need wee fannies for?candle mould?
Is a fanny candle,a la gwyneth

Beats a statue of Isis, eh?

Speaking of fannies, did anyone see that article about the creepy old bloke who somehow got into the Vagina Museum whilst they are on lockdown and refused to leave? A member of staff reportedly commented: 'he seems to like being here'.

World's full of cunts, innit?

Lapus Labuli!

@katieg03 I presume you haven't won the Twat of the Week award yet then?

I've had a quick google for ethically sourced crystal vaginas and it's not looking promising. If you can source some I think there's a definite gap in the market there.

That link to the steam throne thingy, further down was an advert for womb tea at about 80 quid.
80 fucking quid, to put in water and steam your bloody fanny.

@Lamentations

That's MIL's birthday present sorted then. How much OP?

Still Laughing at this!

@Kumquatsquash

If it was coke I wouldn't be posting pictures online! I'd be contacting that one dodgy ex I had years ago and planning a move to Thailand

Youd contribute to class a drug use all so you can live in thialand and possibly causing deaths. Yeah i bet you would. Not something to joke about really Drug trafficking..

This thread has cheered me up no end.

Been back over the thread. Got back to this:

Yoni Eggs are carved from crystals into the shape of eggs. They are inserted into the vagina for up to 12 hours per day for the purpose of strengthening the vaginal muscles, connecting with your Sacred femininity, and toning the pelvic floor.

But what if your pelvic floor isn’t up to it? Do you end up laying an egg in the middle of Sainsbury’s?

before I keeled over backwards, honking like a goose.

Slightly tragic reminder of how long it's been since I properly laughed. Thanks OP for some much-needed light relief!

[quote Ducksarenotmyfriends]I hate to be that person, but if you're bulk buying crystals from alibaba, they're likely mined by exploited workers, slaves and children. You might want to think about a more ethical, fair trade supplier. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/17/healing-crystals-wellness-mining-madagascar[/quote]
I was going be that person too. Wouldn’t a better stop-gap just be not selling crystals until you can find an ethical source?

Ethically sourced vaginal crystals???
For the love of god

Who the f**k buys these things???

There's some weird people out there!

Why do you need a "steam gown" when you sit on your "throne" and steam your fanjo with "womb tea"? So many questions...
www.etsy.com/se-en/listing/819827817/steam-gown

@Jacketpotato84

From Google:

Joke
/dʒəʊk/

noun

a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

@orlaquiver

This reminds me of my husbands stag night. They ordered him an inflatable penis outfit to wear but didn't open the Amazon box before going on the stag. What they got was boxes of muscle bulk protein powder, work out mats and sweat bands. Made my day thinking of some bloke ordering his new muscle building routine and instead getting a giant knob costume.

[quote BrightYellowDaffodil]@Jacketpotato84

From Google:

Joke
/dʒəʊk/

noun

a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.[/quote]
Yes and a joke is supposed to be funny. Like your comment

@Jacketpotato84 Get a grip dear.

[quote BrightYellowDaffodil]@Jacketpotato84 Get a grip dear.[/quote]

[quote BrightYellowDaffodil]@Jacketpotato84 Get a grip dear.[/quote]
Feel better now do you?

Best laugh I have had for a long time. Thanks all!

Giants’ sanitary towels?