Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

My DH photographed the toilet rolls and sent me a picture from the supermarket the other day

Asked DH (Head of Toilet Roll Crisis Monitoring) how many we have left today and he said 6 and I said we need to start planning how we are going to get more. He said it's fine we can leave it. I replied but what if we go onto a stricter lockdown like Spain's, we need more toilet roll as there's none in our nearest shop and DS (ASD) goes toilet roll fast. Then DH remembered he had hidden a secret 7th roll.

This thread just came up on my Facebook feed.

I is famous 😎👌

My hubby is using the powdered coffee creamer instead of milk . I know we will need this. Can I give him back to his rellies after 40 yrs ? Please ? Jk. lol (really...) lol

I really hope that when I wake up tomorrow, Boris Johnson is back to running the country.

To a random friendly dog in the park today: ‘ah, bless you! You don’t understand social distancing, do you?’

To DH as I set off to the park: ‘I’m just off for my designated exercise ration.’

"I ate my dinner in the kitchen whilst I was clearing up" - me to my DCs when they were eating their dinner so they didn't know I hadn't had any. When I cooked it there wasn't enough for 3 people so I let them have it.

bonnieclydesdale where abouts are you and can I perhaps send food to you?

That's extremely kind of you to offer but no thank you.

"Stay in your bedrooms everyone, fat nudey lady on the prowl"

Although I've been saying that quite a bit lately, when I come in from a late shift (healthcare) and take all my clothes off at the front door and head straight for the shower.

Ooh I should wash my hair and get dressed more often .....

I Wearing a bit of perfume and dh comes behind me said I smell nice... lets just say it set him off .... afterwards he asked why the perfume I said I wanted to feel human... i then actually got dressed and wore Jeans... it set him off again.. the dirty git....

Also... no you cant play in the garden with bobby, and no he cant have tea at our house today..... we are social distancing...... TO MY DOG! 🙈 who had his paws up on the fence wanting to play with his best friend and they where both giving me the eyes..... I felt so mean

well done op for the classics

i woke up thinking of boris-oh dear

Shit. OMG I hope Boris is alright.

Never in a billion trillion years could I ever have imagined myself saying that.

I have a craving for fresh green veggies

DD (14) just came out of her room saying I'm on a conference call to air cadets, please stop being so loud to DH.

Meanwhile the cat was delighted DH had a conference call just to see her and she walked back and forth across the keyboard many times.

"Sorry gals, I can't video call on Wednesday night, I've got another video call scheduled then"

Insert toddler name here! Stop eating the letter from Boris!!

‘Mr Dazzle’s at another house party in the dining room.’

Last week I shouted at an old man “Get on your rainbow!” (The 2 metre spaces are marked by rainbows on the ground in the queue outside the supermarket).

I've run out of bleach
Alexa can you talk to me
Of course you can dress up as spider man for government approved exercise

Will there be any toilet roll or kitchen towel left in Tesco?

Come on dd it's time for school on the telly.
Leo Varadker is a legend.

We can get milk at five as the cows will have been milked by then. (Joking to ds when he wanted to know when we can get milk from the farm shop)

Please leave the mail on the doorstep! I can't open the door! - yelled to postie through the door.

There's more than 10 people in that person's backyard. Wonder if the police will be called.