Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

@LunaNorth

I loved the thread started my a young fella who wanted to give all us ‘ladies’ advice on using IT.

You can imagine how that went. The best comment went something like,

‘Thank God you’re here. I’ve just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best.’

Oh, I'd love to read this! Anyone have a link?

It's on page 10 of this very thread.

@cataclysmiclife

My favourite was 'Penetration man' a thread where the op had met a guy and he'd whispered 'penetration' in her ear thinking it would turn her on. The whole thread was pure gold!

Oh god, this had me crying

Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4080968-Can-I-just-invite-you-to-have-a-laugh-at-my-exh-Youll-like-this
This thread I'm currently reading, OMG!

My absolute favourite was when the OP was complaining her kids had stretched out on her just changed bed linen in their outdoor clothes. One poster commented My cat always lies on my bed in his outdoor fur... the bastard!

That just tickled me and we tell the cat to get off the bed in her outdoor fur.

Oh thank you all.

I'm halfway through this thread.

I'm having such an awful time at the moment but this has me actually wiping away tears with laughter.

@Lorddenning1 ha that was me! It all ended in curry and a hangover and has been all quiet on the ex wanker front since

@WankPuffins the story is crazy, plus everyone else's stories too, I mean I thought my ex was bad with my kids and he is but not as bad as PP
I will contribute to your thread later, but like I said I'm not sure it's in the same level, Karma did get him though in the end

"Wankpuffin".

My new favourite word.

the one a few years back about an MN'r in a senior position at work and being mansplained to by a new hire (I think) The MNr in question titled him a Shart Goblin which perfectly summed him up and the thread was brilliant.
Also yes to the PP who mentioned the lady in the bus and the fly wheel and not one of us had a clue what OP was on about. Ever helpful suggestions from readers but she just got more and more wound up and flounced off the thread....never did find out what she was on about!

@Cattenberg

I liked the one where a MNer was out and saw her parents driving past. When they saw her, they smiled and made a wanking gesture at her.

It turned out they had a neighbour who didn’t like them and who made this gesture at them. The parents were oblivious to his dislike and thought it was a new way of waving hello. So they’d drive around merrily making wanking gestures at everyone they knew.

Omg this is the funniest thing I've ever read on here! Jesus Christ

@TR888

I remember a hilarious thread about random substitutes in supermarket home deliveries. One poster ordered raspberries and she got raspberry-flavoured condoms 😂.

In another supermarket thread, people were having a laugh at the text messages you get to let you know your shopping it's on it's way. One poster had a message saying that their delivery man (who was Portuguese) would soon be arriving: "Jesus will be bringing your shop at X time" - cue remark: "only in Ocado".

Jesus in the Cabbage Van 👳‍♀️

@MaddeningtheUnhelpful

The one where there was an Irish lady, I think it was a bin situation. Anyway she put out Officer Olaf loved that thread

Omg I remember that one! Just the vision of her neighbours returning home to Olaf sat there in their parking space in a hi-vis!!!! 😄😄😄😄

Oh my life this thread is hilarious, thank you!! I started reading last Thursday and lost it, so happy I found it again! Have to share my my two faves..

The one where a woman is complaining that a man is getting naked in the swimming pool changing room with his children, saying it is in appropriate etc only to reveal later in the thread that SHE is in the MEN's changing room. Absolute must read!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3754015-bare-bum-in-dressing-room-aibu?watched=1

And the other is a fantastic thread of next door neighbour funnies, there are soo many in it but my fave has to be the neighbour that asked to mow the poster's front lawn, because he had no grass, but then proceeded to plant shrubs and cut the dividing hedge so he could see in to her garden. You won't be disappointed!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3690736-ndn-funnies-tell-me-i-m-not-the-only-one-lol

Does anyone remember the time Chaos cifed her fanjo while cleaning the bathroom? (Oh Chaos where art thou?).
And the poster's DD who pooed on next doors pouffe?
This thread has reminded me of some brilliant posts over the years.

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving!

The thing that tickled me about the name change fail thread was the typo "my vagine is itching like mad", which I instantly said in my head with a French accent.

Also, anyone remember the Fanny Condensation thread?

This thread is brilliant. I'm literally weeping with mirth. Thank you!

Oh, poo on the pouffe! And the pouffe in question was both hideous (even pre-poo) and eye-wateringly expensive. OP was very, very funny. Did we ever see a resolution? How did the neighbours take the news?

@Mrsfrumble I think the neighbour was understanding (about possibly unspecified "damage") and OP bought a new one, but I could be wrong...

Throughly enjoying the neighbour request thread! Glad I don't live next to any miserable bastards or crazies

Afternoon, everyone. We've had several nominations for this thread to go into Classics so we've shifted it over now.

@hebemumsnet this is like a rabbit hole 😂

A thread about threads, mostly in classics, being moved to classics 😂😂

A thread about threads, mostly in classics, being moved to classics

Ooh, is that like when your hoover gets all dusty or dirty and the simplest way to remedy it is by drawing on its own strength from within?! We once knew somebody with an extremely 'keen' interest in hygiene. She would buy the shrink-wrapped packs of a dozen bottles of antibac spray from the cash and carry and then use a bottle of antibac spray from a previous dozen-pack to spray the pack before opening it. She also liberally sprayed toilet rolls and left them all crusty and had you reminiscing about the old Bronco bogrolls we used to have at school!

Maybe MN needs a new 'Entropy' category to cover classics threads reminiscing about classics and people asking what they need to Google to find information on something specific

@HebeMumsnet

I'm honoured! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

well done mrsmarrio