Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

@im5050 I wonder if that was my mother!

I don’t know if this is really what you’re looking for, but I remember on a thread about famous people you fancy, someone said Cillian Murphy’s face looked like a freshly waxed vagina!

Oh blimey it made me laugh! Think about it every time he’s on telly!

One years ago about trivial annoying things your husband does. A woman described her husband turning over in bed "flapping like a great salmon"

I was going to quote the fox bum one but I see Genuine has already done so. It was absolutely brilliant.

And for really old MNers the classic
"I AM Canadian" - you had to be there

@MissisBee

One years ago about trivial annoying things your husband does. A woman described her husband turning over in bed "flapping like a great salmon"

Cracking up/I relate

A post I remember is one where Gregg Wallace was described as looking "like a thumb" I can't look at him now without sniggering.

The clothing / style one when the post said she looked like a fat match.

The one where the poster described herself as looking like suzy quatros nan when she put a leather jacket on

I was going to say dressing gown of doom too. Still absolutely cracks me up

Brilliant idea for a thread.

I read one earlier - parking thread, there was a “drive” but no dropped curb...“That’s not a drive, that’s just a patio with aspirations”

A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.

Brilliant!!

I recently saw one where a poster stated that even though they had a 7 figure income, they still wouldn't spend much on their DC at xmas.

I mean, I don't doubt some people do, but it seemed a very MN thing to say.

Also the one where a poster said they had tested Johnson's "no more tears" shampoo by rubbing it into their own eyes, before using it on their PFB's head

The recent one where the OP had received a sex toy she'd ordered but the packaging was torn and she thought it may have been used. Another poster replied along the lines of 'I've wondered why my yodel deliveries are always late'.

Holy shit in a Pyrex dish is a new favourite. 😂

Mostly the ones mentioned already.

The sex fox in the bushes was HILARIOUS.

As was Suzy Quattro’s fat Nan.

There are some very funny MNers.

I still love “no I’M Angela Hernandez”

[quote Pepperwand]@Raera I think I remember that one. Was it a no parking sign the neighbour had put up and she kept going out and putting tinsel and little figurines on it? I remember her children were trying to guess who was doing it and she was keeping the secret brilliantly.[/quote]
That was this brilliant thread I think, loved it especially for the immortal line she says to her neighbour!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3456654-To-decorate-my-neighbour-s-new-no-parking-outside-my-door-signs-with-a-bit-of-tinsel

Also the thread where the OP claimed she'd shagged her DC's teacher at parents' evening and wanted to know should she tell her husband. One poster replied 'Yes, ideally in the Queen Vic on Christmas Day'. I think it did turn out to be a troll thread in the end.

Snapped and farted still gives me the giggles

Greg Wallace DOES actually look like a thumb 😂😂😂

@DCIHoops I remember that thread it was
Great

I am Canadian was brilliant. Was that the one where the OP was accusing her DH of not putting up the stair gate correctly?

Not quite the OPs directive but the thread that still sums up MN for me is the cross OP in a doctors surgery whose toddler was playing up told him to “stop being a whiny tinker” but the words which actually came out in the hushed waiting room was “stop being a tiny wanker” 😂

"Does she have a tin plated fanny?"

That was a reply for an OP who was discussing her friend complaining about not getting an hour of PIV sex with her new partner, like she did with a previous partner. It still makes me snigger.

Oh, and some described David Cameron as looking like a "Freshly wanked cock." He was PM at the time.

I loved the one this week about DH farting on the new sofa, and someone said to put a puppy pad down for him

[quote nancybotwinbloom]@DCIHoops I remember that thread it was
Great [/quote]
‘You have to make time for the important things Kath’