Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

“See, the kids are drinking water. And all it took was putting them in prison”

Dd1 (age 4) playing with her doctors kit, stethoscope on my chest. It’s not good (solemn expression), I’m afraid you’ve got Coronavirus.

DH (very disapprovingly) "Number 7 are having ANOTHER delivery. It was Tesco on Monday, Asda yesterday and now it's Iceland. And there's only the two of them!!"

My bed is empty!

Those quarantining post, is it not easier to just open it and then give your hands a good wash? Leaving it around just increases the opportunities for someone to touch it.

Don’t touch that hedge! As DD was running her hand along a privet as we walked

To DH this morning as he left for work (he’s a doctor on the frontline)

“See you later darling, I’ll crack on with making those PPE visors for you today”

A few more mornings with Joe and we’ll be able to do a proper push up

'Did you wash this beer can? It doesn't smell very bleachy.'

"If you grow out of your shoes, we'll just have to cut the toes off..."
"No, not your toes, you ninny."

Partner, In the garden the other night
"Theres a plane in the sky"

Me: When the nurse comes tomorrow, if you get the door before me, make sure she has gloves and mask on before she walks in the door

Morning, everyone. We've been asked to move this over to Classics a few times now, so we're shifting it over for posterity. Hopefully one day we'll all look back on this thread and it will all seem like a dream!

Me to DS: English have sent through an English writing competition as the literacy festival has shut. You don't have to do it, it's an optional extra. Write 500 words on this theme.

DS: I may do it if I get very, very bored and that may well happen soon. But 500 words I can't keep to 500 words for a whole story, that would just be my introduction. It's not possible for me to be concise. I can think of a story but its dark, very dark.

I think I going to get around to painting the windows...

Or as the discussion went today: 'do you think you could murder someone in 7 minutes and hide the body?' (Disclaimer - I was listening to an audiobook on crime investigation and the presented told me to think about it!). DH says not, I'm not so sure...)

This isn't something I said, but something I did...

I clicked on a thread entitled 'How many loo rolls have you got? Be honest!' because I was interested.

What's happening to me??

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my paper for [international academic conference] was accepted! The bad news is that it's probably going to be cancelled because of coronavirus, so I'm not buying any plane tickets yet."

(PhD student, would have been my first proper conference presentation)

Also, about my click-and-collect order: "They had everything I wanted except the soap, rice, pasta and wine."

Have you disinfected that cat food?

Don't open that box without gloves!

A genuine conversation from today.

DP - did you enjoy your bath? (As I come downstairs in fresh jammies with hair blow dried for a change - I've nothing else to do)

Me - oh yes

DP - the bath water was coming through the kitchen ceiling, I've sorted it though.

Me - oh no

DP - it's ok, it was a bit exciting really

Me - oh that's good.

Now normally it would be him moaning at me that it was my fault this happened and then bemoaning the fact something had gone wrong and we would need to touch up the kitchen or whatever, but there is not a thing we can do. Changed days indeed.

Whilst on a walk - Well done DD you're quite good at opening gates with your feet now.

I've loved reading these each day, I've laughed so much.

Im cold, i better check my temperature...
No, im ok, phew, good !

Virus is making me go insane!

“The fruit and veg wholesaler would only deliver 10kg bags of potatoes so we have lots of potatoes. Want some?”

“I put some potatoes in a bag behind your bin”

“I was going to make potato pancakes but we don’t have any flour. Why is there no flour in London?”

“It was great, because I thought I’d need my whole lunch hour to queue at the pharmacy but there were only ten people ahead of me”

“Remember when life wasn’t boring and terrifying at the same time all the time?”

Ooooo Joe Wickes hasn't half made my arse hurt

Cross the road if you see anybody coming
No the rabbits don't need to socially distance (apart from the obvious anyway!}

Sorry Son... the park really is shut......and I’m not lying like I usually do!😳