Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

Anyone remember the 'fly seat on the bus' thread......

Fashionistas in a taxi queue

This is one of my favourite threads of all time. Op wanted to push to the front of a taxi queue because she had kids it was very funny.

The post on p2 of the linked thread is definitely not mine, mine was on a really short thread. So I concede defeat, and with my apologies, but I definitely made a very similar comment on a separate thread at some point.

Great minds think alike maybe?

penis beaker op was so shocked noone else used one

and she used one too when ttc? i dont thin i wanna know

Whenever I need cheering up I think about baby Balonz

Yes!! Also, this quote:

Can you imagine the hours of sad-eyed Balonz hopelessly twirling the displays that have named mugs/fridge magnets/handkerchiefs/buckets and spades/hair clips/purses etc that reside in every gift shop in the land?

Mind you, at least there won't be any sibling rivalry/sulking because Data found her name on a novelty octopus.

@TomHanksintheMoneyPit

The post on p2 of the linked thread is definitely not mine, mine was on a really short thread. So I concede defeat, and with my apologies, but I definitely made a very similar comment on a separate thread at some point.

Great minds think alike maybe?

Oh absolutely 😁

I was once told to go back to rocking in the corner and eating pot noodles because I laughed at somebody who bought like 30 bottles of zoflora on a Mrs hinch page.

Also saw someone once say that milk won't quench your thirst because it is a food

@Echobelly

A thread about men over-complaining when they're ill made me laugh so much - I think it included mention of men wearing 'the dressing gown of doom' and, my favourite, that when he felt really bad, out came 'the scarf of certain death'

Yes, it was kind of mean. But also hilarious!

The shuffling slippers of sadness

The questionable jogging bottoms with the saggy crotch.

ShellsandSand That was Bupcakes, who name changed before asking advice about her itchy lady bits. Only she hadn't actually name changed, it was one of the funniest threads ever. That and the lady who was camping with her kids and the couple in the next tent were having a loud sex session. When the questioning got difficult she pretended to pass out. Brilliant.

OMG BALONZ! How could I forget 😂😂😂

They couldn’t decide between Sean, Daniel and.... BALONZ. Apparently Balonz was not unusual where OP came from. Which was Surrey. Absolutely brilliant.

Absolutely howling at these 😂

I think it’s in Classics, but for me it was the thread about looking after a friend’s daughter for a day/night. Not sure if it was true or not, but it was so well written and descriptive that I didn’t really care.

Can anyone else remember the woman with the shop who had got a privately educated saturday boy?

SHe went on and on about how wonderful he was, the way his hair waved etc etc.

Then she got arsey at comments and demanded her details were deleted and kept on demanding and giving more details while everyone said, "report your post".

The OP came back to let us know Balonz (nn Onzo), and his big sister, Data had a little brother or sister on the way but, unless I missed it, I don’t think we ever found out the name?

@BalloonSlayer

The toothpicks one might have been from a post I read where the poster described her ExDH, who had left her due to a midlife crisis. Despite having rather a large beer belly, the midlife crisis had extended to him wearing skinny jeans. He looked, she said like " a planet on toothpicks."

Ah, yes...you're right, thank you. Wonderful

My favourite was 'Penetration man' a thread where the op had met a guy and he'd whispered 'penetration' in her ear thinking it would turn her on. The whole thread was pure gold!

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

OMG this is a completely brilliant thread! I’ve had to stop reading at page 2 and save it for another time, I’ve got a herniated disc and I’m laughing so hard it’s making my sciatica hurt really badly!

Years ago read one where the dh would strip to the waist and bang his chest and do a Tarzan yowl and run through the house. Op in moment of madness did the same )also topless) to be met with horrified looks from the dh and their builder who were sitting at the kitchen table looking at plans. Proper laughed at that.

Also the fact v reality thread howler after howler. One where the dh said the poster looked like an escapee from a home for distressed gentlewomen or similar. Very funny.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

That is hilarious!

The woman who responded to letchy wolf-whistling builders high up on scaffolding by shouting "WILLY, WILLY, WILLY!!!!!!" at them, at the top of her voice

There was a thread about (I think) embarrassing farting incidents and a poster said they did a fart that sounded like it had a question mark at the end. Brilliant!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

And the woman who told her to buy the sex toy because it’s so much easier to clean!