Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

My favourite ever was on the Jeremy Kyle show not MN. “ if this is a competition, and he is the prize. Why did u both enter?” Pmsfl so Savage

It bloody was not! 😂 Howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway was one of my old usernames, ya cheeky bugger! 😂😂

I promise you it was me! But not under a username that's anything like that, under a different one. It was maybe five or six years ago? Maybe we both made the same joke?

Thanks for reminding me of the anal bleaching thread! It had me in fits at the time. Someone even wrote new lyrics to “Whiter Shade of Pale” on that thread. I must try and find it in classics.

I know, because I screencapped it and whatsapped it to my friend group with a message saying, "Mumsnet famous at last."

Snapped and farted was only funny when it seemed as though it was a typo. The IBS thing didn't make sense and the way the OP responded made me think it was an attention seeking troll.

12/02/2015 21:51HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway

Oh thank GOD you're here! Thank you SO much. I've been using these magic boxes for over 20 years without a CLUE what I'm doing. I remember when the demon known as the internet came into my house. you'd have been about 5 back then. I have been keeping the evil at bay with chicken legs and candles. Thank goodness you've arrived.

Back when my job involved working on these machines all day, I just bashed them with my tits and hoped for the best.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to get on here, tbh. I was dusting it one day and all this stuff appeared.

TitBashGate

Absolute gold. I love the parents making wanking gestures to say hello.

Thanks BullshitVivienne

The thread about how youblookbon zoom calls- someone commented she looked like Kim Hong Il. Still makes me chuckle now

Does anyone remember the thread where the OP was encouraged to arrange a date at a penguin enclosure at a zoo?

crying at some o f these stillreading the tinternet thread

is that bloke for real

@AaronCardigan

I found Mumsnet because I had as going through a miscarriage. I decided to stick around when I found a thread about staged washing up areas and a stunt pineapple. I knew I had found my people.

Stunt pineapple is a belter-iirc, the owner /operator of the pineapple felt very slightly ashamed? I hope she is vindicated by it’s fame and the fact that I, and I guess many others, still refer to all pineapples as stuntpineapples

Its. My autocorrupt is a vulgarian

I remember one poster complaining about her friend locking the bathroom door as she and her two children kept coming in to use it and op did not want the kids to use the upstairs toilet as there was too many stairs . They were on holiday in a cottage , turns they each had own bathrooms. one of the comments that someone put down made me giggle .
''my kids use an upstairs bathroom at home , I have been told with some therapy they get over it with time '' or something along those lines -lolz

'Boil in the vag' soooooo funny

The one with the Penis beaker

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

@GenuineKlatchianPottery

A thread that’s now in classics. OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge. Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes” OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.

Snorting

@TerribleLizard I just snorted with laughter at that mum taking off one of her own layers. Love it.

@TomHanksintheMoneyPit

It bloody was not! 😂 Howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway was one of my old usernames, ya cheeky bugger! 😂😂

I promise you it was me! But not under a username that's anything like that, under a different one. It was maybe five or six years ago? Maybe we both made the same joke?

The only way to settle this fight, is to change your username to the username attributed to the original post...

A thread about men over-complaining when they're ill made me laugh so much - I think it included mention of men wearing 'the dressing gown of doom' and, my favourite, that when he felt really bad, out came 'the scarf of certain death'

Yes, it was kind of mean. But also hilarious!

@FlouncerInDenial

You can drop the 'denial', go on, flounce like a fox, pretending to be a hedgehog, don't even wait for the finger.

I can't cos I deregged !

Here is the thread being talked about - I am everything you hate about people on the internet, I am here to help.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2307274-I-am-everything-you-hate-about-people-on-the-internet-I-am-here-to-help?pg=1

My comment
12/02/2015 21:51HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway

Oh thank GOD you're here! Thank you SO much. I've been using these magic boxes for over 20 years without a CLUE what I'm doing. I remember when the demon known as the internet came into my house. you'd have been about 5 back then. I have been keeping the evil at bay with chicken legs and candles. Thank goodness you've arrived.

Back when my job involved working on these machines all day, I just bashed them with my tits and hoped for the best.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to get on here, tbh. I was dusting it one day and all this stuff appeared

Do you have two sons, both with autism, one with erbs palsy too?
Talking about my kids autism

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2305012-Potty-Toilet-training-an-ASD-child

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2287818-Is-it-unusual-for-a-child-with-Aspergers-to-love-cuddles

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2297338-ASD-Did-you-would-you-have-another-child
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_educational_needs/2301939-A-quick-Question-to-anyone-with-or-a-parent-of-a-child-with-ASD

Shoulder dystocia
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_health/2275491-Shoulder-dystocia

No fighting btw. It's rather funny that I feel I need to prove it 😂

Now I’m overly invested. Maybe this was your comment @TomHanksintheMoneyPit?

all EmpressOfJurisfiction Thu 12-Feb-15 21:54:12
Bashed them with your tits, HowCanIMissYou? I spend all this time debugging and running tests, and I could just be bashing the computers with my tits?