Guess what I've been sent...

[Kumquatsquash]

Ordered some stock for my shop from Alibaba. As soon as I opened the box I suspected something was wrong as the wraps are bigger than expected. Can you guess what's in them?

A claim to fame op..
You have a mined minge!!
Several actually!!
How about a new nest of vipers?
Renamed..
The Mined Minge Mners...

@Couchbettato

Hey, does any one remember blue waffle 🤮

The pink ones aren't that bad though. Probably wouldn't buy my granny one though.

I was thinking bkue waffle too!!

I nominate for classics!

Fossilised Fannies

laying an egg in Sainsburys

I'm dying.

Lying in a hospital bed in awful pain here and despite the fact that it hurts even more when I laugh, I'm howling like a loon to myself They're going to haul me off for a psych assessment next if I don't start to control myself

Shame you can't link us to your shop 🤣

I'm going to take photos tomorrow and list them. I'll just quietly add them to my shop without posting on the social media page because I'm a pussy coward.

The only problem is, how the hell do I stage the photos? Should I cup them lovingly in my hands? That seems to be the preferred presentation method on Etsy. Arrange them in a protective circle around myself? A free vagina to whoever comes up with the best theme for my fanny photoshoot!

Sorry, vulva. They didn't come with the internal parts.

Personally I'd inappropriately lay a finger (or 2) where necessary.

I think you should lay naked with goddess like accessories in your hair and have them in a circle of feminine protection surrounding you, with one single vulva laying in your hands which protect your own and have the photo taken from above.. princess kumquat of the cunt kingdom 👑

Don’t arrange them on a shag pile carpet !

Or like this (replace orange segment with vulva) and change the background colour to match the crystal

I reckon there's an analyst at Amazon wondering why sales of plaster of Paris has gone through the roof.

Many Mumsnetters plotting their own Lockdown crafts of Poor Man's Crystal vulvas.

Oh, they're quite pretty. I reckon if you described them as crystal shells , you could shift them without upsetting granny.

@ChaosTrulyReigns

I reckon there's an analyst at Amazon wondering why sales of plaster of Paris has gone through the roof.

Many Mumsnetters plotting their own Lockdown crafts of Poor Man's Crystal vulvas.

Ay, well, if it keeps the kids busy...

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend.

But...but why do they have little dots all over the flaps?!?! Fannies with chicken pox?!?

Omg fossilised fannies and track my minge had me howling but the image in my head of some lass in front of me in the Sainsbury's queue sneezing and laying a crystal egg has finished me off I'm crying

@TheSockMonster

Would it be too narcissistic to buy the one that looks like mine (no, I’m not saying which one) for DH to take with him when he’s working away, so he can stroke it and think of me..?

After airport customs rifles through suitcase “Ok sir it tests negative for drugs, so what do you actually do with it?”

I genuinely want a rose quartz fanny now. How much are you flogging them for, OP?

You know when I read the thread title I guessed “a dick pic”, turns out I was pretty close in an opposite kinda way

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend

Do you have any empty water bottles? I was looking for a new bottle and saw these www.asos.com/psychic-sisters/psychic-sisters-rose-quartz-crystal-water-bottle/prd/13839804?colourwayid=16570343&SearchQuery=water%20bottle

A possible, title, a vulva on the rocks x

@Puzzledandpissedoff

Does anyone know how to get rock hard plaster of paris off of pubes ? Asking for a friend

Trim the pubes, unless there rocking the rock party

[quote Tambourinetunes]Do you have any empty water bottles? I was looking for a new bottle and saw these www.asos.com/psychic-sisters/psychic-sisters-rose-quartz-crystal-water-bottle/prd/13839804?colourwayid=16570343&SearchQuery=water%20bottle[/quote]
Most recent review: IT LEAKS AT THE BOTTOM.