Guess what I've been sent...

[Kumquatsquash]

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow

are these from the new upcoming action movie ...Indiana Jones and the Ali-express CrystalBajingos. ???

Or perhaps... Postman Pat and the Puzzle Parcels.

How much did you pay for them?

Rose quartz quim.

My friend & I have a random present competition going on. I think this might just win it for me!

I showed my DH this thread & his response was "what is it?!"

marks place in the Mystical Mimsy thread

thinks about having a shop/boat/musical on Broadway called 'The Whimsy of Mimsy'

Human Organ Transportation Box.

... so somewhere there's a surgeon in the middle of an operation looking, bewilderedly, at a fir cone that is covered with a glittery snow effect whilst the anesthetist thinks his nitrous oxide cylinder has sprunk a leak and they are all on another planet.

A Dildo with a difference then.

I dunno, some of those edges look sharp...

But what if your pelvic floor isn’t up to it?

Or prone to sudden sneezes, as your yoni egg bounces the length of the John Lewis beauty hall?

On a serious note Op, are they for sale? I would actually buy one for my desk in work. I made one out of clay and painted it but some bastard stole it

I'm assuming they will be too expensive to return.

They could sell well. I see two key markets:

• Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop-a-likes
• Old pervs with no fanny of their own.

This thread is brilliant

They look jelly moulds at first glance.

From what I've just now read, they are intended as meditation aids to contact the divine feminine. So basically you hold them and think about women

Haha, I told DH about this thread and he asked what the point of them was, so I read out the above. His response was "can't they just hold their own and think about women?"

Would it be too narcissistic to buy the one that looks like mine (no, I’m not saying which one) for DH to take with him when he’s working away, so he can stroke it and think of me..?

I so want one of these !!!

That’s amazing! I never knew this was a thing😂

Ive just realised they are all individual. How many fanjo fossils does someone have? I have an image of newspaper job advert:

" Fanjo molders required to create realistic clay moulds of female genetalia. Full training given, virgins need not apply due to lack of experience. "

Just realised it's Alibaba and the forty foofs.

Just caught up with this thread and I've caught the giggles.

Seriously, Fossilised fannies. Brilliant.

Ducksarenotmyfriends Thanks for posting that link, I have been wondering about the industry behind those trendy crystals.

Oh I do love this thread!

WTAF is THAT?!

what did you order? Fossilised fannies?
Oh that’s priceless

Oh OP I was having an awful day and your thread has just made me laugh hysterically for 30 minutes.
I kind of want one! But then I saw the thing about Alibaba being of unethical provenance. I'm now wondering if you can get them ethically sourced?

Haha it gets better Just realised it's Alibaba and the forty foofs

@Staffy1

From what I've just now read, they are intended as meditation aids to contact the divine feminine. So basically you hold them and think about women

Haha, I told DH about this thread and he asked what the point of them was, so I read out the above. His response was "can't they just hold their own and think about women?"

@Staffy1 not much makes me laugh out loud, but this really did!