Great works of literature ruined by a single sentence

[Blandmum]

Idea stolen from the Time ed website

'Hey Godot, you're early!'

who the feck wants to go to moscow? I'm happy here right enough.

Chekhov, three sisters.

mephistopheles..

LUCY:But I did go into a strange land through the wardrobe .

PETER: Oh lucy have you been stealing the old gentlemans medication again

It is a truth universally acknowledged, than a single man in possession of a large fortune should not move to the country and meet a family of young women with no prospects at all.

P+P

Message withdrawn

Although Tom's brother had measles, it was thought that he might as well get it over with as well, so he didn't get sent to his weird aunt and uncle's house.

Tom's Midnight Garden.

Mr and Mrs Pevensey couldn't decide whether to evacuate the children or not, and their vacillation unfortunately meant that they were all killed in the blitz.

The lion w and w again.

"Mother says we mustn't go into the wood for fear of scraping our knees and making our aprons dirty, Fanny, so let's stay in the garden and make mud pies"

The Magic Faraway Tree.

what is this 'magic faraway tree' of which you all speak?

Winne the Poo sat happily in the woods eating his honey, along came a stripy bouncing tiger and ate him.

We're all going on a Bear Hunt!

Ugh, can't we just play on the Wii instead?

Yeah, OK.

rose are red
violets are blue
mummy is on mumsnet
cbeebies is on for you

not great literature but true none the less

He tore open his letter from the Medical Ethics Commission, eager to hear the fate of his research proposal. "Dear Dr Frankenstein," he read, "With regret we can not..."

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it.

--David Copperfield

I was feeling a bit fed up at school, so I went on a gap year with the VSO in Kenya.

--The Catcher in the Rye

"A handbag?"

"Yeah, £3.50, Matalan"

Charley Bucket's family were very poor, so they applied for working family tax credits. His mother read MN and wouldn't buy him a bar of chocolate for his birthday, they had a big bowl of Quinoa instead.

Found this thread in a search, and think it deserves resurrecting.
I'll kick off:

"Blimey, a talking wolf!", thought Red Riding Hood, "No wonder Grandma wanted these brownies hand-delivered"

and

"I'm sorry, Mr Boleyn, as lovely as both your daughters are, I take my marriage vows very seriously"

Over to you?

Oh yes, yes ,yes. This was a brilliant thread. I will get my thinking cap on.

"This edition of Finnegans Wake has been edited by the Plain English Society."

Oh don't tell me you believe what 3 old crones told you? Its bad enough that you read your horoscope everyday. .
Macbeth

"An older woman! in London!" exclaimed Tess. "A sordid 48 hour affair! Good heavens, and I felt guilty!"

Sorry Mmme Bovary - your credit rating is not good enough. I'll only accept cash.

"Let's stop all this overanalysing, Gwenny, and just get married," said Daniel. "Bugger Palestine."

Daniel Deronda.

"Mum, some nutter's been putting anonymous letters in the mailbox again. Shall I just bin 'em?"

Sophie's World

"Could I just double-check that the booking is for a childfree hotel?

Death in Venice