Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

[Whatusernamecanihave]

For the love of god please just co operate! I know your teacher is better than me but shit happens this is what you've got, now please do the maths task instead of telling your sister that frogs are nicer than her...... I'm not a fan of home education pmsl

[pinkmagic1]

I miss work!

[Lindy2]

I've just put the post out in the garden to air for the day.

[Helpmechangemymindsetplease]

Wash your hands after touching the shopping bag handles as I touched them with my hands that had been pushing the trolley round the supermarket.

[Redbrook]

Said to my DH at about 10:30 - It’s nearly lunchtime, make some soup with that left over swede.

[YellowCorvette]

"Do you think we should wear our DIY dust masks to Tesco's today?"

[RoLaren]

Oh thank God, I found a bottle of Calpol in a shop!

[BruceAndNosh]

Yes please I'd love to buy just 3 eggs

[RedskyAtnight]

(on walk with DD)
"Ooh look - it's a person!"

(DD is 14)

[emilybrontescorsett]

"I don't care which side you have your parting, and I'm not a hairdresser so this will look how it does. "
To my dd when she asked me to curl her hair.
Her equally surprising reply: " Yep that looks good mum, thanks. "
Funniest thing I've seen today: On the news the goats running loose in Wales.

[tallah]

"Person ahead, two metre rule!" Then crossed the street!

[scarbados]

I'll have to finish the cider tonight. We need the fridge space.

[Bouledeneige]

You touched the button! (Pedestrian crossing)

Are they related? (3 guys playing football in the park)

[YukoandHiro]

"I'm going out for my Boris walk. Just stick DD in front of the tv for a bit"

Depressing

[Lordfrontpaw]

Where is it? Doused in dettol and sitting in the bath. Don’t touch it!

Where can I buy a p95 respirator?

Pasta! They have pasta!

[gingerbeerandlemonade]

You can't go to the park today.

Don't waste your milk- we don't have lots.

No I can't make play dough as I have no flour.

Have you got the gloves? The postman has been.

Oooo yay! I've found a packet of chicken breasts at the back of the freezer!

[JustFrustrated]

No you can't have a banana, have this chocolate bar instead.

The 7yr old asked if she could have a banana for snack, we only have three left and she'll want one tomorrow.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

Him- I've got 18 toilet rolls AND 2 packs of paracetamol!

Me- come in quick before you get mugged.

[Reginabambina]

We’d better leave early today incase we get stopped by the police.

We did not.

[longcoffee]

Omg, you bought me loo roll for my birthday! I lOVE YOU!

[mynameiscalypso]

I just sent a text to my way too cool younger brother that said: 'Mum and Dad said you bought a really good jigsaw today. Where was it from?'

[Helpmechangemymindsetplease]

Him- I've got 18 toilet rolls AND 2 packs of paracetamol!

Me- come in quick before you get mugged.

[Hoppinggreen]

I miss doing the school run

[Shitsgettingcrazy]

'Someone is going round our estate posting notes, that say 'NHS says stay in. Emma says fuck off!' Through key workers doors at 1am. Do we even know a Emma Round here?...what a dickhead'

Said to dp 5 mins ago when my neightbour rang me to to tell me.

[Samtsirch]

You will have to take the dog out, I am still in my jimjams and dont have my outdoor face on.