Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

My favourite thing I've ever read on here is a woman who went swimming and clearly had baby brain because she forgot to put her bottoms on. She sat on the side of the pool holding said baby and her DH hissed "Jane! Your minge!"

Oh yes the "fat match" comment from Mumbod:

"A horrendously short pixie crop that I inexplicably had dyed orange. I looked like a fat match."

@TerribleLizard I came on to say that exact same thread 😂

Ahh I had such a good one for a thread like this. Naturally I've forgotten it.

My favourite was one about something quite technical, I think scientific with lots of (mostly female) professionals that worked in the related field on it and someone piped up with "well my husband thinks..." l. Husband was a lot less qualified than most of the professionals on the thread. A poster responded "stop the thread everyone, someone's husband has spoken".

"That would clamp my fanny shut like a bear trap".

"Bloody hell, it's Colonal Gadaffi!" had me in fits. Another vote for Patio with aspirations from today's thread - absolute vintage MN

Sometimes, when I've had a bad day, I like to pull up the screaming at the Michaelangelo thread. It still gets me.

There was one a while ago about a poster who said her husband was giving her oral one day. As he was down there, she darted and he looked up and said "you've just given me a centre parting".

I howled 😂😂😂

Ah, farted* obvs. Stupid autocorrect

Can’t believe no ones mentioned penis beakers yet 😬

I'm in so much pain from laughing, thank you so much to everyone on this thread!

The one where the OP husband ate the fat balls from the fridge 😂

Defo penis beakers!! I cried laughing at that

And the fat balls one comedy gold 😂😂

Cos penis beakers was utter shit. Not remotely funny.

Pagwatch's autocorrect disaster when she told her dh they were having 'anus anus' for dinner.
A sound described 'like Frances De la Tour coughing into a bin'

Thread about two women in wheelchairs having an argument or a scrap.

Quick as a flash, poster below says 'Are you in Scotland OP?'

Your minge and I am Canadian!

Fat match, Suzi Q's Nan, uncouth Cypriot goat herder- from the expectation v reality thread.

Someone being told they sounded "like an absolute scrubber" I can't remember what the thread was about but I hadn't heard that as an insult for many a year and it made me laugh.

If I remember correctly, the background to this was a poster complaining about swearing on MN. One of the replies was ‘Off you fuck, then, cuntychops.’

There was also the poster who, I think, has something stuck fast to her hob. One poster suggested she try sex lube and a fish slice.

And yes to ‘your minge’ and ‘I’m Angela Hernandez’.

Literally howling at this thread 😂

I loved the thread started my a young fella who wanted to give all us ‘ladies’ advice on using IT.

You can imagine how that went. The best comment went something like,

‘Thank God you’re here. I’ve just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best.’

Does anyone remember the Pom bear/ dinner party fiasco?

My glasses are steamed up I’m laughing so much and I still haven’t got through all the posts 🤓

[quote kyssedbyfyre]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3288349-people-keep-having-sex-in-my-hedge?pg=3[/quote]
I cried laughing at this

One that has passed into common usage in our family.

The poster had sold her dining room chairs but the table remained and was a source of annoyance.

She described it as sitting there like a cunt.

I liked the one where a MNer was out and saw her parents driving past. When they saw her, they smiled and made a wanking gesture at her.

It turned out they had a neighbour who didn’t like them and who made this gesture at them. The parents were oblivious to his dislike and thought it was a new way of waving hello. So they’d drive around merrily making wanking gestures at everyone they knew.